Poll: changing your name?

MiniMin20

Hey ladies,

Are you changing your name? If so, how? I always thought you just changed your last name, but apparently it's more traditional to make your maiden name your middle name, then take the new last name. I kind of like my middle name! I think I'd rather keep that then have two last names.

I'd like to hear your thoughts!

Reinedumonde

I dropped my maiden name entirely.  People call me by my middle name, so it didn't make any sense at all to get rid of it.  I thought about dropping my first name, but it goes with  my middle name, as they were the first and last names of an ancestor of mine (yeah, my name derives from someone's last name).  I felt less bad about abandoning my maiden name since there is some family history in the rest of my name.

Torir911

I'm just taking his last name. I'm keeping my first a middle-- they go well together.

kateinater

I'm keeping my name.   He's thinking about perhaps taking my name.  I don't think females should be the ones who always have to change their names.  I think the better of the two last names should move on.  Which could become tricky if you don't agree. 

chayer227

I dropped my middle name and replaced it with my maiden name. 
I had my maiden name for 33 years, so it was too hard to let it go. 

In NH, you aren't allowed to just change your middle name, so I'm totally in limbo right now...  everything associated with the federal government and taxes/income have me as First Maiden NewLast.  The DMV here refuses to change it, and on top of that, they're apparently incompetent, so my license reads First birthinitial misspellednewlastname... 
I have to petition the probate court to "allow" me to change my middle name - a $90 filing fee...  that's the last thing I want to spend money on right now... 

jaimebeth9

I dropped my maiden name and took his.  I kept my original middle name - my maiden name wouldn't have sounded right as a middle name and I'm pretty fond of 'jaime beth' (although I don't go by that).

krisdoug13

Haven't completely decided yet...I'll definitely keep his, whether or not I will drop my maiden I don't know.  I'm not a fan of hyphenating, but one of his sisters has the same name....and she's not married yet. The two names sound kind of weird together, I think, and I don't want to drop my middle name.  My middle name is the same as my mother's and grandmother's...so I think there's too much meaning in it to drop it all together...thankfully i still have a year and a half to come to a decision!

eilyak

im debating on how this is going to work. i am determined to keep my first name, middle name, maiden name and married name.  just not sure of the order or maiden and last name, and if maiden should be with the middle.  too many options

MegnDev

I ended up taking his last name, and keeping my middle. I was named after my great grandmother, and didn't want to change that. I was hesitant to take his last name at first because my oldest daughter has her biological father's last name, and I didn't want her to be the only one without DH last name. We ended up hyphenating her last name, and it all worked out great

jgreg29

I kept my name.  Professionally I felt I needed to keep my name because for the field I'm in, it's all about publishing your work and I've published too many reports under my maiden name.  In addition, neither MH nor I totally "get" the whole name change thing.  I'm fine if people call me by MH's last name socially.  But I'm happier keeping my own name.  Plus, all the name change paperwork would have driven me nuts!

grahamsm3

I kept my middle name, added my maiden name as a second middle name and changed my last to his. I mostly ignore that my maiden name is there, but it made me feel better to legally keep it in there. I figure if parents can give their child the names of an entire sports team as a middle name I can have 2.

Gina Mae

I am taking his last name and keeping my middle name I like my middle name more than my last name now.  I wanted to hyphen our last names and he told me no!  wouldn't even think about it.

fickrj5

I wanted to keep my last name... as I don't like the sound of his with my first and middle.  But it is really important to him that I take his, he never really asks for much and it's something that I am happy to do for him. Even though it may sound funny, it's who I am.

cameroncurran

I work for my father and want to keep my name. I asked him to change to my last name and that didn't fly. He can introduce me how he wants, I will probably wait to change my name until we have kids. I think I will keep my middle and maiden and just add his last name. I have always loved my full name, no reason to "loose" it.

LaciW

I'm taking FI's last name and turning my maiden name into my middle. We've also talked about changing both our last names to his paternal grandfather's original last name (When he immigrated here he changed it to sound more "American").

kennyandanita

I am officially undecided, which surprises me. I never thought I would change my name. I figured I worked hard through college and law school and "earned a name for myself," as they say, in my career as an attorney, and it wouldn't make sense to start over with a new name.  I am also a strong supporter of women's rights and I don't think the tradition of women giving up our names  is right (plus, at least half of the female attorneys I work with and my friends who have gotten married have kept their own last name, so it doesn't really seem like a "tradition" to me).

But then after I fell in love with him I became a hopeless romantic and I wanted to share his name.  (I wish we could share some combination of our names, or a new name -- I just want us to share a new name). I  He has left the decision up to me -- I know he would prefer I take his name in some way but he doesn't care at all whether I hypenate or take it as a "second" last name without the hypen, and he said it is up to me whether I take it at all and he will be fine with whatever I decide.  He is much more "old fashioned"/ traditional/ "conservative" than I am but he also believes it is my name, my choice.  ( I would never  think of marrying a guy who told me what I could or couldn't do with my own name, but his understanding in spite of his "old fashioned"-ness makes me go "awww!")

So until very recently I had decided I would be Myfirstname My middlename Mylastname Hislastname.  I didn't intend to drop my middle name but perhaps just stop using it  on a regular basis (not that I really use it now, except for my middle initial on all important documents) .  My own last name is like a first name so it all flows well together.  I didn't realize it was "tradition" for women to do this (my own mother and grandmother etc. just dropped their own last name completely and took their husband's last name after their middle name... so maybe it depends on regional or generational "tradition" or something?).  I just thought I would use both names as last names, or whatever, without hypenating and that it was a good compromise. People I know professionally can still call me Myfirstname Mylastname and I won't have to start over with a new last name.  People we know socially can call me Myfirstname Hislastname and I won't get all the "are they married or not?" stares.  Plus I figured it would be easier and kind of fun to choose which last name to use depending on the circumstance, and more convenient because I won't have to change all my credit cards and checks, etc., since my own name will stay a big part of my new legal name (of course I will change any photo IDs).  I have a lot of friends who do this and it seems to work out fine for them (keep their old credit cars in their maiden names, sign school documents for their kids in their married names, etc. -- they just change the Very Important Documents like passport, driver's license, SSN to reflect both last names).

I thought I had it all figured out but as we get closer to our wedding for some reason I just want to say, screw it, I want to be Myfirstname Hislastname.  I can't even articulate any reasons why!!  In fact I feel kind of hyprocritical and like I am betraying my values because I could never understand why a woman would want to do this-- and at the moment I can't understand why I would want to do this!!! I can think of many more logical reasons to keep my own name or do a combination of my last name and his last name than I can to just switch to his.  I guess I have always been an "all or nothing" type person and keeping my own name doesn't seem right to me because I want us to share a name and start a family with our own name.  Ideally we would each change our name to something new but that doesn't seem to be a possibility and it creates a new set of problems for HIM in addition to me (two people changing their names would mean double the headache!)  So I guess that leads me towards just taking his name.  That is really the only reason I can come up with and it's not a great one.  Maybe it is more a matter of the heart than the head.  I am kind of freaking out about this because I never in a million years thought I would change my name at all, let alone *give up* my last name, so I'm not sure what to do and I'm afraid of doing, or not doing, something I'll regret (guess I could always change it back, or change it later).  Maybe it's the wedding buzz getting to me and I'll have more clarity further on down the line... we still have ten months until the wedding, and I have heard of some women not deciding on what to do with their name until months or even years after the wedding, so I guess I have time to decide!