freaking out over weight

i2012do

hi ladies, I touch in on this board here and there
anyway, I had a long engagement, over 2 years, and my plan was to eat healthy, work out, and hopefully lose 40 lbs over the course of 2 years which seemed really attainable.

I gained baout 50 lbs since meeting my fiance and I felt like I wanted to get back to the point I was at when I met him.

I also thought I was horribly fat and ugly then- and I look back at photos of myself 50 lbs ago and was liek "actually, I looked good-- compared to now!"

I have been a bit overweight my entire life, I would say 20-25 lkbs but at this point in my life I'm more than 75 lbs more than my "average" weight I have been since high school.

I feel horrible about my body and now my wedding is 4 months away.

I know I just have to accept that on my wedding day I will weigh the most of I have ever weight in my entire life, and it keeps me up at night. Literally. I can't sleep or anything. I cry all the time about it

I eat really healthy and I excercise regularly though not as much as I should.....I recently started the couch to 5 k and have been writing down my food, but I really need to kick it into gear.

My shower is a month away and I am terrified to be in photos!!

All my bridesmaids who i know care about me and love me tell me i look beautiful but they are all around a size 4 or 6... so i feel like ever WORSE next to them.

Has anoyne else freaked out about this? I am going to be so embrassed to be in photos, or show my children one day their fat mom.
I feel horrid about myself. I have stretch markss literally ALL OVER the place.
and I feellike i won't feel pretty on my wedding day.

I really want to focus on getting rid of my belly, toning up my arms, and losing weight in my face.

I have considered joining jenny craig from now until August and my mom has offered to pay. Has anyone used this?

dumdumfroggie

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_plus-sized_freaking-out-over-weight?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:973cdc6f-961e-4fb0-a628-bef2bb559697Discussion:4020a154-076c-4f5f-aa16-341f2dab977ePost:170d23a5-5ff6-4f7c-a0f3-e33fe52ed9b3">freaking out over weight</a>:
[QUOTE] I really want to focus on getting rid of my belly, toning up my arms, and losing weight in my face. I have considered joining jenny craig from now until August and my mom has offered to pay. Has anyone used this?
Posted by i2012do[/QUOTE]

<div>Well, first of all, you will be beautiful.  Once you get your dress on, hair done, and makeup fixed, I have no doubt that you'll feel beautiful and that your FI will think you are as well.</div><div>
</div><div>For the above part, if you lose weight it's going to be all over.  You can work on toning your arms and core, but there really aren't any face exercises.  </div><div>
</div><div>You still have some time to lose a bit of weight.  Have you signed up for something like My Fitness Pal?  They set a calorie goal for you and it's quite easy to use.</div><div>
</div><div>I'm not a huge fan of the Jenny Craig thing.  It's important to get healthy for you and your life, not just your wedding.  With their prepackaged foods, it's more of a quick fix than a lifestyle change.</div>

anna.oskar

Hi!

You still have time to make a difference.  Especially since I find that people with a healthy eating and fitness lifestyle often benefit from healthier looking hair, skin, and nails which can make a huge difference in confidence levels.  I'm not going to lie, I hate most of mmy wedding pictures because I feel that I look SO fat in them.  BUT, it was still an amazing day and I can't remember ever feeling that beautiful.  Try not to stress.  Concentrate on making a whole life change and see how far you can get by your wedding day.  I've made it a mini-goal that as soon as I'm at a good weight, I'm going to treat myself to a full me and H photo shoot so I have pictures I am proud of.

Jenny Craig works well for many, but the problem is that they do everything for you so that once you stop, you still haven't learned how to eat properly and thus, many regain some or all of the weight.

i suggest hopping onto a site like SparkPeople.com, and start tracking every bite and drink you have for a week.  It was really enlightening for me to do that as it made all my food problems very obvious and then easier to fix.  You can't spot reduce, but the sooner you start, the sooner you will start seeing results.  Concentrate on your eating though.  It is said that weight loss is 80% diet and 20% exercise, So definitely get on the food thing asap.

