Feeling bleh

jamie5482

Okay so I'm assuming this is some weird combination of the weather being icky and me feeling kind of sick but I feel pretty alone with wedding stuff right now. Not for most of the other stuff - FI has been helpful and supportive but with the girly stuff I feel alone so I'm going to vent so hopefully that will help me feel better! 

- My family is small to begin with and FI's family lives far away in another state but between my favorite aunt not being able to come to the wedding to my mom not being aware enough to even realize I'm getting married (she has early onset dementia and lives in a dementia facility) it just makes me sad.

- My first dress fitting is this Saturday and I may have to go by myself. Two of my bridesmaids were going to come but the one forgot her boyfriend's dad's birthday was this weekend so she is going to that (she is studying for her boards and only had time for one "fun" thing every weekend which I totally get and have zero problem with!). And my MOH overscheduled her entire day even though she knew about my fitting before anything else. I'm just disappointed because I really didn't want to go alone (which I made clear to everyone) because it just makes it hit even harder that my mom isn't there and I felt like I need that extra support. 

- Because everyone is so busy my SIL hasn't responded much to my attempts to get her to bring my neice flower girl dress shopping. I'm starting to get worried this may not even get done... 

I think that none of these things is a huge deal in the grand scheme of things (after all I'm still getting married to a great, supportive, sweet guy) but I think not having my mom with me just magnifies the lonely/ unsupported feeling. I know my bridesmaids and SIL love me dearly and that truly everyone is just busy and of course this wedding is not top priority for anyone but me (which, again, I have no problem with), I just can't help but feeling lonely with the girly aspect of the wedding stuff (the things I don't want FI to know about, like my dress!). I think basically I just miss my mom!

NO2012

I'm so sorry you are feeling alone and down. It sounds to me like you are being too understanding of everyone else and not acknowledging your feelings to yourself and to those who should be there to support you. It is perfectly understandable for you to feel sad and you shouldn't minimize that to yourself by saying you understand why no one will be there for you. I would tell at least one of them, especially your MOH, that you are sad about going to your first fitting alone. I'm wondering if each of them actually realizes that you will be going alone. They probably assume one of the others is going with you.

NO2012

I'm so sorry you are feeling alone and down. It sounds to me like you are being too understanding of everyone else and not acknowledging your feelings to yourself and to those who should be there to support you. It is perfectly understandable for you to feel sad and you shouldn't minimize that to yourself by saying you understand why no one will be there for you. I would tell at least one of them, especially your MOH, that you are sad about going to your first fitting alone. I'm wondering if each of them actually realizes that you will be going alone. They probably assume one of the others is going with you.

jamie5482

Thanks for the perspective, it's always helpful to hear that I'm not crazy or being bridezilla-y with my feelings. It's likely that my MOH will be there but apparently could be late. I'm frustrated with it because they all know the situation with my mom. And now that the one BM can't make it my MOH knows that too (since she emailed us both) so she definitely knows I'll be by myself if she doesn't show. I'll let her know I'll be really upset if I'm alone just so that it's clear how important that is to me. 

calindi

I'm sure it's very tough to have your Mom not able to be a part of your preparations.  And it sounds like you're putting things in good perspective.  Hang in there!  Are there any other friends you could ask to go with you to the dress fitting?  And yes, definitely let them know that while you totally understand that they're busy and have other commitments, it would mean the world if someone would go to your fitting with you.

For what it's worth, I was living 2000 miles away from family & friends when I bought my wedding dress and did fittings, and I was really bummed about going alone.  I made it into a pampering day - went and got my nails done, my hair cut & styled, did my makeup, and then took myself out to lunch afterwards.  It made going alone a lot more fun! 

As far as the flower girl dress, that's small potatoes. Do you know what size she is?  If so, order one online and have it delivered to her.  Or just tell the mother to buy a dress for her in X, Y, or Z colors - she'll be adorable no matter what.  I bought a dress for my flower girl and had it shipped - I used MyGirlDress.com and it ended up being even higher quality than I expected!

jamie5482

Ooh, calindi, thanks for the flower girl dress tip! I'll definitely look into that