September 2012 Weddings
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Post-wedding blues

Hi ladies!

I got married Saturday and it was a total blast! I had the time of my life. I just wanted to take a minute and reflect on something that many of you may not have thought about or may not have been warned about. I don't mean to crash the party or make anybody feel down, but I really wish someone had at least planted this seed in my mind before the wedding so it didn't come as such a rush.

The minute we unlocked the door and I went upstairs after arriving from our flight home yesterday, I completely broke down in tears. It could have been the result of many feelings - sadness that it was all over, missing all the wonderful family/friends/guests that attended our amazing event, relief that I could finally breathe without being in that dress, a sinking feeling of "what next", complete exhaustion from the week's events... etc. In fact, it was probably a mix of all of those things and more.

Post wedding blues is a normal feeling and it will probably set in for many of us after the big day. Yes, I've only been married for 3 days but it hit me like a ton of bricks and I had no idea how to cope. I am sure I'll be feeling some of these emotions throughout the coming months as I adjust to not being constantly asked about the wedding or making plans with vendors or anticipating how my many projects/handmade items will look on the big day.

For me, it was most helpful to accept that I am allowed to feel down and to let myself have it out. I really do miss all my friends and family, some of whom I rarely see, and it was a floodgate of emotion to have to say goodbye to everyone at once. I still felt really down (and exhausted) this morning before returning to work and throughout the day. But another thing I found that really helps is trying to do things as I normally do, getting back into the routine of daily life, cherishing the little things (my favorite Starbucks baristas serving my usual certainly helped). Last, take comfort in your new husband. If anyone else understands this extreme high and the letdown shortly after, it will be him. And for the next (hopefully) 50 years, you'll be needing each other in times like these.

So grab a kiss from your new hubby and look forward to the honeymoon. At least, that's my plan for now. Taking it day by day and remembering that there is plenty more of life to enjoy even though the "big day" is over. There will be many opportunities to enjoy the photos when we get them back, to rejoice in our friends' and family members' big days, and to revel in the adventure that our life together will be. Best wishes to everybody as your days draw near!

Re: Post-wedding blues

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    It's a very emotional time. No worries. I suffered postpartum depression after my babies, so I'm prepared.
    -First came baby, Then came love, Now here comes marraige in the marriage carriage??-
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    Its definitely a time FULL of emotions, both highs and lows! Thanks for the words of experience :)
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    I'm glad you shared this, as I'm sure many women out there aren't expecting it.  It's why there's a whole board for Wedding Withdrawal!

    Personally, I'm happy as can be, but I was expecting the let down.  It may still come, but I don't have any regrets for how the day went, and I think I'm the type of person who can really enjoy something without holding on to it too tightly, so I do think I'll just continue to simmer happily in the afterglow for a bit before things just settle down to normal happy life together.  Just try to keep it all in perspective - it was a really awesome party, and you'll look back on it fondly forever.  But the party was the celebrate the start of your lives together, and that's something really special.

    Oh, and married sex rocks!

    image

    Anniversary

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    Thanks for sharing! I had never heard this before but can certainly see why it could happen!
     
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    I also got married on Saturday and  I have honestly cried a little bit each day since the wedding except for one and that day I spent with HUBS and his family.  Doesn't help I am hormonal from my period either.  I was really upset to see Best Man and my bridesmaid leave(they were back just for the wedding) and went back to the army base in virgina.  That hit me hard.  I was so overwhelmed the whole day I kind of felt like I didn't get to enjoy myself.  Which really got to me.  I am upset that I let my family get to me and I really didn't have anyone that sat beside me the whole day and comforted me(I didn't have a good support system).  The only one who could comfort me was MIL and HUBS and she was out taking pictures and I obviously couldn't see HUBS(but I did get to call him).  I am purely exhausted and haven't gotten a good nights sleep in a week and now we are running around with our heads cut off trying to get ready for the cruise in two days.  My HUBS keeps telling me I feel terrible you have been my wife for four days and every day you have been crying.  I know I will get through this and he is there for me.  I also take comfort in the fact that I married into a wonderful family that accepts me for who I am and doesn't nit pick me apart every two seconds.
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    we2012we2012 member
    First Comment
    edited September 2012
    I heard about "Wedding Cake for Breakfast"  on NPR a couple of months before our wedding.  It's a great book of essays on the first year of marriage and how the experience is different for everyone.  Sometimes things will happen exactly as you planned the first year, or it could be worse than you imagined.  The point is that you have to remember that you married your husband "for better or for worse", and you can overcome the depression, anxiety, and any other obstacles as long as you stick together.

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