If you need any help at all, give me a shout over on the GIS board.  There are tons of really smart and helpful ladies over there that can help you get on the right path.  They helped me!

cinderellasjc

first of all.... regardless of your weight... Your family and friends will not be looking at your BM.  They will be looking at how beautiful the bride is!!!
You have plenty of time to shed some weight.  I found walking was my best motivation.  Once your out the door, you have no choice than to keep walking.  I have gone from couch potato to walking 3 miles a day (one in the am, midday, pm).  Now I've become addicted, walking rain or shine......  and not as much concerned about losing weight, but how healthy I have become.  My eating habbits have changed pretty much on their own.  Because I feel better, I eat better. 
You can do it!!!!!! little bit at a time! Good Luck!

i2012do

thanks ladies.I do belond to MFP and I usually keep within the caloric range I have set for myself. I noticed I was using olive oil WAY too muchas a condiment and adding excess calories from that. Also other sauces like mariana and pesto.

I've tried to cut down carbs, we were eating pasta 2-3 times a week with things like spaghetti squash etc.

I feel so desperate now, I am at a loss.

I would like to lose around 20 lbs, but it seems that even eating healthy, excercising I am only losing  a few lbs here and there and the last time I did WW it took me 6 monhts to lose 12 lbs ....

My thryoid is also an issue and I am on new medication but it is a constant struggle
I also struggle with watching people around me eat more than me, and I am constantly ordering salads and having to order the lightest thing on the menu and they are all so thin and I am so NOT. that is the frustrating part.

QueerFemme

You have some time to lose some weight before the wedding.   I did Jenny Craig for a while. It actually is a very good program to lose the weight, but I have found that most people don't keep it off once you quit.  When I joined Jenny, I lost about 25 pounds in 4 months. And, that was with cheating here & there. I think I lost 15 pounds in the first month when I was being really strict. 

If you are being VERY careful, you could lose 25-30 pounds in the next 4 months.  But, I mean, VERY careful and strict.  No caffeine, very little pasta/bread.  a TON of veggies, and working out at least 4 times a week.  You have to be honest with yourself. (I'm not saying you aren't... I'm just talking from personal experience here).  Are you snacking at night at all?   Are you adding sugar/cream in your coffee?   How much dressing are you putting on your salads?  Use lemon juice and vinegar instead.  I know I used to complain about not being able to lose weight...  but, then I'd eat a bag of pretzels while I was watching TV.    I'm frustrated right now about not losing weight, but I'm not doing anything to make it happen.  I "say" I'm exercising, but I know the difference between when I was REALLY exercising compared to what I'm doing now.

It's really a question of how hard you are willing to work to get those pounds off.  Regardless though, you are going to be beautiful on your wedding day.  You are going to be exactly the vision your fiance is looking forward to... and you have to try to remember to enjoy your day and the experience.

i2012do

i agree with what you said cmgilpin. There is a difference between the excercising i am doing, and what I could be doing. When I goto zumba I come home dripping sweat, I stink,i am soaked its gross. When I work out on my own, be it running or the gym (I have a gym literally across the hall from my apartment and i dont use it half as much as i should) I am on the bike, on the elliptical, doing weights, but I am not working up the same sweat, or even at the same capacity as I am when I work out in a group atmosphere.

As for the eating. I do cheat. I do eat too many carbs.
I'm not a snacker I never have been. But I know portion control is my issue. i feel like since I only eat 3 square meals a day so I can eat three big meals a day.
Work is also a pitfall i sit behind a computer at a desk all day. I noticed since I started working full time in 06' i have put on 10-15 lbs a year!! I do't really pick throughout the day but I am certainly not moving and then have a salad or sandwich for lunch or left overs, and i never move.
No one at my office ever takes a lunch and we never leave our desks ecvept to brainstorm or for a meeting, and if we do we have iek 10 min to run to the store and you are frowned upon- so I can't really get out and walk during lunch. If I could get in a solid 30 min brisk walk I would.

I'm exhausted when i get hoe and i plop down on the couch and try to excercise in the morning.

QueerFemme

You have to stop eating three huge meals a day.  That is probably the biggest problem.  You need to eat a light, healthy breakfast, maybe a bigger lunch, and a light dinner.  You also NEED to snack throughout the day. I don't mean on a cookie. I mean, on veggies. Baby carrots.  A handfull of raw almonds, a half of a granola bar, a banana.  Bring some stuff with you to work so you have it ready at your desk and you never get to the point where you feel starving. 

Your body takes about 1-2 hours to digest your food.  So, at the end of the 2nd hour after your meal, everything you ate is gone, and your body is basically hungry again. Not hungry for a full meal, but just a little something to add some fuel.  If you dont' eat throughout the day, and you wait until you get to a MEAL, you are going to overeat and your body is storing all the fat it can because you aren't feeding it often enough.

