Collecting RSVP's Question

sarahfowler38

Ladies (especially those that have already done this...)

Our RSVP no later than date has come and gone (it was Friday). Yesterday I made a few calls to a few people (we don't have too many missing and most of the ones that are missing aren't sure yet because they are deployed and might be back in time, but might not).

We owe a headcount to our venue by Friday. When do I call again? And what do I say? Do I give them a, "If I don't hear from you by Thursday evening, I'll put you down as a no?"

I feel like that is mean, but if they aren't calling me back, I'm assuming it's because they don't want to/can't come.

Thanks!!!

britthall06

I'd probably make calls tomorrow evening, though I would phrase it "if we don't hear from you by Thursday evening we won't be able to hold a seat for you at the wedding." A little harsh, but I'd be afraid of someone not taking you seriously and thinking they can just call back last minute and "correct" your assumption. This way it'll be clear to them that there isn't going to be room for people who just feel like making you wait.

jessicabessica

I think with the people who should know, but are just dragging their heels, it's fine to say, "We hope you can make it, and we will check back with you on Thursday and will need to know for sure by then," at which point it would be fine to leave a message that you will have to mark them down as a "no."  Some people don't get that caterers and venues need final counts, so you might have to explain that (H's uncle asked why he couldn't just let us know the day before the wedding whether his wife could make it). 

I don't know how many people you have that are deployed and might be able to come, but if you think a few people might be able to show up last minute, could you afford to overestimate by a few guests in your final counts?  You'll probably also have a couple of last minute no-shows and your caterer will have a little extra, so it may not be a big deal. 

sarahfowler38

Thanks ladies! That's what I'm thinking. I'm planning on calling again tomorrow evening and basically leaving that message.

As far as the deployed friends, we only have one or two that actually have a decent chance of being home before then. The rest are just being optimistic. We decided to just count the one or two as coming and that bite the cost if they can't make it. FI will probably deploy next year and if we're in the same situation, I hope someone would do the same for him! (Only if he actually had a chance at making it home in time). And since FI is in the Air Force, a majority of our friends are in the same situation anyways.