July 2013 Weddings

Checks! - and family stress (long)

I went down to see family about a week ago, and was able to get three out of my four bridesmaids together to go dress shopping.  We picked this little number, in rose petal.  We're going to hem it to be knee length though, because it doesn't come long enough for all my girls (My bridesmaids are 5' 6", 5' 8", 6' 1", and 6' 3", and will all be wearing heels.) They all really liked it!

Additionally, I met with our florist, who was wonderful.  I described my vision, and she came back with a bunch of pictures, and a few little sketches, color swatches, and vases that were exactly what I wanted.  It was like she took my fuzzy, vague idea and transformed it into a concrete plan!

Finally, there was the drama part.  My family is very involved with the planning, and when I met with a potential officiant at the family home, of course they both wanted to sit down and meet her too (especially since my FI was unable to travel down with me).  I loved her, and she talked about her specialty, conveying the sacredness of the event without including religion.  That was very important to my FI and I, because we're both atheists, but still believe that a wedding ceremony is 'sacred', and should be treated as such. 

Well, she explained her methods, and my mom and I were both enthusiastic.  My dad looked annoyed, and said "now I know this is what Gabrielle wants, but I think a wedding is promising to be together, before each other, your families and GOD." The officiant handled it gracefully, and we hired her because she was totally wonderful, and had everything FI and I were looking for. 

After she left, my dad sat me down and spent an hour accusing me of being disrespectful to my entire family, and being selfish, and self important based on my lack of religion (not anything I said or did, just the beliefs themselves).  The last straw was when he claimed that the Nazi's were an atheist organization, and asked weather I agreed with their beliefs (are you kidding me?).  It was really hurtful, and pretty much ruined the rest of my trip. 

End of vent.

Re: Checks! - and family stress (long)

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    well sounds like overall you got some great things accomplished.  as of your dad im sorry he said what he did.  those are his opinion even though hurtful.  is he a religious man overall? if so i can sorta see where he is coming from.  the other thing is he could be old school and in most ceremonies when he got married they said the word GOD so he may see it that way. 

    dont let him and his opinions rain on your wedding and your planning. think of the positive aspects you got flowers officiant and bridesmaid dress
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    edited June 2012
    those are great checks!!

    i'm sorry about your dad, that's got to be awful. maybe to help him feel included, or just to appease him a little you could ask him to do a reading or something religious (but not overtly so) at the wedding or rehearsal dinner? going halfway would probably go a long way...
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    Thanks for the support guys!  Missquela, that's exactly what we did.  I asked him if he would like to choose a bible reading for the ceremony, and that seemed to make him a little bit happier. 
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    there you go.
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    That sucks, Gabrielle. FI and I are also not looking forward to having that conversation with my parents, so I'm glad that it seems like you've found a way to make your dad feel better!
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    glad it (kind of) worked out! i want to see pics of your BM dresses!
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2013-weddings_checks-and-family-stress-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:a322ad2c-25cd-4d52-b123-096e1e4ecda5Discussion:13df855f-b673-48ea-8c96-5e797d31c415Post:4a72da9c-bba5-4f27-a82a-6a8692247d47">Re: Checks! - and family stress (long)</a>:
    [QUOTE]glad it (kind of) worked out! i want to see pics of your BM dresses!
    Posted by missquela[/QUOTE]

    I concur! Pictures please! :)
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2013-weddings_checks-and-family-stress-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:a322ad2c-25cd-4d52-b123-096e1e4ecda5Discussion:13df855f-b673-48ea-8c96-5e797d31c415Post:b8f2787c-adfa-4c62-b28a-6c116fea652a">Re: Checks! - and family stress (long)</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Checks! - and family stress (long) : I concur! Pictures please! :)
    Posted by Getting2Vowels[/QUOTE]

    I linked it in the OP.  In the sentance "We chose this little number" the word 'this' is a link to a pic :)
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    Love the dress.

    WTF with your dad!  I would be super pissed if my dad essentially accused me of being a Nazi.  I'm glad it looks like you may have found a bit of a compromise for him.  Includes him in the ceremony + gives him the chance to add some religion to it if he so chooses.  Win-win.
    Formerly known as flutterbride2b
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