Maine

UGH

So I think I may have mentioned in the past that my guest list is getting out of control. My venue can accommodate "around 100" people. My original guest list was 105 people and figuring on at least a 10% regret rate, I thought we'd be all set. Well, after booking the venue I was informed that it would cause lots of hard feelings if I didn't invite my step siblings who I don't have a particularly close relationship with and since there are 6 of them, all of whom are married and several of whom have adult children, that added 15 people to my list. Then my FI's grandmother called my FMIL demanding to know why her sister and brother in law hadn't gotten an invitation... FI had agreed that we could eliminate great aunts/uncles, second cousins, distant relatives that he hadn't seen in years from the list, but now FMIL agrees with her mother that it would be rude not to invite them, especially since her mother has now told them that she'd make sure they got an invite. Seriously? To add to that, FI's only single groomsman told him today that he had used our wedding as an excuse to ask one of his coworkers on a date. Another GM called today and said that a really close friend of FI's from high school who neither of them has seen or heard from in 2 years just moved back to the area, heard through the grapevine about the wedding, and offered to host FI's bachelor party at his parents' lake house... he wasn't going to be invited to the wedding, but he can't exactly host the bachelor party and not get an invite... Due to these and several other similar situations, my guest list has grown to 130 people. If more than 110 people actually come, there simply will not be room for everyone. Period. FML.

Re: UGH

  • edited December 2011
    What is it about a wedding invitation that turns little old ladies into bullies??!? And why do people invite guests WITHOUT ASKING first?!?Can anyone explain to these people that it is just not possible? There is no room? Not no room in the budget, but no physical space for them?When is your RSVP date? Can you wait until some people say they can't come and THEN invite a B list? Are there any guests whom you're pretty sure won't come?We just invited 3 of FI's cousins and one of his friends because we just couldn't do it originally when the list was first made up...We had a ton of people RSVP no when I thought they would come (this economy may end up helping you in the long run!)...Good luck and keep us posted!
    "Once the realization is accepted that even between the closest human beings infinite distances continue, a wonderful living side by side can grow, if they succeed in loving the distance between them which makes it possible for each to see the other whole against the sky." -- Ranier Maria Rilke BabyFruit Ticker image Me:37 MH:38 TTC since Oct 2011 BFP/Beta#1: 13 6/20/12; Beta#2: 20 6/22/12; MC/Beta#3: 9 6/27/12 BFP#2/Beta#1: 9/21/12 S/PAIFW
  • edited December 2011
    Fortunately as I was sending out invites I realized that there are quite a few people that I'm not sure will be able to attend. The problem is it could really go either way because my family members love weddings and they usually make a point of attending them if it's at all possible. FI has some relatives who live in OH that I have a feeling won't attend, but I'm not certain of that. I'm going to try not to freak out until the RSVPs come in and I see for sure what I'm working with, but I just had to vent today because it was all today that I found out that FI's GM was bringing a date, FI's old friend from HS had resurfaced, and FI's grandmother had her knickers in a twist about her sister and brother in law not getting an invite. At this point all the invites have been sent out except for those people I found out about today. FI's grandmother is the sweetest little old lady and she doesn't mean anything by this, but she would be extremely offended if she thought we intentionally didn't invite her sister, she assumed that their invite just "got lost in the mail" or something innocent like that and FI's mom was really embarrassed that she hadn't fought to keep hese people on our original guest list and didn't have the heart (nerve?) to tell her they weren't invited. She's the one who has been giving me the hardest time about how much trouble we're going to be in if we don't get enough regrets so I really can't see any way out of that one. FI thinks his GM may change his plans regarding his date by the time the wedding actually rolls around, but there's just no way we can not invite the friend who hosts his bachelor party.I'm just keeping my fingers crossed that the regrets start rolling in!!
  • edited December 2011
    Argh!  Why don't people realize if they are not the bride or groom, they should not invite people to the wedding!  I'd have been so annoyed yesterday!  You can understand making exceptions for all those guests but nevertheless, the numbers add up.  You're right not to seriously stress until you start getting too many accepts instead of regrets.  It's hard to predict how many people will actually accept.  We had so many people decline last minute because of a change in our county's school schedule, unexpected surgeries, etc.Meanwhile, on a look on the brightside note, at least you got to invite your friends and they'll be there with you.  My friend recently e-mailed me and some other friends to explain his wedding situation.  He's getting married in two weeks and they will have 200 people at the wedding.  His FI got half the guests and he got the other half.  His parents are paying for half the wedding.  They gave him a guest list that was 120 people long!  And 96 of them are coming.  He could only invite 4 of his own friends to his wedding and it was last minute.  I feel so sorry for him (although, on the one hand, even if my parents were paying for half the wedding, there is no way I would agree to their dictating my guest list to such a degree). 
  • JaimeMarieBJaimeMarieB member
    Sixth Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    That sucks Liza. I had 195 or so on my guest list and 120 showed.
  • edited December 2011
    Jaime that's encouraging!! I actually came home last night to my first 3 RSVPs and FI's aunt and uncle are not bringing their 3 teenagers. I was sure they'd come, so that's 3 down right there. Although I have to admit I'm kind of disappointed that at least the oldest one isn't coming. Oh well, at this point I can't afford to be sad about regrets!
  • JaimeMarieBJaimeMarieB member
    Sixth Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    So you are down three woooooohooooooooo. haha (ps sorry about large picture. I need to go fix that)
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards