ADVICE PLEASE!!!!

osubuckigrl78

I know this isnt really PS related, but I posted on the pre-wedding parties and got no responses, and since I post on this board quite a bit, and get some really good feedback, i thought maybe you girls would be willing to give me some advice....

Ok, so I am getting married in May 2012.....When FI and I first got engaged, a friend of mine was all over it, and going on and on about how she was gonna have a shower for me, and asking me when would be a good time, and even made me give her a date of when I thought would be a good day for us to do it.... that date was March 17th or 18th.....whichever is a sunday, sorry I dont have a calander with me..... anyway, she hasnt said anything since then and it has been about 5 months, and is now less than 2 months away..... So, my question is, should I mention it to her?? I mean I dont want to feel like Im asking her to give me a shower, and I dont want her to feel obligated to, if she has since changed her mind..... HELP!!!

LuckyGirl1713

she may not be saying anything cause she wants it to be a surprise.  what i would do is start asking your other friends, someone that you are really close to that would definitely be involved with and invited to the shower.  see if they have any details about it or have heard anything about it.  that way you can gauge if anything is happening. 

bruna29

Hm... this is a tricky situation. She may feel guilty or feel pressured to give you a shower if you ask her about it. Then again, she may also want it to be a surprise, she just might be busy and hasn't gotten around to planning it yet, or maybe she's looked into throwing you a shower and realized that it can get to be quite expensive and can't afford it. Only you would know how she would take it if you were to ask.

If it was me, I wouldn't ask. I would just let whatever happens happen. If you receive an invite or someone tells you to show up somewhere at a certain time, then you'll know. However, if you don't hear another word about it, then it's safe to assume that she was just trying to be nice and make conversation (or something else happened that prevented her from throwing you a shower). 

You could always ask some of your other friends who are within the same friend group, but then word will probably get back to your friend and she may feel bad if she's not actually throwing you a shower. Honestly, I'd just let this go. If she wants to throw you one, she will. If she doesn't, then she won't.

DrymallaWedding

That is a toughy...I would just bring it up casually as like "Hey, I was wondering if we were still on for the shower? I was doing our wedding guest list and it occured to me that you may need a guest list and want to get it to you as early as possible"

RaptorSLH

I can see where asking could get sticky, but I would still tend to ask if either anyone else is offering to throw the parties, or you had received an invite or had the chance to do something else on that weekend.

I agree to keep it light.  "Hey, we haven't talked about it in awhile, and I was wondering if you still wanted me to keep March 17th open?"  "So, Jenny has been talking about throwing a shower for me, and I didn't know if you were still planning something, and wanted to coordinate with her, or if I should just give her the green light?"

Grits8812

I would bring it up with friends that would know.  Don't sound too pushy about it, like you are demanding one, but you do need to know what is going on, or not going on.

entropicbeauty

Agree with PPs about bringing it up casually - I'd want to know.

This is also why I've declined all offers of showers though...

roxiems75

I would be very causal with it hey by the way I know we discussed you having a shower for me and if that is still something you are working on doing. let me know if you would like a copy of our wedding guest list.  So what about lunch today at our favorite place......

hlevine

I agree - bring it up casually, say "Hey some friends were asking if I am having a shower" or "Hey I am planning my March schedule, are we still doing the shower on March 17"...I think these sound pretty low pressure and it's not asking her to plan anything for you.