Vent (long sorry)

kmschuler

Happy Thursday Ladies!

One of my BM who has also been my best friend for 18 years and driving me nuts!  She was a little harsh at the biggining because she was not MOH but I choose my SIL because I wanted a family member to be MOH and me and my bestfriend have died off a little with in the last few years because we are at different stages in our life.  I am ready to settle down and she is party party party!

Last night I ask her, would you like to be invited to my side of the shower or FI side of the shower.  She replies with well arent you having a friends shower.  I say I have not heard of anyone throwing a friends shower and I am not going to make anyone, I am very blessed to already be having two showers.  She then replies with well that is the MOH job (very VERY snooty).  I say again I am not asking anyone to throw me a friends shower I dont  think MOH is able to throw a shower all by herself physically and finacially, she would need help.  BM then replies with well looks like you just made a great choice for you MOH.  I had to bite my tounge there were so many things I wanted to say!  BM has not been there for one thing (which I am not upset with I understand you have to work and other things to do).  But if you cant be there for ANYTHING dont dash on someone else because they are not going to throw a shower when I am already having 2!

lbarr088

That's frustrating.  It's really hard to make everyone happy, especially when it comes to weddings.  You handled the situation very gracefully.  If she wasn't in the wedding party I would say stop discussing wedding details with her.  Since she is, talk about what's absolutely necessary (for her being in the WP) and avoid all else.  If you still feel like you want to talk to her about all wedding related stuff, just expect this.  She sounds like a blast.

CowgirlK39

Let her throw her little temper tantrum about not being MOH because it doesn't really matter. She can talk as much crap as she wants, it has no effect on the plans. You are wise for not saying anything, and best to keep doing so. It always amazes me when people feel entitled to certain things when they have no reason to think that!

josephwedding

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2012-weddings_vent-long-sorry?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:a464c18c-2e4d-469b-8eae-3865079cb9cfDiscussion:64e88588-4ff0-4398-8a68-5b5d27b60abaPost:ff57b34a-916d-4d41-a23f-77808b9911b3">Re: Vent (long sorry)</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>Let her throw her little temper tantrum about not being MOH because it doesn't really matter. She can talk as much crap as she wants, it has no effect on the plans.</strong> You are wise for not saying anything, and best to keep doing so. It always amazes me when people feel entitled to certain things when they have no reason to think that!
Posted by CowgirlK39[/QUOTE]

<div>100% agree with cowgirl. </div><div>
</div><div>All she needs to do is buy her dress and show up to the wedding clean, in her dress, & sober. Good on you for just letting her have a hissy fit & not saying anything. Just pick a shower & invite her. If she shows, she shows, If she doesn't, oh well. </div>

volleygurl0306

You were very graceful in how you handled this!  I think it is ridiculous for people to expect the MOH to do anything anyways!  My MOH is throwing my bachelorette party so when it came to my shower , another friend (who isn't even in the WP) said she'd help my mom and family friend who are throwing it for me.  And, I'm only having one.  I think you are 100% right about not asking anyone to throw you one (which would be really rude).  If she wanted to be a good friend, she'd be the one throwing it (or at least offering to help the MOH throw it) regardless of her title.  She seems to not understand what an honor it is to be a BM at all.  I think you made the right choice in a MOH!

BMcLeodTeam

I agree with PPs, you handled that situation REALLY well! Just let her have her temper tantrums and she'll eventually accept that nothing is changing

akbrown19

in my experience no matter who you pick there are going to be some hurt feelings right now but in a year... 5 years... 10 years people won't really even remember it. unless they hold a grudge about it but then you likely won't be friends with them anymore. i hope in the end she will show up appropriately dressed and express her happiness for you on your big day. if that's all you expect, you hopefully won't be disappointed!

MrsBassPlaya

You handled this really well.  It sucks that she feels how she does, but there's not a whole lot you can do to change how she feels.  Kudos to you for handling it like you did, and sorry your friend is acting so childish.