Bridal Shower - who's invited opinion!

brivb10

TIA for this - my maid of honor is throwing my bridal shower back home.  Who is invited?  My Mom says only my aunts, but I feel like DF's aunts/grandmas, etc will feel we snubbed them.  Emily post is quiet on this subject, what do you guys think?  MOH is not inviting any out of towners, and I was only thinking his aunts, those in the wedding, and his grandmother that lives in town should be invited.  :-D  Miss you guys during the day!  Sucks to be a night poster!

king26

I personally think it would be nice to invite all family that lives in town.  They might feel snubbed if you don't invite them.  I was under the impression that most people invited to the wedding are invited to the shower.  IMO, I'd invite DF's family.

kbielak17

I would invite anyone, from either side, who is local or within a reasonable driving distance.

morganphd

Ditto Karen. His side will be extremely slighted if they aren't invited if you are only having one shower and they are in reasonable driving distance.

brivb10

Thanks ladies, this was my opinion all along too. 

McBridetobe

I would absolutely invite your FI's extended family.  Have your mom or MOH call his mom to see what they typically do in their family!If I was one of his female cousins (if he has any) I would be totally insulted if my mom was invited and I wasn't!

brivb10

Well this is my mom's issue with the bridal shower: "She doesn't feel that MOH should have to pay for a shower for both sides of the family, saying that is asking way to much of her...that is too many ppl and if his side wants to have a shower that is up to them...trust me as they won't feel slighted if they are not invited to this one ....unless the families are small...a large shower combining both families usually doesn't go well as most ppl don't know the other ppl at all and feel uncomfortable plus it takes to long to open all those gifts and ppl are bored!!! And too many ppl won't be fun. Also where are you going to put 30 plus ppl ...you'd have to rent a place...crazy" That's her email to me this am.

colleenmclaughlin1

Ok, so it sounds to me like your mom has a touch of the crazies this morning.  (FWIW, my mom has a touch of the crazies on most days!)Perhaps you should ask your MOH how many people she is comfortable hosting.  Maybe she (MOH) could reach out to your FMIL and ask her if she would like to have the family included in one shower or if FMIL (or someone on that side) had intentions to host a second shower.  Maybe FMIL could share the costs with MOH?  Just putting that out there.  Not including FILs at all for the shower would be a horrible way to start out bringing the two families together.good luck!

KimWard

Also where are you going to put 30 plus ppl ...you'd have to rent a place...crazy"Umm, I think most people rent rooms for bridal showers! I had mine at a restaurant, and had about 28 people there. I think it's crazy that she thinks 30 people is too many. That seems to be a good size, and definitely on the smaller side. Like I said, I had nearly 30 people, and found it to be the perfect size. Still got to talk with everyone, and presents weren't boring (we raffled off baskets in between opening). GL!

McBridetobe

I agree with Colleen.  If it is all in the same town and most people are local...it would look really odd for his family to be snubbed from the shower.  And I have to wonder...why is your mom just thinking of this now?  When's the shower?  Creating the guest list for the shower should have been the first thing involved, so your MOH would know how many people to host.  (Not that it is your fault, but it seems really late to be thinking of having to add 30 people now.)  My mom called my MIL about 8 months out from the wedding to see who she wanted to invite to the shower.  And at that point, my MIL said that she planned on having a shower for me that was local for DH's family.  So my mom only invited my MIL and DH's great aunt to the Pgh shower.Can your other BMs contribute?  I know it isn't really proper etiquette, but can the moms contribute as well?  My DH's great aunt "hosted" my bridal shower, but my MIL did most of the work and footed the bill. 

brivb10

I think that’s the thing – is no one else is contributing that I know of and my Mom thinks all these showers all the time is a gift reach. My shower is Oct 24, and the reason we are discussing this is MOH asked for the final guest list so she can mail invitations. Where we are from showers are very low-key, not at restaurants, etc. So I agree my Mom has crazies, But I am trying to keep everyone happy. UGH! Lol. How about we skip shower and go right to the bachelorette party!!!