A damper on plans

Britt&Allan

My FI and I got into a big argument today resulting in him blaming me for us being in debt because I wanted all this jewlery (which I didn't ask for) and that my engagment ring that HE bought put us more in debt and that he should have reconsidered getting it. Also said I pressured him into proposing finally, but he won't take back the ring and I can't give it back. Of course I've been hysterical and upset all day.  I thought I'd just vent a little and hoping I could get a little support from fellow knotties

barbbhoww

Oh man, that is so hard.  Give it some time.  Aren't you glad we GET an engagement period to work out these things??  You'll know when the time is right to rationally talk about everything and come up with a plan. 

Keep us updated and good luck!

Britt&Allan

Seriously! We're just not talking right now so we can both cool down. I have quite the temper and I don't want to ruin this by saying something irrational. We'll probably talk about this in the next few days, hopefully

happe2gether

Sorry to hear you are having some problems right now.  I can't even tell you the number of arguments FI and I have had (not wedding related though) that made one or both of us say something that would make you think we wouldn't be together.  Fighting, unfortunately,  is  a part of life.  Agreeing with ppl.  Take a few days, let things settle and then talk things out.  A tip I learned a LONG time ago, take the discussion somewhere else besides your house, if you share it.  The reason is that the negative energy that brings eventually makes the home feel like the "arguing spot".  So take it to a park, to a restaurant, just somewhere besiides your home where you can both discuss what's really going on.  And if he is worried about the cost of the wedding, do things one thing at a time to alleviate the big bill at the end.  If you know some of your details, get stuff you can afford now and maybe that will help with the eventual cost of everything.

Good luck!!!

Britt&Allan

Thankfully we worked things out. I started acting cheery which made him feel like a complete a** for what he said and without me prompting he apologized and I said thank you. I explained to him how what he said really hurt me for XYZ reasons. We're doing much better now thankfully.
Thanks for the help!

barbbhoww

Good!  Communication is key!