How to look light

Laurarara

Hi all. 

I just got engaged last month and I'm thinking gowns. I have MS so it's unlikely I'm going to fit in the kind of exercise I need in order to lose a lot of weight by the wedding. I'm 225 lbs. and size 16. I'm very busty (DDD) and I have big, curly hair.

However, if there's one dream I want for myself at my wedding, it's that I look light. By light I don't mean skinny or slim or anything like that. I mean I want to sort of look like I'm walking on air (because that's how I'll feel!). It's very hard for me to walk/run/jump/etc so I'd like to have pictures of at least one day when that doesn't seem to be the case.

I want a dress that makes me look as long as possible and I want an updo with natural-looking tendrils. Obviously, I want something like a chiffon with a flattering, minimizing bust. Maybe an a-line...I don't know. Sometimes I really like satin because it flows like water, but then I think maybe lace, where the sun can poke through, is a better idea.

We're having a beach wedding so no long trains and I don't want anything too poofy where sand can hide.

The problem is I know nothing about what makes a woman like me look her best. I don't know what kind of a dress would look best on me. Sleeves or no sleeves? White or off-white? Corset top? Length? Lowness of back?

What do you think?

mcda04

Hi. Congratulations on your engagement.

Last Sept. (my wedding was 9-29) I weighed 155 Lbs. I am VERY busty, I wear a 38G. When I initially went dress shopping, I thought a strapless sweetheart ballgown would be the best for me since it's what the bridal magz recommended. Well I hated how strapless looked. I have pretty broad shoulders so it just emphasized them. I ended up wearing a halter satin A-line gown and I felt beautiful the day of my wedding.

I get what you're trying to say. You'll look stunning in the right dress. Keep your options open and try on as many styles as possible.

QueerFemme

I think your best bet is just to keep an open mind.  Dresses look very different on different bodies based on height, weight, bust, waist, etc.  A flowy chiffon dress may look amazing on one person, but look like a tent on someone else.

For example, I am also very busty (38H) and about a size 16, and I was SURE I wanted something blingy and a halter and a little poofy. Well, every halter I tried on looked horrible on me. I was shocked, because I routinely wear halter tops/dresses.  I ended up with a somewhat understated chiffon A-Line, strapless dress. 

So, you just never know until you start trying things on, and see how they feel on you. 

here is my dress:

Laurarara

Fantastic ideas, ladies.

CMGILPIN, you look lovely in your dress.

I'll post some ideas in a little bit and ask for your opinions.

MuppetOverlord

You can lose weight without exercise. When I joined WW in January I was approx the same as you and I'm down to about 204 now, I haven't been very active, it's all about making healthier choices for me right now. I find it satisfying. 

In this short time, I feel so much better and less bloated and overall healthy and lighter.

I'd like to lose at least 20 more in the next 7 months and I don't think it'll be an issue.

My mother lost 40 lbs by just changing her eating habits!

Laurarara

I'm on a medication that maintains my weight and also my thyroid is dying so I'm not sure if that would work for me. I can't take thyroid meds because of my gastro problems. It's all a big mess.

As it is I eat like 1500-2000 calories a day AND I have digestive issues so I don't keep it all down. I've been like that since December and I've actually gained 2 pounds since then. I've upped my activity level, but for someone with a mobility disability that doesn't mean much. Still, I try to stay out of the wheelchair as much as possible and I get in like 3/4 of a mile of walking every day. My problem is I have no metabolism. My metabolism is running at like 20% of it's capacity or something like that.

Messing around with my medications are not an option unless I get pregnant. I'm not planning to have kids anytime soon, though. (Although, if I did, I'd probably LOSE weight).

I'm looking at other ways of possibly losing weight, but even if I find one, I'll probably lose 10 lbs at most before my wedding (18 months from now), which doesn't mean much. 

QueerFemme

Don't worry about losing weight.  Just find the dress that suits your body the way it is. There are hundreds of plus size gowns out there.  You will find one that is perfect for you.

MuppetOverlord

Gotcha, my FI uses a wheelchair and is doing the same program as I am and losing about 1/4 as much as I have so far because it's a lot harder for him to be active, though he is doing it. He's not taking so many meds though.

I wouldnt worry about it. You're going to be beautiful in your gown anyway. If you're floating on cloud 9 because you're so happy that day, everyone will notice!

Laurarara

My BIGGEST dream for my wedding ever since I was a little girl was that the wedding wouldn't matter. I want to have a wedding, but I don't care much about the details. I'm so in love with this man, we could be in a swamp during a hailstorm for our wedding and I'd still run down the asile to marry him. It would still be the happiest day of my life.

If my dress makes me look like the stay-puffed marhmellow man, it couldn't put a damper on that day. Still, since I have the option, that's one of the details that I'd like to attempt to get right.

MuppetOverlord

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_plus-sized_how-to-look-light?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:973cdc6f-961e-4fb0-a628-bef2bb559697Discussion:38bff0a1-66f1-4201-a50d-fcb26c341280Post:d5dc4b20-19fe-41f8-a6c8-f094ba4afcf3">Re: How to look light</a>:
[QUOTE]My BIGGEST dream for my wedding ever since I was a little girl was that the wedding wouldn't matter. I want to have a wedding, but I don't care much about the details. I'm so in love with this man, we could be in a swamp during a hailstorm for our wedding and I'd still run down the asile to marry him. It would still be the happiest day of my life. If my dress makes me look like the stay-puffed marhmellow man, it couldn't put a damper on that day. Still, since I have the option, that's one of the details that I'd like to attempt to get right.
Posted by Laurarara[ /QUOTE]

That's beautiful!  I told FI I love him so much I'd live in a shoebox if we had to (while we were looking for a house, unsuccesfully at the time). It's amazing to feel that way about someone.

wagillespie

You don't need to lose weight! You will look beautiful no matter what you wear. As long as you FEEL beuatiful and have the love for your husband on that day, you will be flosting. I lovw what you just posted too, about the swamp and hailstorm!
I too have mobility issues and stressed for months about my dress, then when I finally went shopping I fell in love with one and my first thought was, "I feel skinny!" I am so happy with it. I think that if you find the right dress, you WILL feel like you are floating and amazing. Let the women at the bridal shop help you, they are very good at knowing what looks best on people for their shape and size.

Post a picture when you find it!!

MuppetOverlord

"hen I finally went shopping I fell in love with one and mye first thought was, "I feel skinny!""

My family owns a bridal shop. My mother will say that the perfect dress is the one that makes you feel like a bride. I felt fat in the first 5 dresses I tried on. Then, she pulled out the one she had envisioned on me and I was like....hey..I have a figure!....and one made me feel really great and that's all I wanted to feel.

She was proud of heself for picking the winning dress...but then again, this is also her job...so I'll echo how a dress shop can assist here

hyechica81

i hate strapless anything and almost every good looking gown has them i would call places where you are and that are within a good driving distance from you that you are willing to drive that have plus size samples in your size to try on if you go to a good bridal salon they can give u tips and advice on stuff i know if i pick a strapless gown sleeves or straps will have to be added or i will be wearing a bolero my upper arms are my worst feature. 

i would stear away from davids bridal everyting is cookie cutter it has been seen  on a lot of brides the stuff is massed produced in high qualitites.you dont really have any room for any customization. i fell in love with this dress but it was cap sleeves i wanted them to add more lace to cover my upper arms and they said they could not and did not have the fabric to do so 

Laurarara

Ok, here's my idea...

A conservatively cut, white, ballroom dance dress. That way, the dress will be comfortable, it'll move with me and look light, and I'll be able to shake my booty as much as I can.

What do you think (imagine this dress tailored for a larger woman)

http://i.ebayimg.com/t/Ballroom-Dance-Dress-long-evening-dress-D015-White-/00/$(KGrHqQOKiQE1(Ri+Wt0BNkDJ1kvdg~~_35.JPG

Laurarara

Maybe this:

http://i01.i.aliimg.com/photo/v0/111671113/Ballroom_dance_dress.jpg

QueerFemme

Honestly, the first one looks like a nightgown to me. The second one is clearly a dress for a ballroom dancer, and won't have a whole lot of structure in the dress, since they are designed for stick thin women. 

Ballroom dance dresses don't have a lot of boning and the fabric isn't very forgiving.  You will be able to see every lump and bump. 

I encourage you to go try dresses on. Looking at photos online is great and gives you ideas, but you won't know what you like until you've seen it on your body.

If you are looking for something more modest and without a train, consider some of DavidsBridal's simple plus size gowns:

http://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_Halter-Chiffon-A-Line-with-Center-Front-Draping-BR1016_Bridal-Gowns-Shop-By-Size-Plus-Sizes

http://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_One-Shoulder-Mesh-Gown-with-Beaded-Waist-EJ2M2626_Bridal-Gowns-Shop-By-Size-Plus-Sizes

http://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_Floral-Burnout-Chiffon-Gown-859695D_Bridal-Gowns-Shop-By-Size-Plus-Sizes

http://www.davidsbridal.com/Product_Chiffon-Gown-with-High-Slit-and-Halter-Tie-Back-WG3482_Bridal-Gowns-Shop-By-Size-Plus-Sizes

Laurarara

Thanks!