No kids wedding. Ideas on how to word.

LittleRandall

Just getting ideas I know its soon but just thinking about it. So we decided to do no kids. The only kids that will be are my 3 brothers kids. Only two of them are not in wedding. One is to young and the other is just because I only need 1 ring barrer. I would hope people understand that. We just want a small wedding for one and we our paying for it aswell on a budget. We just want a nice adult party. My nieces and nefews will most likely be leaving early anyways if my brothers arrange for a sitter to come get them. We both have big familys so it would add up way to quick. It may mean people of out of state cant come but that is ok with us. I think if you have kids you wouldnt want to bring them to a wedding. You would want to make it a night out. Anyways just getting ideas in head of how to work on RSVP card. I have checked out options on websites.

hcorr34

Generally, you only put who you are inviting on a wedding invitation, so I feel putting something to the effect of "Adults only" or "No children please" is tacky.  If you ask this question over on the Etiquette board, that's pretty much what they'll tell you.

Here's what I did to make sure that people knew exactly who was invited to our wedding:

The envelope was specifically addressed to the people who were invited. 

If you have an inner envelope, you only write the names of the people invited on that envelope as well.

I personalized my RSVP cards since I did them on my computer.  Each RSVP had the names listed of people invited and they were able to check their meal choice or "Declines with regrets". 

If you are not able to personalize each RSVP card, there are other ways to indicate who is invited.  You can have a line that says "____ seats have been reserved in your name".  Or, on the line where they write the number of people attending, you can fill it in so it says __/2 attending so they know only two are invited. 

If you're truly worried, I would talk to the families.  My best friend has two daughters that are really close to my H, but she completely understood that by inviting her girls, that meant we had 5 other friends whose kids we'd have to invite and, for us, it was a budget thing.  We would have loved to invite them all because I'm all for kids at a wedding. 

Don't assume that people will want to be there without their kids.  While it is rude of them to make the assumption that their kids are invited, some families see weddings as a time that they family all gets to go somewhere together so some may have a hard time with your wishes.  Again, it's rude of them to push the issue, but just don't make the assumption that all couples view weddings as "a night away from the kids", especially if it involves seeing other family members that they rarely get to see.

SaraR715

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_maine_kids-wedding-ideas-word?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:98Discussion:a75875d2-efc9-484f-9f12-bea08a7ed26fPost:f7dc92b4-6414-469e-af92-8335398b8988">Re: No kids wedding. Ideas on how to word.</a>:
[QUOTE]Generally, you only put who you are inviting on a wedding invitation, so I feel putting something to the effect of "Adults only" or "No children please" is tacky.  If you ask this question over on the Etiquette board, that's pretty much what they'll tell you. Here's what I did to make sure that people knew exactly who was invited to our wedding: The envelope was specifically addressed to the people who were invited.  If you have an inner envelope, you only write the names of the people invited on that envelope as well. I personalized my RSVP cards since I did them on my computer.  Each RSVP had the names listed of people invited and they were able to check their meal choice or "Declines with regrets".  If you are not able to personalize each RSVP card, there are other ways to indicate who is invited.  You can have a line that says "____ seats have been reserved in your name".  Or, on the line where they write the number of people attending, you can fill it in so it says __/2 attending so they know only two are invited.  If you're truly worried, I would talk to the families.  My best friend has two daughters that are really close to my H, but she completely understood that by inviting her girls, that meant we had 5 other friends whose kids we'd have to invite and, for us, it was a budget thing.  We would have loved to invite them all because I'm all for kids at a wedding.  Don't assume that people will want to be there without their kids.  While it is rude of them to make the assumption that their kids are invited, some families see weddings as a time that they family all gets to go somewhere together so some may have a hard time with your wishes.  Again, it's rude of them to push the issue, but just don't make the assumption that all couples view weddings as "a night away from the kids", especially if it involves seeing other family members that they rarely get to see.
Posted by hcorrigan34[/QUOTE]

This! Thumbs up :)

And, keep in mind, however you do it, some people may ignore your clearly and etiquette-appropriately stated wishes. This is best handled with personal phone calls after you receive their RSVP to kindly discuss that you were unable to invite their children because of the budget or whatever your reason, but you would love to help them find a sitter so that they can attend. OR if it's just 1 or 2 extra kids, maybe just let it go. It's rude of them to assume kids are invited but these are probably people who think it's rude of you not to invite their kids.

MollyNicole24

we have some close family who have young children who are invited, but we are considering paying a friend of FI's sister  (who we trust) to come and watch them after dinner, in the hotel upstairs.  As for friends with Children, we are just addressing the invites to the adults only.  also having a bit of a later wedding, I have read that people are less likely to bring there kids to a later wedding. BUT like Hcorrigan said- never assume that they will not want to bring them.