8 months to go and still no dress :( Scared and dont know what to do...

EastSideBlonde

I am having the worst time finding a dress for my 10.11.12 wedding… I am 36 and about a 5’9” wedding dress size 22/24 and I can’t find a dress that I love both the top and bottom of on me…  I have gone to about 8 dress shops and can only try on a 2-8 dresses on and don’t feel comfortable hoping it will look nice in my size for such a pricey important gown.I have been working out with a trainer 2 times a week since Dec 13^th, and cardo 4 times in the morning and eating as organic and smart choices as I can,  but am only down one dress size (not going to order smaller in case I don’t lose enough) and need to pick and order a dress soon…  the more I look the more depressed I get standing next to a 20 somthing in a size 8 dress all clipped tight while I cant get the size 12 over my chest… this week end was the worst I broke down crying after a 45 minute wait just to try on 3 dresses and look at about 5 that I loved  but was told I could not try on…Do I just give in and pick one of the 3 that looked nice but did not give me the “this is it” feeling?? I was thinking of going for the cheapest rather then sending 2k on a dress and hope it looks nice – I just feel so ugly and like I should just skip the whole thing

egeurts

First of all: you still have plenty of time. Some people plan entire weddings in 8 months, and yes, you should try to find a dress, but you have been, so don't feel like you've reached the now or never moment- you haven't. 

Second: you will find one. Quit panicking. Panicking only makes things worse. You will find a dress, and you will feel beautiful on your day. Trust in that. Your FI loves you for you, and finding a dress that fits you as you are now rather than trying to squeeze into one that doesn't or ordering one that's too small in an attempt to lose weight is a the way to go- it's awesome that you're working out, but realism trumps dashed hopes every time. Way to go! and remember- you will feel beautiful no matter what.

Third: Quit comparing yourself to women half your age and half your size. This isn't high school, and thinking about it like that is only going to make you feel worse. Read the above paragraph. Positive thinking is the way to go. Keep trying. Have you been calling ahead when you go dress shopping to see how many PS dresses they have, or have you been showing up and being disappointed in the selection? Remember, your FI didn't fall for a skinny 20 something bimbo, he fell for you. You will find a dress that shows you off, the way you are, and highlights your natural beauty (enhanced with appropriate makeup and hair) to make your day extra super special. 

Lastly: Keep coming back here and to your family and friends for support, advice, and when you do find the dress, we want pictures. BECAUSE YOU WILL FIND ONE. And some people have big moments, and some don't. Some people start to cry, and some just pick a dress that they love and goes with their theme. Don't hold yourself to unrealistic expectations if that's not the type of person you are. But regardless, you wil find a dress, it will be ok, and we fully expect updates along the way. Ok? Ok. 

renjon7798

You will find a dress.  I promise you that!  And egeurts is correct when she says you can't compare yourself to any other bride.  Age, body shape, hair color, skin tone, eye color...none of that matters.  What matters is that you are beautiful in every way shape and form and you will find a dress that enhances your beauty!

Keep coming back here and show us pictures of dresses you like or even better, pictures of you in dresses!  We will give you feedback and encouragement.  But above all, remember, YOU WILL FIND YOUR DRESS!! 

renjon7798

I don't know how far you are from Allentown PA, but there is an AA desginer store there and I think you should try some dresses on there.  Even if you don't find a dress you love, I PROMISE you they will have so many different styles in your size that you can at the very least find a style that you like.  They carry almost every style of dress they have on their web site in sizes 2-30 in their store!  If you get the chance, go check them out!

divinemsbee

You will find it. I'm getting married in late October and refuse to dress shop until May (various reasons). That leaves me 5 months, and I know people who have planned a whole wedding in that time frame. STOP LOOKING AT OTHER PEOPLE. If you keep comparing yourself, you'll only end up more disappointed. IF you have the money, don't cheap out if you don't have to, find something you love. However, and I'm normally not the girl who goes all wedding-industry-is-evil on people, there may not every be a "this is it, omigod" dress. It is, on a larger scale, just like picking out any other special occasion dress. But, it's a dress, it's regular fabric, not the shroud of Turin, it can only do what a dress does (cover you, and make you look the best you can) it can't perform miracles.

