Should I Invite My Boss?

kellycatalo

So, I've been debating inviting my boss for a LONG time. a very LONG time. here's the facts:

1. he has been my boss for two years, so he has known my like backstory of when we bought a house, when we got engaged, etc. he has been very into hearing about my wedding planning I think just because he is a genuine person (and he helped plan his own) and I consider him a good friend. He is about 15 years older than me, is married and has kids, but I think that if he was closer in age and not my boss, we would probably hang out more with him and his wife.
2. i have hung out with him on occasion, mostly at work events, but a couple times we organized a happy hour event for our group. he has met dan a couple times at these functions.
3. i've received christmas cards from his family, seen pictures of his kids, heard stories about them, etc. our relationship is not solely boss-employee, i would consider him a friend.
4. i am not inviting anyone else from work, i am just not that close to anyone.
5. dan is only inviting one work friend and his wife, but they are our age and we have gone on a couple double-dates with them.

so, will it be weird to just invite my boss and his family? will it look like i'm sucking up? it's just that he is the only person i feel sort of close to at work, and i have shared a lot of my wedding planning and ideas with him. i'm not sure who they would sit with, but when i think about it, i think i would like to have them there sharing this day with us.

FWIW, Dan's boss will also be there, but that is because he is really good friends with my Dad, so my dad is inviting him, not dan.

Kello4221

I am not inviting anyone from work and neither is FI, we both started new jobs in Oct anyways. But if you want them to share in your day I think it is totally okay, it sounds like if you left the company you would still keep in touch so I count that as more than a coworker, he would count as a friend. Since you are only inviting your boss I think that is easier to handle than only inviting some people that are at the same level. It isn't like he is gonna come back into the office the weekend after the wedding and talk about it. Actually I would try and make sure others didn't even know he was invited!

ErinW1912

I invited my bosses, I have two from the resort and then my dance coach (who is technically my boss since I work at the studio) Then again I did invite some coworkers as well that I do stuff outside work with. I never thought my two bosses from the resort would come since it is a 3 hour drive but when they got my save the date they said they probably would come and my coworkers plan on coming as well but they are girls and going to travel together. I guess it depends if you feel comfortable inviting him and his wife, it sounds like you have more then a boss-employee relationship with recieving christmas cards and talking about your lives outside of work so I think it would be fine. 

CowgirlK39

I think it depends where you work. From what I recall, you have a pretty professional job (right?). Make sure that being friends with your boss and inviting him will not affect any professionalism. Make sure your coworkers are not aware of his invitation and I would maybe even say to him "hey, if you don't mind, please do not mention the invite in front of the team. I just don't want anyone getting upset or jealous that they were not invited."

I am inviting the farmers that I work for and their mom (who is technically "president" of the "company"). However, we aren't a big business with stuffy professionalism, and we legitimately are friends. Actually, the one farmer was offended when i introduced him to someone as my boss. They have done so much to help me out, even lending me a truck when I got in my accident, that I don't even consider them bosses. However, I would never ever in a million years invite my FT job boss. I have to maintain a professional, serious relationship with him and even though we can joke around, he is definitely a "Boss" in every sense of the word. So it really depends on the atmosphere of your company.

doublenn

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2012-weddings_should-i-invite-my-boss?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:a464c18c-2e4d-469b-8eae-3865079cb9cfDiscussion:2a9e9057-5083-47d7-885a-ffa6f19640c0Post:c4de806b-3561-418a-8bfa-3601629b31f3">Should I Invite My Boss?</a>:
[QUOTE] i'm not sure who they would sit with, but when i think about it, i think i would like to have them there sharing this day with us.
Posted by kellycatalo[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I think that's the most important piece. It doesn't matter that he's your boss, or that you're not inviting other coworkers. You'd like him at your wedding because he's an important part of your life (and you probably spend a decent amount of time together!). I'd invite him, if I were in your shoes, but I'd also be prepared for him to decline.</div><div>
</div>

L&K2012

I think inviting your boss is fine if you are friendly with him.  I am inviting my current boss who is only 3 years older than me and I was actually friendly with prior to him being my boss as well as my previous boss who is closer to my mothers age but I have a VERY close relationship with; I still get together with her for lunches and happy hours.  I also work in a very professional environment (finance group in a fortune 500 company).  I am only inviting one other co-worker, but I am very close with her (get together with her and another group of friends on a regular basis).  My other co-workers I am not close with so I have no guilt about not inviting them.

One thing I would be leary about however is 'keeping it a secret' as some of the PPs have mentioned.  Although I totally understand why they would say this, I think if you really feel you have to keep it a secret then best not to do it at all.  At some point, somehow, your coworkers will find out he was invited (especially if he comes), and if you intentionally kept it a secret that would be A LOT more awkard (and might seem like you did it to suck up more so than if you were honest about it).  Best bet is to just be open and honest about inviting him, if this is what you choose to do.  That doesn't mean you have to go advertise that you invited him, but if someone asks certainly don't try and skirt the truth.   Also, I imagine if one of my direct reports invited me to their wedding and asked me to keep it a secret I would feel very uncomfortable with this (in addition it would make me trust this person less as now they are asking me to be potentially deceiptful). 

Hope this helps....

LawyerLover810

I asgree with PP that if you want him there, you should invite him. I also agree that you probably shouldn't keep it a secret, but I wouldn't draw attention to it either. Good luck!

kellycatalo

thanks for all your comments and suggestions. i really don't think it would ever come up in conversation, honestly. i am around everyone i work with/within hearing distance, so i'm pretty sure none of them will be talking/thinking about my wedding. so i don't think it should be hard for him to just not mention it.

prettypictures

It's def. okay to invite your boss. I'm inviting all my co-workers... but my mom is also making all the food from home, so it's not really costing much per person either. 

Go with your gut. I say invite him.

MrsBassPlaya

I was taught that you invite your boss, regardless.  It's the right thing to do, whether you're close friends or not.  I don't think it's awkward if you invite your boss and not other coworkers.  Go for it.  I'll be inviting my boss and FI will be inviting his because they are our bosses.  As of right now, we don't think we'll be inviting coworkers.

alliashley

I think as much time as you spend with your co-workers/boss then you should definitely invite them/him if you get along well with them.