Fish Ceremony

apaulke2687

Okay ladies, I need your google skills. FI has three kids and we were looking to do a fish ceremony with them as something different compared to the typical sand ones. We will have 5 little fish and each add ours to a big bowl. It fits us because we always have fish. Problem is I would like to come up with a reading/story/etc. to explain what we are doing. I can't find anything online. (not the best at searching) We are not overly religious so I'd like to keep away from that if possible. Please help!
Posted on FB, but thought I'd put this here too in case anyone is searching in the future for the same thing!

BubbsNBubbs

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2012-weddings_fish-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:a464c18c-2e4d-469b-8eae-3865079cb9cfDiscussion:3d201279-920f-44d4-b682-e6899bb04dd1Post:e9946cb2-6772-435f-9c84-1ef9cf948bd4">Fish Ceremony</a>:
[QUOTE]Okay ladies, I need your google skills. FI has three kids and we were looking to do a fish ceremony with them as something different compared to the typical sand ones. We will have 5 little fish and each add ours to a big bowl. It fits us because we always have fish. Problem is I would like to come up with a reading/story/etc. to explain what we are doing. I can't find anything online. (not the best at searching) We are not overly religious so I'd like to keep away from that if possible. Please help! Posted on FB, but thought I'd put this here too in case anyone is searching in the future for the same thing!
Posted by apaulke2687[/QUOTE]

Honestly...I wouldn't do this.  What happens when one of the "family fish" dies?? This could go very badly.

I would either go with a sand ceremony, (sand doesn't die!YAY) or perhaps a hand fastening? Or give them each a nice peice of "wedding jewelry"?

I don't know what your time limits are...but you could have a quilt made for each of them with fabric that represents each of you?

calindi

I like the idea of the sand ceremony for this situation.  I can't see how the fish symbolize your family unity, but the sand - you're all still individuals, melting your lives together in a permanent way.  While you all still maintain your individual color, by becoming a family, you are forever united to each other. 

It's also a way to not piss off their mother, if she's still in the picture.  She's also very much a part of their lives as their mother, and if I were the mother watching my kids be part of their father's second marriage ceremony, I'd be okay with something like the sand ceremony which shows that they're all becoming intertwined, but not something that excludes me from the family picture - or family bowl, in this case.  Does that make sense?

If their mother is no longer in their lives, I think you can do something about becoming a bonded family if you're planning to adopt them or something.  But that's a different ceremony and celebration - when you do adopt them, you can focus on that.

I've also seen kids given a necklace or bracelet to symbolize the step-parent's dedication to being a good role model and co-parent, not replacing what they already have but adding to their lives as an extra candle (if you're inside, this might be cute to do somehow) brings more light to a room, rather than deminishes the power of the existing candles.