And, trust me, I know what you mean about being exhausted at the end of the day.  Right now, I keep saying "Oh, I'm going to take the dogs for a brisk walk... I'm going to go for a run, I'm going to get back to the gym, whatever.  And I'm not doing it, becuase I feel exhausted.  But, I know for sure that in September when I'm being photographed from 100 different angles, I'm going to regret not getting off my butt.   So, I'm saying all of this to you, but hoping it sinks in for me too.

i2012do

ha! I like that saying this for you, but needing it for me too line.
I don't mean three large meals

Here's today:

Morning am- english muffin, egg white, slice of ham, 1 slive of cheese- I could hav done without the cheese and done a WW english muffin

Lunch- Chicke and Rice soup from the local whole foods, a small cup
1/2 of a turkey sandiwch, turkey, lettuce, tomato on wheat bread

And for dinner I made Chicken Pot pie the other day. So I KNOW i need to portion control because I need to eat 1 slice and a large salad and not 2 slices.
so that is def. where I fail.

Its hard to snack at work becse i don't really ever have time. but you are right if I have some baby carrots- that dont require any work, i can find a minute to snack here and there.

i was keeping edamame at my desk to snack on when I got a second but i literally was eating the entire thing during the day then feeling so depressed. Because you can also have TOO much of a good thing.

when I go for a walk tonight or to the gym, i will think of you CMG...because your last line in tis post inspired me- esp the part about being photographed!

anglyn

I wouldn't be freaking out. Your FI wouldn't have asked you to marry him if he hated the way you look! If you want to start eating healthy and getting exercise thats great! I wouldn't do Jenny Craig because you need to learn to do it on your own. I love love myfitnesspal.com. It has been working so well for me so far. Try it out for two weeks before you pay for any programs. I wish I had tried it out before I joined weight watchers. 

I wish I could lose my belly weight and arm weight. I have lost 30 pounds so far. I have lost my butt. some boobs, some belly and some of my back fat. You can't detemine where it comes from. Any weight lost is good and healthier. 

Only you will know what works best for you. I have heard that the best way to tranistion is to start adding healthier foods in with what you are already eating. Then after a few weeks, start removing the unhealthy foods. I still splurge a lot but I know if I eat some hot wings, I can't have fries with them. Then I make sure I work out later or eat a healthy dinner. Or vice versa. If I know I'm having an unhealthy dinner, I eat a salad for lunch... etc. 

Kate61487

You still have time, OP!  I lost 50 pounds in 4 months for my wedding.  For me the 17 Day Diet did wonders, I needed strict rules because I have, like, no will power.  On the 17 day diet you can eat as much as you want as long as it's the right foods (and what those foods are change in 17 day rotations).  I just recently went back on it, because even at my wedding I still wasn't at a healthy weight.  Today is day 14 and I'm down 9 pounds (average weight loss the first 17 days is 11 pounds).

Get the book - it's hugely motivating and makes you WANT to follow the rules.  And while it does cut out whole groups of foods there are still plenty of options.  Editing the meal plan you posted to fit the diet would look something like this:

**edit** aw shucks, all my fancy strikethroughs disappeared.we'll try red for delete and green for add

Morning am- english muffin, egg white, slice of ham, 1 slive of cheese add some fruit (apples, berries, grapefruit – avoid bananas and melons), add a yogurt

Lunch- Chicken and Rice soup from the local whole foods (soup is fine, but avoid starches like rice or beans), 1/2 of a turkey sandiwch, turkey, lettuce, tomato on wheat bread re-imagine that sandwich into a lettuce wrap or salad.

And for dinner I made Chicken Pot piethe other day. While it’s easy to convince yourself this is a relatively healthy choice because of all the veggies it’s cream based and stuffed inside a buttery pastry.  Decompose that – cook some chicken (with salsa, with Dijonsauce, with sundried tomatoes – you can find a thousand different ways to cook chicken online) and eat those veggies on the side.  Or make a stirfry.   

