Maine

guest list vent

So our target guest list is 150.  I have a very large family and feel i did a good job only inviting those I am truley close to (or obligated by family) my finace on the other hand has invited everyone who has ever crossed a path in his life (seriously!) our guest list is still at 213 even after cutting.  Our save the dates are going out next week and Im scared we are going to end upi wth way too many people!!! I wish I knew how many would actually show up... And is there any argument I havent tried on my fiance? ???

Re: guest list vent

  • edited December 2011
    Ugh, that's annoying! I think it's risky to bet that a lot of people won't come, because what if they do? If money doesn't sway your fiance, maybe you can tell him that with that many people, you'll never get to talk to everyone, and if you get closer to 150, he'll get more time to hang with his friends and the family he really wants to see, instead of having to spend time making small talk with people he doesn't know very well. If he sees it as having to choose between good quality fun time with his buddies over keeping great aunt Susie happy, maybe that will help him whittle the list down?You could also just send save the dates to the people you know you're going to invite and out of town people, and then if you get a lot of people saying they won't be able to make it, send invites to the others. Or have an A list and B list guest list when you send out the invitations, and if a bunch of A people can't make it, invite some of the B people. I have no idea how well this works out in real life, but I've heard of people doing it.If FI is afraid of not inviting people because he doesn't want them to be hurt, or upset his parents, maybe sit down and talk with them about whether it's okay not to include second cousins or whatever. I was feeling obligated to invite certain family members, but my parents reassured me that it was okay not to, so I felt better and was able to trim the list down.Good luck!
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  • edited December 2011
    Sistah I feel your pain!! I on the other hand have a very small family and have still only invited those that I am really close too. My fiance has a very large family and probably 15-20 that are invited he only sees once if that a year. We have a lot of friends that we are inviting because selfishly I want a lot of people to dance and stay later than for dinner. I get resentfull because I have 50 people that I have invited and hase 70 (only family for both). Personally I think he should cut down a few, but we are hoping because of other events that a certain group of people wont show up. Just to clarify, JamieBeth is my future cousin in law and no jamie I dont mean you, your parents or sister, haha you guys better show up!!!!! I know this is a continuing struggle for us, but good luck to you. I was able to say to the FI that he didnt need to invited the kids of a family friend just because its family, so I was able to cut about 6-8 people from the list.Good Luck darling, you will have a wonderful day irregardless.
  • mainemommymainemommy member
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Ohhhh the guestlist. I just need to tell you that the other day I was over the moon happy that I got my number down to 265! Its a dream of mine to have it around 150 but Im not seeing that happening. So just be glad you dont have 265. =) I hope it gets easier for you.
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  • edited December 2011
    We had so so so many headaches over the guest list!! We had a very small venue that could only accommodate about 100 people comfortably. We made our guest list as small as we possibly could and came up with 105 people. We showed this list to our parents and everyone seemed to think we'd included everyone that we absolutely HAD to invite. When it was time to send out invitations though, all of a sudden it was like "oh, how could we forget about so and so??" and our list went up to around 140. I ended up with only 105 at the wedding (thank GOD) because of 8 very very last minute cancellations, but we also had several guests who RSVP'd with a plus 1. It's such a freakin' headache and so much money to play around with. I don't have any advice, but good luck with this one. I feel your pain.
  • JaimeMarieBJaimeMarieB member
    Sixth Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We invited 198 or so and had 120 show up.
  • krisdoug13krisdoug13 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I feel your pain!! Both of our families are huge...making the guest list over 100 with just family members.  So, his mom's side is insanely huge...and actually he doesn't know most of him and they are never there during family events.  They actually had a family reunion this summer and it was just the same small group that's always at the family events.  So to the two of us we don't want to invite them, but his mom wasn't too happy when we told her that.  She said they're just as much her family as the rest; which is true but they've never been a part of his life, why would they all of a sudden start now?  They didn't go to his sister's wedding a couple of summers either.  So instead we'll end up having to invite them and skip on inviting people that are more likely to come and that we actually want there in the odd chance they actually show.  I'd say send out STDs just to the definites...like your families.  And people that would have to make travel plans.  This way you could 1. save money and 2. get more time for him to see that it is not necessary to invite that kid he was friends with in the 7th grade but hasn't talked to since.
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