What would you do?

brideRegN

So this is one of the reasons I HATE save the dates. I found out recently that one of the girls at work who I thought was a friend of mine is doing nothing but talk badly about me at work. I have asked her point blank what is with all the talking behind my back, she lied straight to my face. I did invite her to the wedding via save the date but do not want to have such a back stabber at my wedding. Is it wrong not to give her an invite? What to do?

shaygray88

I would say be the bigger person and invite her anyway. More than likely she wont even come since she seems to have an issue with you. She's probably jealous or intimidated by you...JMO

Price4life

I'm not trying to be snappy or anything, BUT i wouldn't give her a invitation!!!! So what she has a save-the-date, you gave it and I'm sure she saved the date (the point of those things anyway), and now you know not to invite. One thing i cant stand is fake friends. That is your day and its secret between you, fiancé, and family/friends. The people you love and trust!

CKSillyPants

If you sent a Save the Date it's extremely rude not to send an invitation. Don't stoop down to her level, send the invite. I feel like if she's talking behind your back she probably won't show up anyway.

WalkersFurMama

Ditto CK and Shay. . . be the bigger person and send the invite. If she's got some sort of beef with you she probably won't take the time to come. If she does RSVP yes, you can be a little snotty and sit her in a crappy spot. 

Price4life

I'm not sure if you would be the bigger person, by inviting her anyway and being snotty if she attends! Why waste your energy? (Especially on your wedding day!!) So if you are this undecided than you should most definitely confront her now. Maybe she will be apologetic and you both can move on. If not, then I'm sure you will know what to do after that outcome.

Wheels987

If you work with this person--stay civil. You already sent a save-the-date, just send the invite. There are definitely a couple people that I'm not too fond of coming to my wedding, but its ok. You'll be the focus and everyone will see you as a gracious host. Imagine all the crap she can say about you if you don't send an invitation after already getting a save-the-date? You'll be rude and whatever-else-she-already-had-a-problem-with before! Not saying she currently has a valid reason to talk about you, but this would just fuel to the fire.

brideRegN

I agree that inviting her is the 'right thing to do'. But its a hard pill to swallow for sure. I agree with Wheels.... she would be the type to add fuel to the fire if I didn't invite her. Thanks girls for all your replies. 

Andama08

This is tricky, and although it's "rude" to send a savethedate and not an invite, it's also rude to talk behind someone else's back. I personally would not invite her, especially if you've confronted her and she won't apologize. It's your wedding day and I wouldn't let etiquette force me to invite someone who doesn't deserve to be there. The last thing I would want is to spend money on someone who speaks badly about me, if anything I'd send her a card or talk to her in person and explain why she isn't invited.

Price4life

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2013-weddings_what-would-you-do?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:a322ad2c-25cd-4d52-b123-096e1e4ecda5Discussion:a635ede6-f353-4798-8164-1fc187a84969Post:2f33d3fa-ee59-4d4a-bea0-d8a2714dc7c4">Re:What would you do?</a>:
[QUOTE]This is tricky, and although it's "rude" to send a savethedate and not an invite, it's also rude to talk behind someone else's back. I personally would not invite her, especially if you've confronted her and she won't apologize. It's your wedding day and I wouldn't let etiquette force me to invite someone who doesn't deserve to be there. The last thing I would want is to spend money on someone who speaks badly about me, if anything I'd send her a card or talk to her in person and explain why she isn't invited.
Posted by Andama08[/QUOTE]



Finally, someone that see my pov!

McRogol

I'm in a similar situation myself and really don't want to send the invite out to an old, dear friend who blew our friendship up!  AND always does a really good job of spinning things around in her mind so that she's not the responsible one...

BUT I think we'll just send the invite anyway.  If she wants to make nice and fly across the country to attend our wedding, then so be it.  

It's a tough decision...I'm tempted to say since you work with this gal, just send the invite but I would also confront her.  I mean, wouldn't you do that regardless?