trying to get invites in mail....HELP!!

mleland84

Hi, I need HELP! I'm getting married Sept 27, 2009, I'm trying to get my invites in the mail by Friday and I'm putting an insert in giving directions to church and reception along with where we are registering. We have a new home and really need big things, like furniture and rugs and kitchen table, etc...my question: is there a tactful way to ask for money from guests to buy things for our home, or is this completely out of the question?any help will do! Thanks!

danieleandwayne

We are in a somewhat similar position because we're 35 and don't need a lot of stuff, but would rather have money to save for a house. It is considered very tactless to put any mention of this in the invites, so what we did is have my sister put on the shower invites "limited registry at "X"; please feel call MOH with any questions" and had everything done by word of mouth. My mom, my grandmother, aunt, close friends, bridesmaids, etc. were told to spread the word tactfully "I know they're trying to save up for a house..." Also, we put on our wedding web site (link included in the invites) in the "Registry" section something similar to "We know that so many guests are coming from out of town, so we really feel that 'their presence is present enough' and because we're older and have most of what we need already (except a house!), we have only a limited registry." If you want to see the actual quote, just go to www.cotebucar.com (link is in my signature)....Good luck!

chayer227

Any registry information/gift suggestions go with shower invitations, not EVER with wedding invitations.  As far as having a preference towards money, get word-of-mouth going, I don't believe it's proper etiquette to ask for cash directly in any way. 

jgreg29

I would agree that word of mouth is the best way to go. Also, as Daniele suggested, if you have a wedding website you can indicate that you only have a limited registry or haven't registered. A number of people will probably get the hint and give money.

angeliza

I'm just going to go ahead and agree with everyone else. DO NOT put any info about your registry or any hints or suggestions of what you want in your invitations. That is one of the biggest etiquette faux pas you can commit. Like everyone else has said, just tell both sets of parents and your bridal party that if anyone asks them, they can say that you really don't need much and that you're saving up for something specific. That being said, what kinds of things are you looking for for your home? I'd be willing to bet you could find a store where you could register for whatever it is. If you do have a registry, the way to spread the word about that is to put it in the shower invitations and let your parents and bridal party know so they can spread the word.

jaimebeth9

Sorry, there is no tactful way to ask for money or any other gift.  Technically a wedding/reception is not considered a gift-giving event.  (Although most, but not all, choose to give a gift).The reception you throw is actually a THANK YOU to your guests for witnessing your wedding.  Which is why us brides go through all the trouble of being a gracious host and doing everything possible to ensure our guests have a great time...because we are thanking them.

mleland84

Thanks for all the advice!