And you really must add some snacks into your day to keep you going.  Baby carrots, celery, an apple, a yogurt, some chicken or tuna salad.  Buy yourself one of these lunch boxes that keeps your food cold (link) so you can just pull something out without leaving your desk

You can do this, OP.  Wedding photos are an incredibly powerful motivator.  When you see something you want but know you shouldn't eat think to yourself "is it worth it?  Is it worth hating my wedding pictures to have a few seconds of indulgence?"  and then eat some carrots. 

jenbricker02

First off DONT FREAK out... Your man loves you no matter what! IF you want to lose weight fast contact me! I have the best way to lose weight fast. check out my website at http://jenbricker.myvi.net to see if you are interested in it. Or feel free to call me or text me at 989-745-2150 or even email me at jenbricker02@yahoo.com
Good luck and trust me this will work and fast!!!

qtrfan

Ditch as many carbs as possible, particularly white empty carbs like potatoes and bread.  Any carbs should come from fruit or whole grains like oatmeal or brown rice.

Focus on protein - meat, cheese, fish, ff milk, cottage cheese, eggs, greek yogurt (plain), nuts, protein bars (make sure you find low sugar bars not the candy bar type).

Round out your meals with healthy non-starchy vegetables and get a tsp. of healthy fat such as olive oil, cannola oil or margarine daily.  Your body needs some fat to function properly.

Keep your calories at 12-1500 per day and work out at least 30 minutes 5 or more days a week.  You need both cardio and weight training.  Get eight hours of sleep a night.

Losing 40 lbs in 4 months is tough, but high protein will certainly help you take some of the excess weight off and keep your hunger under control.

Good luck.  I have lost 90 lbs. in a little under 8 months following this eating plan.

i2012do

thanks ladies. I appreciate all the advice!

bmorris0110

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_plus-sized_freaking-out-over-weight?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:973cdc6f-961e-4fb0-a628-bef2bb559697Discussion:4020a154-076c-4f5f-aa16-341f2dab977ePost:3cb2491b-5bf1-4e91-b02b-379852a80a84">Re: freaking out over weight</a>:
[QUOTE]You still have time, OP!  I lost 50 pounds in 4 months for my wedding.  For me the 17 Day Diet did wonders, I needed strict rules because I have, like, no will power.  On the 17 day diet you can eat as much as you want as long as it's the right foods (and what those foods are change in 17 day rotations).  I just recently went back on it, because even at my wedding I still wasn't at a healthy weight.  Today is day 14 and I'm down 9 pounds (average weight loss the first 17 days is 11 pounds). Get the book - it's hugely motivating and makes you WANT to follow the rules.  And while it does cut out whole groups of foods there are still plenty of options.  Editing the meal plan you posted to fit the diet would look something like this: **edit** aw shucks, all my fancy strikethroughs disappeared.we'll try red for delete and green for add Morning am- english muffin , egg white, slice of ham, 1 slive of cheese add some fruit (apples, berries, grapefruit – avoid bananas and melons), add a yogurt Lunch- Chicken and Rice soup from the local whole foods (soup is fine, but avoid starches like rice or beans) , 1/2 of a turkey sandiwch , turkey, lettuce, tomato on wheat bread re-imagine that sandwich into a lettuce wrap or salad. And for dinner I made Chicken Pot piethe other day. While it’s easy to convince yourself this is a relatively healthy choice because of all the veggies it’s cream based and stuffed inside a buttery pastry.   Decompose that – cook some chicken (with salsa, with Dijonsauce, with sundried tomatoes – you can find a thousand different ways to cook chicken online) and eat those veggies on the side.   Or make a stirfry.     And you really must add some snacks into your day to keep you going.   Baby carrots, celery, an apple, a yogurt, some chicken or tuna salad.   Buy yourself one of these lunch boxes that keeps your food cold ( link ) so you can just pull something out without leaving your desk You can do this, OP.  Wedding photos are an incredibly powerful motivator.  When you see something you want but know you shouldn't eat think to yourself "is it worth it?  Is it worth hating my wedding pictures to have a few seconds of indulgence?"  and then eat some carrots. 
Posted by Kate61487[/QUOTE]




This! I just started the 17 day diet on Monday and so far so good. Not feeling like I'm starving myself at all. I know people that have had very good success following this plan. And I think having the book tell me exactly what I can a cannot eat it helping me stick to it better than just trying to eat healthy on my own. OP, if you are interested I would be happy to be your buddy to keep each other motivated!

Kate61487

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_plus-sized_freaking-out-over-weight?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:973cdc6f-961e-4fb0-a628-bef2bb559697Discussion:4020a154-076c-4f5f-aa16-341f2dab977ePost:7c1d8b81-6df9-4e7c-ba0d-cfaad2cba180">Re: freaking out over weight</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: freaking out over weight : This! I just started the 17 day diet on Monday and so far so good. Not feeling like I'm starving myself at all. I know people that have had very good success following this plan. And I think having the book tell me exactly what I can a cannot eat it helping me stick to it better than just trying to eat healthy on my own. OP, if you are interested I would be happy to be your buddy to keep each other motivated!
Posted by bmorris0110[/QUOTE]

Yay for another 17 Day'er :-)  My mom and I did it together for the wedding and she had awesome results as well.  I can name at least 6 people in our (h's and mine) immediate families who started it after seeing our results and did great on it too!

jmp2004

There's tons of great advice on here, but forgive me for not reading them all.

BUT, here's what a friend told me was told to her before her wedding several years ago...

Gain weight before your wedding, rather than losing it, because you'll still be beautiful, it's the magic of the day.  But lose the weight and make your life changes afterwards, so that when you, or friends, look back at your wedding pictures in the years to come, everyone will tell you how incredible you look years later.  Rather than feeling like you let yourself go after getting married or whatever.

I thought it was rather brilliant.  Wedding pictures are always incredible, and you'll feel awesome, even if you aren't at your ideal weight.  This is kinda the advice I'm taking, because I can't lose more than about 10 lbs before the wedding or my dress will be too big.  So I'm making the big changes and getting back to where I want to be after the wedding.

lesliesoontobehoward

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_plus-sized_freaking-out-over-weight?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:973cdc6f-961e-4fb0-a628-bef2bb559697Discussion:4020a154-076c-4f5f-aa16-341f2dab977ePost:7e49db42-7ee1-4197-8d4b-3a330a3544da">Re: freaking out over weight</a>:
[QUOTE]My thryoid is also an issue and I am on new medication but it is a constant struggle
Posted by i2012do[/QUOTE]

I am totally in the same boat. Last year, I couldn't figure out why I was gaining weight no matter what I did, and my thyroid issues were discovered last November. The problem with this is that it takes 6-8 weeks to know if a medication is working, and here I am, 6 months  and 3 dosages later, and I'm still not on the right medication. My wedding is two weeks away, and I literally cannot lose weight. I actually eat a completely clean, unprocessed diet and am training for a 10k, and I cannot lose weight.

In the end, I just decided to say, "Screw it!" My fiance loves me, and I look damn good in my dress anyway! Eventually, my medication will work itself out, and the weight will come off when it does. I'm focusing on a healthy future, rather than the weight I simply can't do anything about before my wedding right now.

i2012do

i appreciate everyone's feedback. It's a constant stuggle and its good to have a place to vent. It's really hard to be the heaviest of all my friends.
For examle when I said i was struggling with finding a dress for my shower- the ladies on here gave me great alternatives and places to look, and I discovered new places to shop.
My own thin friends (I am the heaviest of alll by FAR)...suggested I look at HnM or go to Francescas. I know they love me, and have also known me back when I was 150lbs as well as 230 lbs... so maybe they don't know how I feel. But I am like "hello i cant shop at those stores.. they dont FIT ME"
i know that they love me and see me the same as they always have so for them- its not so obvisous when they suggest I run to H+M to grab a dress. lol

i appreciate all the support.
I actually just looked into the 17 day diet. though I don't wnat to call it a diet-- and really think this is of interest to me!
Will let you know how it goes after the first 17 days

rafiki1082

i need some serious motivation too! i eat a large variety of foods but i'm picky about the way they are cooked so it's hard for me to stick to a serious diet (i.e. i eat eggs but hard boiled which are healthy are just gross, won't eat yogurt without loading up on the granola, texture of banana's make me sick). i'm managing to lose weight mostly with portion control (i've gone from a large size 18 to about a standard 14 top/16 bottom) but i'm not losing fast enough and i'm too drained after work to get to the gym and oversleep so i'm not getting up early enough to think about going before work. i need some easy ways to tone up my arms for my sleeveless wedding dress, the rest i've decided i can deal with thanks to slimming undergarments. i've come a long way from where i used to be in terms of my weight, and accepting the way i look thatnks to the support of my fi and most os my fam, but i need to live with these pics the rest of my life and i don't want to regret not trying. my wedding is 9/30/12. any advice?

anna.oskar

rafiki: come on over to the Getting in Shape board.  We can help you out.