ceremony

joellennitsche

hi all- i just wanted to get your opinions on what i should do for my ceremony. i come from a catholic family and my fiance does not have a specific religion.  even though my parents havent said anything i know they would like me to get married in my church in portland- this seems really inconvienent and out of the way of my reception, which is in new gloucester.  i also dont want to push a church ceremony on my fiance because he is not catholic. & do not want to make him go to the counciling sessions (cause i know he would not be a fan, haha)  i would like to have everything right in once place- and my reception barn has a huge amount of land that i could have the ceremony at.  let me know your opinions on this!

redsoxgirl09

We are running into the same issue as I am catholic and he is not. I think it really depends on what the two of you want. It is your day. We have decided not to do ours in a church as it is not us. Good luck.

hcorr34

If getting married in the church, and the process that goes with it, will make your FI unhappy or uncomfortable, and you are okay with not getting married in the church, then I say have it at your reception location.  Be open and honest with your parents.  Hopefully if they've accepted your FI, then they've accepted that he has different religious views and won't try to force him into their beliefs.

I have no idea what your FI's background is, but I know my cousin had to jump through a lot of hoops to be married in a catholic church (the girl he was marrying was catholic), including converting, being baptized, etc. 

Having everything in one location definitely has many benefits too!

ce827

You know I struggled with this as well. Both me and my FI are catholic,however he was never confirmed and isnt really involved in the church. I am not either. I am getting married in 2 months! at the Immaculate Conception Cathedral in Portland. Since we are not from Portland, it was a little harder to marry there.  Some churches just dont let you marry whereever you want.  You have some have some purpose behind it.  We eventually went to put down some roots in Portland so that was our reason. 

The pre-cana classes were interesting.  I dont necessarily subscribe to all of the ideals that were presented since im very liberal and believe marriage is not just between a man and woman.  But aside from stuffing some ideals down your throat for 2 or 3 mins at a time..It was actually really nice to get back to the basics about why you are making this commitment to one another. 

Its so easy to get lost in the details and miss the big picture. So, I know it does take a few meetings with a father, a precana course and some f/up to get married but I feel like it was well worth it.  I feel like it gave me a better understanding of WHY i am getting married and WHO i picked to share my life with.  and HOW do we approach issues, finances, and other life lessons that will pop in throughout our marriage. 

I think that if your FI isn't catholic and has no intention of becoming or raising your children catholic then you shouldn't get married in a catholic church.  And if saw yourself always getting married in a church, talk to him about it and see how he feels about another type of church?  There are so many beautiful places to get married that aren't in a church.  Its so hard deciding!  

joellennitsche

thank you all for your advice!! it is a hard decision but i am leaning to just doing everything where my venue is.  after all it is MY day and i know my parents will respect my wishes whether it be in a church or not.

nikkay19

I too thought about this. My familes' church is in Portland, Cathedreal in downtown Portland. I would suggest, if your family does not mind, look into catholic churchs around New glouscter. Auburn, Freeport, Gray. There are a lot of them around there. Also, as far as I know, your future Hubby doesn't need to go to the classes, I think only you do. Not sure though.

joellennitsche

cathedral in portland is my church too! i know if you want to get married in a catholic church you are your spouse have to go to pre marital counciling.

jmconley08

Well.. I am catholic and went to catholic schools most of my life. FI is Catholic too. I am, however, not getting married in a Catholic church. My views of Catholicism has changed quite a bit lately anyways. Parents will be ok with it I think. Good luck

LittleRandall

I am catholic to. My fiancé has no specific religion either. I did look into chapels as another option. There is the Bates chapel in Lewiston but, I was told they are going under construction. I couldn’t get an answer if it would be available in 2013 because they don’t know the date of when the construction is starting. I was told about the Poland Spring Chapel and looked into that. You could try seeing if that is available. I think that it is your day and I think your family would understand considering the situation. I didn’t even ask my fiancé if he would convert or do what ever it is that he or we would have to do to marry in a catholic church. We decided to have the ceremony right outside where our reception is. I don’t see any problem with you guys doing it that way. It is your day and it should be the way you both want it to be. Good Luck