Maine

not having fun - just me?

Is anyone else not having much fun planning their wedding?  I always thought it would be sooo much fun and sooooo exciting and it's feeling like a chore right now.  Nothing is as easy as I thought it would be and everything is so expensive and I'm just feeling overwhelmed and frustrated.  Can't even find a dress I like!!!  :-(  Am I alone??
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Re: not having fun - just me?

  • edited December 2011
    I felt that way at the beginning and I still feel overwhelmed sometimes.  Then someone said to me, take a step back and relax and recongnize that is only 5 hours of your life!!! 
    Then I sat down with my FI and talked about what is important to our wedding and it helped to set our priority.
    We want our guest to be comfortable, plenty of food and plenty of drinks.  So tha helps me to make some decision.  Good luck and try to have fun!
  • edited December 2011
    I feel that way sometimes, more so about a few months in.  II think once you start finalizing things it becomes more real and fun.  A good DIY run always makes me feel better!
  • britthall06britthall06 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I think that vendors and people helping always have so many questions and expectations that it's easy to become overwhelmed! I want our wedding to be comfortable too (FI would rather just elope or do a backyard BBQ wedding with family only, complete with the family football game after) so I'm trying to skip a lot of the old traditions and make OUR day more laid back. It makes everybody look at me like I have 3 heads when I'm not worried about little details, when I don't want to look at 15709475 different florists, when I want finger sandwiches and sliders instead of a plated sit-down dinner. My feeling of stress is just the opposite of most girls but it's all stressful none the less! Take a breather and like PP said, remember that even though it's a hugely important day we're all going to end up married no matter how it happens :) And I think everyone here has great solutions and tips when it comes to finding vendors on a budget! Take advantage of them!
  • edited December 2011
    You know, britthall06, I think you hit the problem I'm having.  Everyone else seems to have so many expectations, and I feel like they are being so critical and expecting so much from me.  It's OUR wedding and yet everyone feels that they should have input and and opinion.  It's driving me nuts and making me want to elope (which my FI won't do).  He said that he'll just take over and plan it if it's too much for me, but that means I'd be missing out on a huge part of getting married.  After all, this is supposed to be fun and a memorable experience, right?  Ugh, I'm not sure any more.  :-(

    Thanks for all your feedback, ladies!!
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  • hcorr34hcorr34 member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    I guess I am in the minority here since I am loving the planning process for my wedding.  I'm a "planner" by nature, so maybe it's all just natural for me (I had almost everything planned/booked within two weeks of getting engaged).  I was a little surprised when I first started and realized how expensive things were, but I accepted my budget (that I'm funding 100%) and moved on.  I was lucky that I had a few big connections to call upon...I'm not necessarily getting any deals but I'm relaxed knowing that I personally know my photographer, DJ and officient really well.  I decided that I'm doing my own flowers, centerpieces, and invitations, which is a huge money saver. 

    There's a relatively simple solution if you don't want to deal with critics: Don't discuss your wedding plans with them.  If someone else is footing the bill, then they do get a say.  But if they aren't, then plan what you want to do and don't worry about everyone else.  I know some of FI's family will be put off that we're not getting married in a church.  They'll get over it. I'm sure there are some people who might frown upon our Margarita Glass centerpieces.  They can get over it too.  I definitely know there are some who might laugh because I'm using carnations.  They didn't offer me money so they can judge all they want.  It's not going to ruin my day. 

    There's a bunch of things my mom doesn't quite get either(my red shoes being the current debate), so I've stopped telling her the things that I'm sure she'll disagree with.

    And Miss Britt..you make me feel awfully old when I see you on here!   
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  • Krista521Krista521 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I totally agree... this wedding thing hasn't been as happy and exciting as i had pictured.  There are def some fun parts, but for the most part i am finding myself stressed in the middle of everyone's wants and desires for our day.  It is easy to not discuss it with people so you won't have to deal with critics but when the people who are stressing you out and/or are the critics are the ones footing the bill... you kinda have to deal with it.  My mantra at this point is that is a marriage not a wedding!!!! 
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  • britthall06britthall06 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Hahaha and I still have a hard time calling you HOLLY! It's always habit to call you Miss Corrigan :P I completely agree, there are people who will think I'm crazy for wearing a pair of flip flops for shoes or think that tiny burgers have no place at a wedding. There are people who will think my simple taste is boring..I've learned to be firm about what we want, it's our day and the last thing I want is something stuffy that my fiancé or I will hate. I've also learned to shop around and prioritize, but more importantly I go with my gut and choose people who are on the same page as us. It makes the whole process easier on you when you really trust each vendor! You'll feel better each time you knock something off your to-do list, just remember to breathe and stick to your guns as you do it!
  • edited December 2011

    I'm kind of in the middle.. one part of me loves planning, the other hates spending money, especially at this capacity.  So I am in a love/hate relationship with planning this wedding. I'm going to take on a nice big DIY project this weekend and see if I want to paint all of my table numbers so we'll see if that makes it better.. oh and then also the favors and flowers.. wicked fun

  • edited December 2011
    I would love to get involved in a DIY project because it would give me something productive to do (other than spending money) and would really get me "hands-on" involved with my wedding.  I just have no idea what to do.  I've been searching the web and bridal shows for ideas of favors or special decorations that I could do by myself and I just have no idea.  I should tell you all that I'm one of those girls who NEVER imagined what my wedding would be like.  I have no vision and probably should just be eloping.  :-)  So here I am trying to get inspiration and make it a special day and ... nothing.  :-)  Yeah, I have a couple issues to deal with! hahahahaha
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  • hcorr34hcorr34 member
    2500 Comments Fourth Anniversary Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    Firstm - Take a look at people's planning bios on here.  I don't have one because I just don't have time for a website right now to talk about what I've made, but some people have really really detalied ones.  Check out the DIY board too (many of the regular posters on that board have a bio in their signature).  I've taken some ideas from posts and bios and made them fit my needs.
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  • edited December 2011
    Will do!  Thanks!!
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