So Hurt - SIL Vent

Peaceflower17

So I send out my RSVPs about a month ago. They have a couple of weeks left to respond before I have to start calling people. No one in FI's fanily has responded yet. Eh ok. Whatever.

I see on FB a status from FI's sister cursing out someone because they called her daughter by her middle name. Ok... I do... what is going on? I started reading her status since I can't see her FB page and this is set to public. I realize the status is about me and the wedding. Apparently, she was offended that I wrote her daughter's middle name on the invite. I have always called her that. I even asked FI's sister permission before she was even born. We always have written her middle name on everything or her first and middle. Nothing has ever been said (she is 1 years old now). 

She goes on to say she will not be coming to the wedding and that she has her reasons and I am fake and she doesn't want to be around fake people and she refuses to be around us on our most important day of our lives. She says that she hopes we are suprised when we receive our response with a NO written. I don't know if she purposely wrote that for me to see but I am assuming that she did since it was set for everyone to see. We are pretty much estranged but I thought we were getting better and I thought that she would support her brother who is all she has left really since their younger brother died (17 years old) 2 years ago and it was a tragic event. 

Well she said she was going to be sending her response out tomorrow so we will see... And their step-sister replied to the status saying she is going to RSVP to the wedding at our bridal shower next weekend which she previously told FI's mother that they would not be attending either. I find that harsh...

I was hoping that our wedding woutd bring our families closer but all it seems to have done is push people away...

End vent. Sorry...

scurtis07

yikes! I'm sorry you are going through this. It does sound harsh, is this really all around you calling the daughter by her middle name? Honstly even if you asked permission (which sorry that just seems weird to me to do that) she seems like she wants you to call her daughter by the name she gave her, and if it bothers her that much just do it.

On another note, I would have your FI talk to the sister once the response card comes in, to be the one to ask if there is anyway she would be able to make it, or at least express his sadness to not be able to spend his big day with his family.

Hope that helps, good luck

cronin85

Wow, I'm sorry you have to go through all that.  I would probably just call her by her first name just to keep the peace going forward.  But if she went through all that just because of something so silly then thats just crazy.  Hopefully she was just venting and everything will work out. Good Luck!

L&K2012

Wow, seems a bit odd.  I wouldn't think I would call someone 'fake' and avoid their wedding simply because they call my daughter by a name I don't like. 

However, can I said, why do you call her daughter by her middle name (if that isn't what the whole family does)?  And how did she respond when asked?  I do have to say if someone asked me that I would likely look at them like they had two heads, but can't IMAGINE that I would then skip someones wedding due to this haha!!

Peaceflower17

Thank you. I helped her pick the middle name so I felt very connected to it. Its also after my BIL who passed away. It was kinda like a family nickname I guess. I don't know. I guess I will let FI handle it once we get the response cards in.

Peaceflower17

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2012-weddings_so-hurt-sil-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:a464c18c-2e4d-469b-8eae-3865079cb9cfDiscussion:1f385c5b-88ff-48c6-8daf-b736f34e6f98Post:704358d3-760b-432d-b353-c2ae11a695a2">Re: So Hurt - SIL Vent</a>:
[QUOTE]Wow, seems a bit odd.  I wouldn't think I would call someone 'fake' and avoid their wedding simply because they call my daughter by a name I don't like.  However, can I said, why do you call her daughter by her middle name (if that isn't what the whole family does)?  And how did she respond when asked?  I do have to say if someone asked me that I would likely look at them like they had two heads, but can't IMAGINE that I would then skip someones wedding due to this haha!!
Posted by L&K2012[/QUOTE]

<div>She was perfectly fine with it when we initially talked about it. She actually even said she would prefer if it was just us as in my FI and I that called her that since FI was her godfather. Once she did mention that we needed to call her by her first name for a bit because they were worried about her not knowing her name. We complied with it and that was almost a year ago. She never said anything to us about it since. We even wroteher first and middle names on things for her birthday and we wrote her middle name inside a photo album we gave her for mothers day/SIL birthday/ and baby birthday gift and nothing was ever said.</div>

Peaceflower17

So I received her RSVP in the mail today. Not only did she write all over it in big huge letters her name and her daughters and WE WILL NOT BE ATTENDING! across the top. She also crossed out the 2 in "We have reserved 2 seats for you" wrote in 3 instead. I took a pic of it and sent it to FI since he was at work and I don't know when he'll be home and all he said was, "Fine. Her decision"

mtnbrooke7

Whoa.  Sounds like she has more issues than just the name thing!  Sorry you're having to deal with this.  I'd just let it be...she is the one that's going to look like a crazy person.