becka717

David's Bridal also usually has a large selection of plus size dresses available in their stores.  I'm sorry you are feeling so bad about finding your dress, but you still do have time, and you will find it!

gundy21

You will find your dress!  Our engagement was just shy of 8 months and I ordered my dress at the 6 month mark.  I was 37, 5'10" and a size 20.  I had great luck with Maggie Sottero gowns.  I was brutally honest with every salon I went to - I was looking for a dress that made me feel like the best possible me - not some 22 year old size 4 bride.  I picked a couple things I wanted (not poofy, not heavy) and features I wanted to highlight - my height and shoulders, and what needed some help - my lack of waist.  I never had the tears and a "this is it" moment - but I loved my dress and knew I would be happy wearing it.  GOOD LUCK!

EastSideBlonde

i have tried almost all the local places - and i do call first at tell them... AA had the best selection and i am leaning to there disney dresses - i walked out of davids because i went on a Sat and it was too crazy went back to a diffrent location this week and found one dress - I do have a nice shape and want to show it off... here is one set of pics - i would change the dresses to Ivory... i like each one but then find something wrong with each as well 

EastSideBlonde

Oh and thank you in my mind i know all this but at times it all gets to me and i need to get back on reality track and love me more

becka717

You look great in all three of those!  I like the middle one the best.  Have you mentioned to the associate what you like and dislike about each dress?  They might know of a dress with the beading of A, the skirt of B and the top of C or some such.And yes, David's can be extremely hectic.

jbrook12

You have plenty of time to get a dress. Try not to stress over it. I have planned my whole wedding in 8 months so you can get a dress. Just go in with an open mind and try on all different types of dress. You may be surprised but you like and don't like on you. Also keep in mind that the dresses generally run smaller so don't get caught up on the number on the tag. Good luck!

EastSideBlonde

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_plus-sized_8-months-to-go-and-still-no-dress-scared-and-dont-know-what-to-do?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:973cdc6f-961e-4fb0-a628-bef2bb559697Discussion:d0b0df25-9e08-40aa-9023-9e8c6937325ePost:f914b47e-e31d-4de3-8015-aee02dbcc488">Re: 8 months to go and still no dress :( Scared and dont know what to do...</a>:
[QUOTE]You look great in all three of those!  I like the middle one the best.  Have you mentioned to the associate what you like and dislike about each dress?  They might know of a dress with the beading of A, the skirt of B and the top of C or some such.And yes, David's can be extremely hectic.
Posted by becka717[/QUOTE]

Ok so all three of them are AA...and the combo you said is what i would love lol
 does anyone know if you can mix and match within the disney line? I

becka717

I don't if AA will do that.  It's probably worth asking at least.  And then there are lots of ways to accessorize or alter the dress, depending on exactly what you are looking for.  You could probably alter the neck line a bit, you could always add sequins or other bling to the top.  You can adjust the fullness of the skirt.

renjon7798

I think the middle dress is stunning on you!

timsflower81

The first dress is really pretty on you... if you dont feel that is "it" - try on some more dresses.... you'll find it!!

dubird

What you might consider is a two-part dress with bodice and skirt.  I won't suggest a corset because unless you're used to it, it can be tiring to wear, but a corset-like bodice that laces in the back can be adjusted as needed, and helps drop the waist and slim a ltitle.  Then, you can pair it with whatever kind of skirt you want.  I'm doing mine where the skirt fits under the bodice with a sash over it, but there's lots of ways you can do it.

As for the pictures, I like the second one best on you, but I'm a fan of simpler designs and that's got a nice classic look to it.  ^_^

EastSideBlonde

thank you.. do you know where to find the Two Part dresses - i tried google but I got all these blogs....
 
Right now i am leaning to the second dress, i like the first one a lot but it is a little rough under my arms and dont want to be red and scratched up - if it was softer i would go with one...
Thank you ladies

KJeffs

If you love the first one but it rubs on your arm's have then add a pice of soft sheer cloth just under your arms..it helps a Lot!!!