My Last Birthday As Me

AnnamarieZTA

So this past week I have been struggling with the fact that tomorrow is my 25th birthday and my last birthday with my last name and my identity. I feel like its a huge deal and no one gets it! I just want this one to be extra special. It has seriously affected my mood and my family and FI have noticed but didn't really accept my reasoning. Maybe I'm just being crazy and letting this stuff get to me too much but has this happened to anyone else?

mamameech

Wellll I spent my 25th birthday... crying... because I was pregnant, feeling very alone and my father wouldn't talk to me (he wasn't happy about my "development" lol). I knew that nothing would ever be the same again. BUT, I never imagined how much BETTER life was going to be. Every birthday since has only been better and my life has only improved over time.

All I'm saying is that I can totally understand you anxiety, and it ok to feel it, but don't forget to think about how good life is and how it's only going to get better!
(and don't ever lose YOU!)

smartlypretty

Are you sure that you want to change your last name? Don't feel like this is something that you *need* to do. Lots of people don't change theirs- it's becoming way more common. 

In the beginning of our engagement, I wasn't planning on changing my last name. We aren't planning on having children, so I didn't need to worry about a "family name". I"m also a scientist so I have my maiden name on some publications. Eventually though, I decided "what the heck?" I do want us to have the same last name, and I'll make it work on my CV. I'm not very attached to my last name. It's strange sounding, difficult to spell on the phone (lots of Z, C, S sounds), and starts with a Z (always last). I don't see this as my "identity" at all. A name doesn't make a person. 

So what I"m saying is, just think about it. 

AnnamarieZTA

Thank you! I always think about how much better life will be when we are married but for some reason I pushed it aside and got a little selfish with this birthday. I do want to change my name because, well, the family my last name came from doesn't really accept me or my brother and well we couldn't have my moms maiden name. My FI's family adores me and I'm excited to have their last name. I just wanted this one to be beyond special. However I'm sure the next ones will be even better with a husband, then a family and who knows what else! Thank you for the optimistic view! Also, so sorry to hear about your 25th birthday but I am so happy that the others have been amazing for you!!

calindi

Don't look at it as losing something - you will always be who you are.  It worries me that you say you're losing your identity.  If you feel that way, don't change your name!  I would never allow myself to lose my identity.

I got all excited on my birthday because it was my last birthday as a single lady, and I am just so excited to have my HUSBAND spoil me rotten on my next birthday!

Try not to look at it as an ending, but rather a beginning.  If it isn't something wonderful to be excited about, but rather to mourn what's been, then perhaps that's telling you something?

jessa1228

I didn't even think about my birthday being my last as a "miss" until my MOH pointed it out to me. I guess it's not a huge deal to me, but I totally see where you're coming from.

island07b2b

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2012-weddings_my-last-birthday-as-me?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:a464c18c-2e4d-469b-8eae-3865079cb9cfDiscussion:3c562481-15cc-4526-bcb3-baca9a835680Post:05541502-815b-4d3f-a715-f5fbca7a7cdb">Re: My Last Birthday As Me</a>:
[QUOTE]I didn't even think about my birthday being my last as a "miss" until my MOH pointed it out to me. I guess it's not a huge deal to me, but I totally see where you're coming from.
Posted by jessa1228[/QUOTE]

I didn't think about my birthday being the last one as me either last November.  Apparently it wasn't that big of deal to me either.  You may be changing your last name but not who you are.  :)

apaulke2687

I had this issue last month. But most of my problem was the turning 25 thing. I HATE the idea of getting older and not being where I planned on being so I was trying to ignore this one. But it was kind of sad too to think that was the last "single" birthday and next year will be weird. I kind of wish FI and I were move of the going out type so I could have made it a more fun celebratory day but ehh... I spent it with FI and the kids which I love more! Happy Birthday! Try to enjoy it!

Keyneky

Just think of it as an evolution. You aren't losing something, you're adding something wonderful. If you feel that your identity is tied to your name then don't change your name.

My 26th birthday was my last birthday before I had a baby and I didn't even know it. Sometimes I wish I had lived it up a little more but then again that's around the time that I got pregnant so I guess I lived it up quite a lot. LOL

I get one last birthday as a 'single' woman (a month before we get married) but my fiance will not because we'll be marrying the weekend before his birthday and on his last birthday we didn't know we'd be getting married in a year.

Ciardasully

I am quite a bit older than 25 (33) but I was thinking about the whole changing my last name thing yesterday.  I am not sad, it's just different.  I used to be into politics and ran for office under this name (in a different state though) and now I will, in some sense, have a different identity.  I no longer do politics  (too many bad people) so I am okay leaving that persona behind.

The funny thing is I have a common name.  White pages says there are about 300 people in the US with my name.  It's hard to find me on google without adding something to the search that would pull me out.  I googled what my name will be when I am married and there is 1 person in the US with that name living in California.  I am losing my anonymity!