July 2013 Weddings

FMIL driving me nutso! (VENT)

Anyone else have drama mamas out there?  In this case, it's not my mama - it's FI's!
She's great, I've known her for many more years than I've known FI - I do not mean to be bashing her right now, but I think I've been quite forgiving with her drama thus far but I'm about to explode.

It just seems as though she has been trying to manipulate us into doing certain things and that makes me squirm.  She really loves drama (no matter how many times she says she can't stand drama), like I said, I've known her for a VERY long time and worked with her for 3 years and trust me, she L-O-V-E-S the drama.  Most times, she is the source of it.  It's getting ridiculous though. 

She has done everything from ask a cousin of FI to play with his "jazz" band during our cocktail hour - in front of us, without talking to us about it - then I was the one who had to look like a bi*** and tell him we had already arranged for someone to play during our cocktail hour and that this was just some sort of miscommunication, to telling FI's aunt that she can sit with us at the head table when our head table was already decided and it really makes no sense at all to have her there, to making us feeling terrible for not inviting some of HER coworkers whom we've NEVER heard of/met....and we're paying for this wedding ourselves, so really...

It just doesn't stop.  She cries about things she does herself.  She'll do/say something inappropriate and then call us the next day and cry because she feels bad.  She's an emotional rollercoaster and I love her, but honestly I can't stand the way she's handling herself lately.

UGH!!! 

just needed to vent.  it's cookie time.
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Re: FMIL driving me nutso! (VENT)

  • Have you tried to talk to her? In the case of the band thing with your cousin I would have simply stated "Its the first time Im hearing this...Im sorry we already have something planned". She would have been the one embarrassing herself. Try to tell her to come to you first with ideas. If that doesnt work just appease her and go with your own ideas anyway. Luckily for me I only had one small FMIL issue and since I made my point clear we've been getting along wonderfully. I couldn't ask for a better relationship.
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  • Sorry you're going through that! Maybe have your FI talk to her about how you guys are feeling? I've had drama with my FMIL and FSIL in the past so FI had talks with them and we're in a good place now.

    When we got engaged I definitely thought my FMIL was going to object to a lot of things about our wedding (not getting married in a church, keeping the guest list to 100, etc) They're from Italy and all of their family weddings are always huge and I don't think they've ever been to an outdoor wedding. We've been to 3 weddings at the same Italian church where his parents got married at (one being his sister's wedding). But much to my surprise, his immediate family has stayed pretty uninvolved. Hopefully they're really okay with it all and not just biting their tongues around me lol

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  • sorry she is acting that way hope it all gets better. i think you do need to talk to her.  and ignore her childish behavior
  • My heart goes out to you! In-law drama is so hard, especially when it's FMIL. I have two FMIL's - FI's mom, and FI's dad's wife. I love both of them dearly, but issues have come up from time to time. I have learned that I must always use tact and be very careful what I say to FI about the situation. I have a tendency to speak without thinking, especially when I get upset... so even if FI feels the same way, or says a certain thing, I have to choose my words carefully. My unfiltered vent belongs someplace else, like with my sister or a friend... here on TK is a good place too. :) Hope your situation calms down Liane!
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  • Yeah, it's sticky...especially because I do love her! 
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  • Awwww!! So sorry. *internet hug*
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  • Sorry to hear this. My FMIL passed away a few years ago. Actually 2 years ago Sunday. Makes me sad cause for the short time i knew her she was great. But then again, we are older and since its not our first wedding, I dont think we would have had any problem doing what we wanted anyway, or telling her that its not her wedding :) Nicely of course. But Im really surprised my own mom isnt bad. Hope it gets better for you all.

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