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XP: is this rude?

Getting2VowelsGetting2Vowels member
5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
in July 2013 Weddings
FI's parents have offered to pay for the RD. Since we have to pick off the restaurant menu adult beverages are not included. We do receive an hour free bar because our reception the following night is the sister venue...anyway ..Is it rude to use the hour for the dinner and then people pay for their own drinks after? We are having open bar at the wedding so I dont see 14 or so people drinking alot at the RD.

Whats the etiquette here?
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Re: XP: is this rude?

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    WildMageletWildMagelet member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment First Answer
    edited July 2012
    Etiquette says cash bars are rude.  You don't have to include drinking at the RD if FI's parents don't want to pay for it.  There's nothing wrong with a dry RD. You could also consider using up the hour and paying for drinks the other hour yourselves.  Like you said, I can't imagine that people are going to be drinking a ton anyways and most people will drink more in the first hour than subsequent hours.  How long are you planning on your RD being?
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    Getting2VowelsGetting2Vowels member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    In thinking about an hour..no more than 2. And thanks!
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    Chels&JimmyChels&Jimmy member
    First Comment 5 Love Its First Anniversary
    I don't really know what the proper etiquette would be, but our thought is to have RD attendees pay for their own drinks if they choose to drink. FI's parents are paying for the RD but (1) we have a large WP, (2) most of them like to drink, and (3) we are planning on having the RD on the patio at a Mexican restaurant which is literally one step away from the bar... so I anticipate that Coronas and margaritas are going to be in high demand. I really don't expect FI's parents to pay for all of that. Covering their meals is gracious enough. If the RD attendees choose to drink, which I'm certain they will, they can walk right on over to the bar and purchase their own. So I guess my answer is... I don't know what is "proper" but I don't really care. LOL.
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    LilTexasGalLilTexasGal
    First Comment First Anniversary
    I think it is fine to offer the "free-bar" during dinner, but if dinner runs over that hour time slot, I would consider paying for any other drinks ordered during that time, just like Flutterbride suggested. I too don't think that there will be a lot of drinking over that first hour.
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    Getting2VowelsGetting2Vowels member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    I asked this over on the ettiquite board and they suggested we should pony up and just pay for the remainder after the first hour. While that makes sense to me I know that FMIL can not do that. Im gracious enough that shes extended to pay for the meals at the place we've picked. She is willing to pay for drinks during dinner but I dont expect her to carry it after. I know my guests well enough that they can pay for their own after dinner. Plus, who wants to be bloated and gassy the next day, right? Lol
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    WildMageletWildMagelet member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment First Answer
    Do they have a bar at the restaurant? If so you could have your FMIL ask for the check at the designated point, then have a RD 'after party' and move the party to the bar area from your tables for those who want to stay and drink and chat longer.
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    Getting2VowelsGetting2Vowels member
    5 Love Its First Anniversary First Comment
    edited July 2012
    Yep..there is one of those old style, prohibition era bars from wall to wall right in front of where we'll be sitting. Its stunning and convenient. I think I'll tell everyone if asked. Or maybe we'll do a 1 drink min and move the party somewhere after. Which Im sure will be the case anyway
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