Gift related question

pinksonya

So... we're out of money.  We have been for a long time and are struggling this month to get the final things we need for the wedding.  I think I mentioned before that FI's parents are lending us money to cover the remaining balances with our vendors.  We may actually still be short a little.  Needless to say, it seems impossible to purchase bridal party gifts.  Can we give them nice cards with an IOU? Maybe promise a visit with a nice bottle of liquor? At the shower, I gave our parents and my sister, MOH, nice gifts and a nice thank you note for everything they've done.Also, on the wedding day, is it acceptable to give vendors a check?  I thought we may be able to do this with one or two people so we can deposit our wedding money that Monday and have it covered.TIA!  This has been pretty stressful...

AMK2009

All my vendors that needed paid off on the day of the wedding got a check!  I think that's totally acceptable, unless they require cash or something?And if you're out of money, I'm sure your bridal party will understand!  I wouldn't stress about it.

dicer2

We paid our DJ with a check so that's perfectly acceptable!  Just make sure you deposit money ASAP because I'll bet vendors will try to cash them on Monday also. Perhaps as your gift you can say you'll invite them to dinner at your place sometime after the wedding.  I think that would be really nice.Hang in there, this time of great expenses is almost over! Maybe you could get on Wheel of Fortune with Dori? 

pinksonya

Phew, good to know about the checks!  I was waiting for someone to say, "That's so rude to give them a check!"  Haha. I think I'm just overly emotional (PMS) and stressed with all of the final wedding plans!

pinksonya

Wait, what's this about Dori going on Wheel of Fortune?!?

d78

Yep, I paid with checks too. And def make sure there's enough in your account. We didn't get a chance to deposit $$ after the wedding and I was a little worried on the HM.

dicer2

Haha not really.  We were brainstorming ways to make fast money last week.  She thought that would be something she could do. 

d78

Oh yeah, Wheel of Fortune! You'll have to try out with me the next time they come to town! :-)

McBridetobe

We gave our vendors checks for final payments and they like waited weeeeeeks to deposit them.  I was kind of thinking maybe they didn't get them/misplaced them, etc because it took so long.  And I think it is fine for your BP gifts too!  They are your friends and family, they understand!  You need less things to stress over! 

pinksonya

Sign me up!  Seriously, why aren't there ways to make fast money?  I was searching Craigsist last week just hoping I'd find this miracle job that would pay thousands right away! haha

marburs

oh- when you find that magical job, let me know! I'm absolutely no help with your questions, but just wanted to say that it'll all work out!  Take a deep breath- and have fun tomorrow at that wedding!  Take a night off from planning your own and take advantage of the open bar at someone else's!

glassybroad

I actually think the promise of a visit with a bottle of liquor is a GREAT idea.  And everyone will really enjoy spending time together after the wedding madness is over.

pinksonya

Sara, great suggestion! 

kwynn

Paying final payments with a check is just fine and what is normally done for convenience and record keeping. But paying with a check for which there isn't actually money could be risky to you.Read your contracts and make sure who you need to give final payments to that day, the method of payment, who needs to be paid well before the day, and who is paid pending pick up of proofs/video. (Photog, videog are usually later when picking up proofs)For example, my venue needed the final payment with cashier's check. The reason being, if it bounces, you've already had your reception and they'll be out big bucks. So just be absolutely sure what method is allowed.I didn't want to deal with paying anyone that day, so I had all payments mailed a week before. However, if you're out of money, you're out. I think the better option would be to put all final payments on a credit card. Then, in a month, pay the whole thing off completely without accruing interest. This way, you don't have the risk of bounced check fees and it will give you time to get more paychecks under your belts.Can you make something for your bridal party? They had to shell out a lot of money to be in a wedding and something tangible is nice to commemorate the occasion. That would be cheaper in the long run than a bottle of alcohol. Don't you guys make your own wine? (Do I have you confused with another Knottie?) I think a bottle of homemade wine would be great. I wouldn't tip any day-of vendors with a check because that is a lot of checks out there to be floating and keeping track of and the potential for major fees. I am just not a fan (financially) of floating checks. If you are doing it with the knowledge that you don't have the money in the account, that's actually illegal. And what if you don't get a lot of cash at the wedding and instead get material gifts/registry items? What if people give less than expected? How will you have spending money for your honeymoon left?Like Dori, we didn't have a chance to get to the bank and get everything in the account before our minimoon. That is too much stress on you. Plus, incoming deposits can take 3 days to be credited. (For us, a certain percentage was available the next day, another percentage in 5 days, etc) But with electronic stuff now, outgoing amounts on checks can be taken out right away with no waiting period. So even if the vendor waits until Monday, you will probably bounce. I believe bouncing can result in really high fees and the vendor will be charged a fee too, which might make them mad and they will charge you for it too.I think your best option would be to cut costs where you can in these last final weeks, maybe work some overtime?, use a zero percent credit card, or ask family for money in lieu of a gift on your wedding day. (Could you ask your parents to finish paying off the cake instead of giving you a gift, etc?) Just my two cents, no flames meant, just trying to protect you financially. HTH!

KimWard

I'm later to this, but I definitely think spending time with your bp (booze included) is a great idea, and actually more meaningful than getting them gifts they may not even use. And I also payed with checks for everything- can't think of a single person I paid in cash.

pinksonya

Kwynn, thanks for the suggestions. We've considered a lot of that and have cut many things.  We have balances due that have to be paid.   As I mentioned, FI's parents are lending us money, so that should cover mostly everything.  Hopefully we'll only be talking about a couple hundred dollars.  As far as credit is concerned, we really don't have access to credit.  I have one card I am considering charging a few things to, but it is not 0%.Thanks again for the suggestions, everyone.  I know it will all work out.  I'm trying to stay calm and trust that.  

pinksonya

Sorry, I was having trouble remembering everything to respond to.  We do make wine, but we are using the batch we made for the wedding.  I'm not sure if we can spare any or not...

morganphd

We paid almost all of our day of balances with a check.  I have to admit that most of them were cashed the very following Monday.  And, they wouldn't accept anyother type of payment.  Our reception site only accepted credit cards for a final payment.  That was a nasty charge, but they do it to make sure that the check won't bounce, and it gave us a lot of cashback bonus points.  I also think that a nice dinner with booze for your bridal party would be fine.  They'll understand completely (and if they don't, too bad for them).