Bar?

moushi1579

I'm just curious about what everyone is doing (or did) for their bar situation? On most of the other boards, people talk about how it's only "acceptable wedding ettiquette" to have a completely open bar. What do you all think?

fickrj5

We have decided to do open bar during the cocktail hour, and will probably due a specific wine and beer free for the night, otherwise everything else will be cash once the meal has begun.

kristin18k

Open bar for the entire night.  We're having the event at a non-restaurant location so we have the ability to control what alcohol our caterer brings in which helps with the cost.  I know everyone has their own thoughts on the matter, which I repsect, but I personally felt that my guests should not have to pay for anything at the event.

MiniMin20

Personally, I've never been to a wedding with an open bar here in Maine (or in Mass.), so I was surprised it was considered rude. In other parts of the country, a cash bar might be more unusual, but I have no idea.

I think what you do depends on your budget, your venue and your crowd. Our venue won't even let us have an open bar all night, to discourage people from getting dangerously drunk, and I know we'd have friends who would abuse it and end up too trashed for their own good. Since none of my family members and friends have had open bar weddings, I know they'll expect and be cool with having to pay for some drinks.

We'll probably have free beer and wine during the cocktail hour, but haven't figured out how to do this without it becoming incredibly expensive (see aforementioned friends abusing it...).

kkchisholm

completely cash bar. I have never been to a wedding with an open bar, except once where just the cocktail hour was open bar... which I think can be worse because people are taken by suprise when they go to get a drink after dinner and the bartender says "3.50 please"

kateinater

I have yet to be at a wedding where it was an open bar.  I think it totally depends on your situation.  I defiantly never felt it was rude, some people who get married, just can't afford to pay for everyone to drink all night.  My reception site (same as Minimin)  does not allow for an open bar all night. I will have bottles  of wine on the table and might do free beer for as long as it's possible. 

mlhw-nh

We are doing a cash bar.  I have only been to one wedding with an open bar in PA.  That wedding was by far one of the more luxurious weddings that I have been to.  We have many family members who would and did abuse the open bar at the PA wedding. For us it came down to that 1.)we just can't afford open bar and  2.) we want to discourage over indulgence in the alcohol department.  My family and friends will all be aware that it is a cash bar. 

MollySm

We are having a backyard reception, so I know that makes it cheaper.  We'll have beer, wine and probably 2 signature drinks.  I have been to cash bar weddings, open bar weddings, and a dry wedding.  I always think it's a bit strange that people on the knot are so against cash bars.  I'd much rather have that then no alcohol (if it's for budget reasons, not for personal reasons).  

chayer227

We set aside a calculated amount of money, which we expected would last for wine and beer during cocktail "hour" for all guests and another tab for the wedding party all night.  DH was insanely worried about what his friends would think if we didn't have some form of open bar.  Somehow, the allotted amount for all guests lasted the vast majority of the night, which shocked us, considering the number of very heavy drinkers on our guest list.

The very next weekend, we attended a wedding with most of the same friends on DH's side.  This wedding was 100% cash bar (and fairly expensive drinks), and the guys drank heavily all night, paying for full rounds at a time, without batting an eye.

lashley1024

We are doing open bar for the cocktail hour, wine with dinner, and open beer/wine for the reception. Our concern was that the place we are having it (Kingsley Pines) allows guests to BYOB for the weekend, but they cannot bring their alcohol into the area that is being catered as it is a liability. We didn't want people (especially the younger guests) sneaking back to their cabins and smuggling in their own drinks.

I think it really depends on your financial situation as well as what your venue will allow. Having one signature drink open for the entire night seems to be a nice way to serve your guests complimentary drinks without breaking the bank.

mainemommy

BYOB & I dont care how rude or tacky it is. Our hall has no bar. & every single reception we've been to there has been byob. My family & all of our friends expect this & I've told FMIL to spread the word to Fi's side of the family because they arent local.
We are getting a few kegs to share though, we're having a very casual reception & kegs will be appreciated by the guests.

mikell22

We have a tight budget too, but consider it rude to make people pay for anything when they are invited guests.  Consider at least beer and wine, I know that can cut down the cost.  It is expenisve, but worth it if it is a priority to you for your guests to feel welcome.  I have only been to one wedding with a cash bar and it was quite tacky.  But everyone has different views on these things and a bar will add a few thousand dollars to your tab.  But is was very important to us to offer a fun and welcoming experience to our guests.