Annoyed

meghwood

So at the suggestion of a few girls on this board and others I put together a list of "must have" shots and inspiration shots that I would like to re-create on our wedding day and gave them to our photographer this weekend. Today she responded with "I'm worried that I might miss a candid moment looking down at your list. A lot of what you have listed are things we do our best to capture but can't guarantee each shot".

I'm a little annoyed at this for a few reasons, but mostly I'm just worried that I'm not going to get the photos that I really wanted. I understand that she wants to capture things as they happen and I wann't suggesting that she only take the photos that I listed, but is it a lot to ask to get a few photos that we really want? The list was by no means ridiculous and I honestly thought I was being helpful and clear not offensive.

What do you guys think? Am I overreacting about this?

cronin85

How long was your list? If it is only a few I dont see why it would be a problem.  If you have about 50 listed, then I could see why she would be worried.

daxvi

I think your photographer is trying to manage your expectations because it sounds like you are maybe micro-managing, a little? 

We have given our photographer a list of the family portraits we'd like just so the parents get the photos they want...but after that we hired our photographer because we love the creativity they have shown with other weddings they have done. So I'm not going to tell them how to do their job, and neither should you.

If I were you, I'd give her the list and ask her to do her best. I'm sure she will get as much as she can, and you will be very happy with the photos afterward.

AriesAngel86

I thnk like others have said, it depends how many pictures are on your "must have" or inspiration list. My photographer ASKED that I go on pinterest and get ideas because it helps her figure out what I'm looking for. I would focus on a few that you really really want taken and let him/her know. 

volleygurl0306

I think it is fine to show your photographer as many pictures as you want to give them an idea of style, look etc.  However, don't be upset if every picture isn't in there.  I think it would probably be best to go through your pictures with your photoag and talk about "must have" vs. "nice to have" and also ones that are feasible and not (based on location, space, weather, their talents, and their equipments there can be some they just can't pull off).

I personally think ones for your "formal" or portrait style pictures shouldn't be that hard to include.  There won't be much candid stuff going on but people chatting because they are waiting for directions.  During your reception, you may want a little more give room because that's when the candid magic happens.  Also, do you have a second photographer?  If so, ask if one could be dedicated to your list and the other handling candid.  That doesn't seem hard. 

I gave my photag quite a few photos admittedly.  But, they are mainly during our formal picture time because I was recently in a wedding where we stood around a lot waiting for the bride and groom to decide what poses they wanted and making stuff up as we went. I'm sure there pictures are okay but I feel like they could have had more time with guests during cocktail hour and/or more poses to choose from if they were more prepared.  During the reception I basically just had ideas of things to look out for but not exact poses.  I liked a different angle during our first dance.  I saw a cute one of the groom kissing the brides shoulder.  My FI doesn't kiss my shoulders but I LOVED the tenderness of it so it was just kinda like a "look out for us being affectionate."  During our final meeting I plan to go through one by one with my photoag of what I like about the picture more than we need everyone to be in this exact pose.

Disagree with PP a little because yes you hired them because you like their style but you also have a right to be happy with your pictures because you are a paying customer.  I'd talk to your photag about what you are expecting and ask her for limitations.  Maybe reorder your pictures by priority so if you don't get to the more complicated ones you just kinda like it isn't as big of a deal than if she didn't see your favorite one until you are out of time.  Pick a few you must have and let the rest be a guide more than a checklist.

meghwood

Thanks Volleygurl...You basically summed up what I was thinking. It really was not a ton of photos on the list....mostly bridal party/family portraits and a few details that we had included that I wanted her to keep an eye out for. Really the only two "poses" that I requested were not ones she would have ever known to do because they included my dad's antinque truck and the loft at the barn where we are having our reception. I am 100% fine with her doing her job and being creative- that is absolutely why I hired her, however I know that I would have regretted not speaking up if I do not get some of the photos that I really wanted.

We do have a second photographer, so maybe that would be an option. I am going to try to speak to her tonight and clarify what I was asking for- hopefully get everyone on the same page!

BMcLeodTeam

I agree that giving them a list for the formal photos isn't unreasonable, its if you cross the line into dictating what kind of photos for the entire event that you're going to make it hard for them to do what they do best.
We showed them our pinterest board for ideas of what we liked, and gave a list of about 15 total photos. Everything else is up to them. We've seen enough of their work to know we don't need to specify more than that.