Maine

Anyone else hate drama? (vent)

Ugh! I don't know if anyone remembers my "aunt" from previous posts, but she seems to be rearing her ugly head again and doesn't want to go down peacefully. Just around the time of my sister's wedding 7 years ago, my aunt and I had a falling out. She was being her usual, self-centered, obnoxious self and wouldn't apologize for the way she treated me the weekend of my sister's shower. So I told my father (it's his sister; he's 12 years older than her) that I could no longer deal with her anymore and I was sorry, but I just didn't want to visit with her anymore. He accepted that and made a special trip to explain to his sister how she had finally managed to alienate all the women in my dad's family (my mother and sister had given up on her YEARS earlier, as had my other aunt). On my grandmother's deathbed, 3 years ago, my grandmother finally told her daughter to get the hell out and leave her alone (we'd been waiting forever for that to happen-- yes, my aunt really is just that horrid to people who try to love her). My grandmother put up with more crap from this woman than I'd ever imagine possible. But even after 50+ years, she had had enough.About 3 months ago, my aunt asked my dad if he thought it was possible for her to return to the family. He sat down with my sister and me (we didn't even bother to include my mom) and discussed it. After asking the crucial question of my dad "Do you think there's hope she'll ever change?" my dad said no. And he admitted that the only reason he even deals with her himself (despite how much she idolizes him), is out of respect for their mother. Sooo..... my cousin (my aunt's oldest son, who has pretended to be asleep in the past to avoid dealing with his mother), text messaged me yesterday to ask if he could talk to me today about the wedding and the conversation we all had recently about his mom.He hasn't called me today, so I have no idea what's going on and therefore may be jumping to conclusions, but if my aunt--after promising not to put my cousins in the middle of this-- has made him feel obligated to choose between my wedding and her (I haven't invited her obviously), I am going to lose my sh*t. Seriously. What the heck?!? Why would you even WANT to come to my wedding if you've accused me of being mentally unstable?!? Why would you mess with your family-- and then think you could claim that you're above reproach for any wrongdoing?!?AUGHHHH!!!!I hate drama. I hate immaturity. I do not suffer fools gladly. I have no patience for this. I'm not my grandmother. *sigh*
"Once the realization is accepted that even between the closest human beings infinite distances continue, a wonderful living side by side can grow, if they succeed in loving the distance between them which makes it possible for each to see the other whole against the sky." -- Ranier Maria Rilke BabyFruit Ticker image Me:37 MH:38 TTC since Oct 2011 BFP/Beta#1: 13 6/20/12; Beta#2: 20 6/22/12; MC/Beta#3: 9 6/27/12 BFP#2/Beta#1: 9/21/12 S/PAIFW

Re: Anyone else hate drama? (vent)

  • edited December 2011
    I know what you mean about difficult relatives!  My dad deserves sainthood for putting up with his mother and brother.  His ONE request for the wedding was that I not invite them because they are very similar to the aunt you describe.  I'm so sorry if your aunt is putting your cousin in the middle and that you have to deal with her so close to your wedding.  It's no fun to deal with that sort of unecessary stress and discomfort.  :-(  How did your conversation with your cousin go last night?
  • edited December 2011
    He hasn't called, still! Can you believe that? Why would you text someone saying you need to talk to them and then not call when you say you're going to? So now I have this hanging over my head--AND I don't have his RSVP!I'm so annoyed...
    "Once the realization is accepted that even between the closest human beings infinite distances continue, a wonderful living side by side can grow, if they succeed in loving the distance between them which makes it possible for each to see the other whole against the sky." -- Ranier Maria Rilke BabyFruit Ticker image Me:37 MH:38 TTC since Oct 2011 BFP/Beta#1: 13 6/20/12; Beta#2: 20 6/22/12; MC/Beta#3: 9 6/27/12 BFP#2/Beta#1: 9/21/12 S/PAIFW
  • edited December 2011
    GRRR!  I hate it when people imply they need to have a SERIOUS conversation and then drag it out.  Ugh.  It's not fun, it's not productive and it can easily blow a situation out of proportion.  So sorry your cousin is being stinky!  I hope he calls you today.
  • edited December 2011
    I so feel your frustation. My Dad and I were always super close until a couple years ago. He has a new girfriend and she has managed to completely push me out. I have only spoken to my Dad 3 times since Christmas and when I asked him if this was how things were going to remain he said as long as I continued to not accept Pam as family then Yes he would not be involved with me.....WOW It wasn't me who pushed anyone out. But whatever, I love my Dad dearly but will NOT allow him or her bring me down. I will invite them to the wedding but don't expect they will show up at this point. When I first got engaged I was torn between having my Dad walk me down the aisle or my son....guess its a nobrainer now lol Anyways I know how much drama sucks but try not to let it get to you too much your day is too important to let a difficult person mess it up....GL
  • edited December 2011
    I'm so sorry you're dealing with this Daniele! When I first saw your post I thought it would be about the kind of drama I've had to put up with (bridesmaids who couldn't agree on dresses and who fought over my shower and bachelorette party plans) but this is much worse! I don't have much drama like that in my family, but I do have an evil stepmother who has treated me horribly my whole life and even had the nerve to tell me off once about how I thought I was "too good" for her and her family. Now I just have to put on a happy face and pretend that I tolerate her for the sake of my dad.That doesn't even come close to comparing to what you're dealing with though. Let us know how it turns out!
  • edited December 2011
    Well you all are saints compared to me, then! I think evil stepmothers trump a crappy aunt any day of the week and twice on Sunday!At least I know my cousin isn't being malicious or selfish-- he's just stuck in a tough place because his mom is a first-rate witch! And that's no fault of his...I've decided that if I don't hear from him by tomorrow evening, I'm going to call him and leave him a voicemail that basically says "we can talk about this issue of your mom later, but I need to know your RSVP status by Friday at noon. If I don't hear from you by then, I'm going to tell the reception venue that you're not coming."And then it's all up to him. His choice. Now if I could just find his brother's phone number, I could say the same thing to him...
    "Once the realization is accepted that even between the closest human beings infinite distances continue, a wonderful living side by side can grow, if they succeed in loving the distance between them which makes it possible for each to see the other whole against the sky." -- Ranier Maria Rilke BabyFruit Ticker image Me:37 MH:38 TTC since Oct 2011 BFP/Beta#1: 13 6/20/12; Beta#2: 20 6/22/12; MC/Beta#3: 9 6/27/12 BFP#2/Beta#1: 9/21/12 S/PAIFW
  • JaimeMarieBJaimeMarieB member
    Sixth Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    So what happened?
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards