hiring family??

Runnersmf

Ok, so I've been looking at photographers and have set up a few appointments. However, my cousin is a photographer (she went to school for it and has been doing weddings for a few years). She's offered to be our photographer, and would only charge us for the album. It's an EXTREMELY generous offer!! She says that she doesn't mind not being a guest and says that she will still have a great time. This has become a big issue for us. I still think that she should come as a guest, and not have to work at our wedding. On top of that if I don't like her work (not saying that I won't, but there's always a chance) I'll be mad at my cousin and not just a photographer. My FI thinks I'm being unrealistic and should book my cousin. My parents also think I'm overlooking a generous offer and could spend the money on other items. I don't know what to do?? Would you hire your family??

angeliza

I hired my aunt to cater my wedding. If I had it all to do over, I'd still do it again because the food at my wedding was absolutely to die for. I've never had wedding food like my aunt made and I've rarely had food as good at restaurants. That being said... it's a really tough thing. I'm pretty sure by the time the wedding actually started my aunt wanted to kill my mom and I because we all have such different personalities and there were some power struggles and a lot of head butting. I don't think you'd have those kinds of problems with a relative being your photographer. My aunt kind of had this opinion that since she was doing the food, she had to be in control of the room set up, the table set ups, the centerpieces, etc. because she seemed to think all those things would reflect on her. Like you mentioned though, if you don't like your wedding photos for whatever reason, that could end up being a sore spot. Photography was one of the most important things to me, so the only way I would have left that to a family member is if that family member was the absolute best photographer I've ever seen. But if you're not as photography obsessed as me, it is a really great way to cut costs. My photography was the most expensive aspect of my wedding.

danieleandwayne

Two things-- have you seen your cousin's portfolio? Would she be insulted if you asked her to look at some of the previous weddings she's done? Then you'd know if you like her perspective...I had my friend do my photos. I was really careful to ask him in a way that allowed him to say no. I kept pushing him to make sure he had a good time, to only take the formal photos, etc. But he actually really enjoyed himself because he loves to take photos and find cool shots. He was really happy to do it. My father ALSO took photos. He was crestfallen when he heard I had asked my friend to take photos, because photography is a hobby of his. But I had to point out to him that I had no problem with him taking photos, but that obviously, I wanted photos of him so he couldn't be the ONLY one taking photos. And, my friend has the same perspective and eye, so their photos will jive well when I want to make an album and I knew I would like their shots.The only downfall is that I can't harass my friend to give me the photos sooner! He has another job, so I have to be patient and wait for him to finish getting the photos tweaked!I hope that was helpful?!

mainezilla

Honestly, NO! I looked into having family help me with th decor/flowers/invites and became way too stressful a year out before the wedding. I felt like I was hurting their feelings w/ my suggestions/comments and I certainly didn't want to compromise b/c they were family, I wanted them to be a "vendor" when I was talking to them about my expectations/and thoughts. I agree unless your cousin is the best photographer you have ever seen, than no, let them be a guest and enjoy themselves. What if you hate the photos, you will never get another chance for wedding photos!! You could be at Thanksgiving 15 years from now and still be upset sitting across the table from them being upset and they have no idea. Can you let them take engagement photos, go from there? Or just gently explain that you really apprecaite their offer, but just would prefer they attend as a guest vs a vendor...

jgreg29

IMO, whether you use family as a vendor depends on how you answer a couple of questions for yourself: 1) How important is this vendor to you? 2) Do you KNOW the family member can do a job you'll be happy with? 3) How "guilty" will you feel that this family member is working your wedding? If you can comfortably answer these questions, then you'll probably be fine. But if any raise reservations in your mind, I'd reconsider. Family relationships last the rest of your life and you don't want to strain them just because someone has made a generous offer. If you feel strongly that your cousin should be a guest, follow your instincts! You must feel that way for a good reason.

kev'sbride

My aunt is a photographer and did our photos (and is doing our album) as her gift to us.  I have always loved her work and have always felt comfortable when she has taken photos.  We also have a good friend of the family who has gotten in photography (and has won awards)...They both took photos and I couldn't be happier with how the photos turned out. with that said, I can understand your hesitation (as well as anyone's hesitation as everyone's situation is different) to have your cousin as the photographer.  If you choose to hire a photographer vs. your cousin, maybe your cousin would be willing to do some of the photography?  Photographers all have different styles and your cousin might take some fun photos of other family members that a hired photographer might miss

Runnersmf

I have seen her work and it is really nice. But these are my wedding photos!! You know?? I want the best I can get, but at the same time I do have a limited budget, that I worry won't be enough. I really want the best photo's I can get. Which was why I was going to tell her to have a good time, and to take photos when she wants. Like it was said before she could capture all the moments the other photographer missed. However, she wrote me an e-mail again this week stating how much she would love to do our photo's. I feel like there's no good answer to this situation.

MiniMin20

This is definitely a tough situation. If money really is your issue, maybe go over your budget again and decide whether or not you can afford any of the photographers you're looking at, and if not, go with your cousin if you think her photos are good.Doing business with family can be a tricky thing. Some people really want family to be involved like this and aren't worried about family members exerting too much control.I know personally I would be bad at being able to talk to a family member like a vendor -- I wouldn't be able to speak out if I didn't like something or wanted it done a certain way if it were a family member. So, I think you have to think about your own personality and if you'll be able to be up front with your cousin.

Runnersmf

So after much discussion, and a few meetings with photographers we have made our decision!! We are going with Roxanne Ashey. I talked to my cousin and she was very understanding and didn't take anything personally. She even said that she was happy for us. So after all this stress and worrying everything worked out perfectly.

MiniMin20

Glad it all worked out!