Shower Etiquette- advice please (TK just ate my first post)

NO2012 · January 2012

[I just posted this about 20 min ago, then it disappeared after 5 minutes or so. I hope it doesn't reappear later as a double post.]

FI and I just got "formally" engaged at the beginning of this month (the date has been set for awhile, but I just got my ring and we made the announcement a few weeks ago). Literally within 24 hours of announcing our engagement, we had 3 different offers to host showers for me (3 different areas of our lives: his family, my family, and work - we work together actually; ideally we will keep these groups separate for showers due to the large number of invitees). We feel so blessed and grateful that everyone is as thrilled as we are and have so generously offered to host showers.

The problem is this (if you want to call it that): over the last couple of weeks I have had offers from others to host showers. How do I appropriately and graciously deal with these newest offers? Do I let the original offerors know that others would like to help them? The people who are now offering do not really know the original offerors. Is it incumbent upon me to try and make sure everyone who has offered is involved and to sort out the logistics and personality dynamics? I believe that all involved will be understanding at the end of the day, but I am feeling alot of pressure over this (that I am putting on myself). I guess I feel as though the original offerors sort of called shotgun on hosting (I did graciously say thank you so much for the offer and tried to put them off a bit on details since I was a bit overwhelmed in the first couple of days of our engagement), and none of them have said anything like let me know if anyone else offers to help. Do I just put them in contact with each other and let them sort it out?

Any advice would be appreciated!

kmschuler · January 2012

When my FI and I had an engagment party my mom heard his family already planning showers and arguing who was going to have it. My mom told me about this once the party was over. I did not let it bother me and I let my MOH know what was going on and told her that her and my mom need to work together and figure it out, because I have many other things to stress about and that was not going to be one of them.

adktd2boots · January 2012

Just tell them thank you for the offer, but you've already got a shower being hosted for you. And then tell them you're enjoying being engaged and don't want to be too overwhelmed too quickly. When you keep wedding talk to a minimum and change the subject, they'll get the hint.

Welcome and good luck planning. Most of the ladies on this board are very helpful and very nice. If you start venturing out elsewhere, I can't always promise the same, but know that *most* people are helping in their own way. This is an exciting time and if you feel like you just want to talk wedding wedding wedding, come here to do it.

NO2012 · January 2012

"Welcome and good luck planning. Most of the ladies on this board are very helpful and very nice. If you start venturing out elsewhere, I can't always promise the same, but know that *most* people are helping in their own way. This is an exciting time and if you feel like you just want to talk wedding wedding wedding, come here to do it."

Thanks! I have been posting on TK on my local boards actively for many months and here on the September board (not quite as active) for the last couple of months. The ladies here are great, helpful, and non-judgmental. That's why I posted this here instead of elsewhere. I hope that my increase in posting activity here is not part of the "suspicious" activity that was commented on yesterday. lol.

adktd2boots · January 2012

No, but you've been a member since 2003?

NO2012 · January 2012

I joined TK way back then when a friend was getting married and we were looking at dresses for her. I don't know if it is still the case, but back then TK would only let you look at so many dresses without an account, then prompt you to join to keep looking. Since that time I haven't used it until last year when I started planning my own wedding.