Ceremony Idea:Personal Contracts?

acg335

So forever ago I saw this couple who had decided to write their own 'contract' for their marriage. The had written it ahead of time, with 10 or so guidelines/ruleswhat have you for each of them (things they were supposed to do, say, remember, etc), and they each signed their contract during the ceremony. But, I cant find this wedding again! I was hoping to find it to get some idea of the things they wrote... And I can't find anyone else who has done this before!

Any thoughts or suggestions? Do you know of anyone who has done this before? Thanks!

mlg78

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_ceremony-ideapersonal-contracts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:1a2dae8a-7bb4-4a45-bedf-b9bb27ce25bbPost:ea8c6bd3-addb-4159-b19c-21609965c6d8">Ceremony Idea:Personal Contracts?</a>:
[QUOTE]So forever ago I saw this couple who had decided to write their own 'contract' for their marriage. The had written it ahead of time, with 10 or so guidelines/ruleswhat have you for each of them (things they were supposed to do, say, remember, etc), and they each signed their contract during the ceremony. But, I cant find this wedding again! I was hoping to find it to get some idea of the things they wrote... And I can't find anyone else who has done this before! Any thoughts or suggestions? Do you know of anyone who has done this before? Thanks!
Posted by magross[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Oh boy...I actually had to do this for one of my college classes (I'm a social worker).  Given that I graduated nearly 11 years ago, I'm rusty on what the topics were...  I did some googling and I'd check out "love contracts"...there are better leads when doing that.  Good luck!

</div>

acg335

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_ceremony-ideapersonal-contracts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:1a2dae8a-7bb4-4a45-bedf-b9bb27ce25bbPost:64d2f954-e70f-4d6d-a9fa-e4f187319ce6">Re: Ceremony Idea:Personal Contracts?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Ceremony Idea:Personal Contracts? : Oh boy...I actually had to do this for one of my college classes (I'm a social worker).  Given that I graduated nearly 11 years ago, I'm rusty on what the topics were...  I did some googling and I'd check out "love contracts"...there are better leads when doing that.  Good luck!
Posted by mlg78[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>
awesome! I'll definitely check that! Thanks! :)</div>

KatWAG

So you are basically creating your own legally non binding "love" pre-nup?

Coghoot12

I will folllow up Kat's post with some confusion of my own.

I guess I don't understand the purpose of this.

You can write your own vows and make that as personal as you would like.  But as a wedding guest, if the bride and groom started reading a list of "rules" to each other then we watched them sign acknowledgement of reciept of these rules, it would be really awkward and uncomfortable.  I would feel like I was sitting in a lawyer's office for a pre-nup signing instead of a wedding ceremony.

What do you intend to do with these contracts? Pull them out when you are in an argument and point out that the other is violating one of those rules?

I feel like this is a classic example of something that your friends and family will say "oh, that's cute" to your face but behind your back will be side-eyeing it if you do this in your ceremony.  That's what internet strangers are for.

AdeleDazeem

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_ceremony-ideapersonal-contracts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:1a2dae8a-7bb4-4a45-bedf-b9bb27ce25bbPost:47195253-5d04-4d95-87e2-6f75fb39f230">Re: Ceremony Idea:Personal Contracts?</a>:
[QUOTE]So you are basically creating your own legally non binding "love" pre-nup?
Posted by KatWAG[/QUOTE]

A marriage is a contract that you both agree to when you sign the license.  You agree to share property and assets, you are then recognized by the law and all the perks that go along with it, etc.  This is just an extension of that.  It's not a prenup at all.

Would I personally do it?  No.  I was fine with just saying my vows.  But, if they like this idea, then they should go for it.

KatWAG

I guess you didn't catch my sarcasm font. 

 And actually, no. Marriage has nothing to do with sharing property or assets. Anyone can do that. Marriage is an institution, a social union. Many Many couples choice to get married and keep complete separate finances.

My point is that I don't see a point in this. To me, open communication in a relationship should be enough to figure out who is responsible for what and eachothers needs. There are also no percussions for breaking a rule.

sarah_goodrum

It kind of seems like the couple you're talking about wrote their own vows and then printed them out and signed them at the ceremony. Since the vows themselves are a form of verbal contract (made legal by the signing of the marriage license) this seems redundant. While it might be a nice (and possibly helpful) memento to have your vows signed, dated and framed - I feel that coghoot is right, calling it a 'contract' that they're both signing during the ceremony definitely emphasizes the legal aspect of the wedding as opposed to the romantic aspect.....