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September 2012 Weddings

Post-Wedding Issue

My wedding was on 9/29 and it was absolutely perfect! We were able to set up the reception space on Friday afternoon so I spent the morning of relaxing and getting ready with my bridesmaids and did not feel stressed at all! It was an amazing day and everything went as planned. I am loving married life and finally sharing a home with my hubby! :)

Here is my issue: before the wedding I told all of my BM's that a hairdresser would be available if they would like to use her and it would be $30 to get their hair done but if they didn't want to use her it was completely okay. They all said that they would like to use her and that $30 was a good price. Flash forward to wedding day- everyone gets their hair done as planned and I overhear a couple of the girls discussing whether they think hairdresser will take a check. After everyone gets their hair done and hairdresser is about to leave, I hear my mom asking her how much she owes and writing her a check. At no point during the day did any of my BM's step up to say to hairdresser, "Okay how should we pay you" ect. I don't even know if they know my mom paid because not a single one of them even thanked her or asked about paying. Frankly I am appalled and find this very rude. My mom says what's done is done and she is fine with it but I am fuming because they all came there knowing that if they used the hairdresser it would be $30 and none of them bothered to find out how to handle the payment. Then to not even thank my mom, who also paid for their dresses and shoes as well, seems awfully rude to me.

What would you ladies do? Just let it go or say something?
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Re: Post-Wedding Issue

  • wow! I would be pissed too if I was you! I'm probably the wrong person to give advise on this becuase I tend to let my anger take over. But... I would probably rip into each and everyone of them!  Then again, it may cause a very unnecessary argument (possibly end a friendship?)
  • Yeah, I think I need to just let it go because it's pointless to confront them about it and my mom didn't mind paying but I just felt I needed to vent to some females because DH wasn't much help besides saying, "Well that was crappy of them." lol I just feel angry because I my mom did so much by paying for their dresses and shoes and for them to not even thank her... wow!
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  • Wow, you totally have reason to be upset by the situtation. That being said, as PP said, saying something might actually risk ending a friendship.... if that's something you're willing to risk then ok, if not I'd just let it go
  • I'm a bit of a coward so I would feign ignorance and nonchalantly say to each one "oh hey BM, did you ever pay the hair dresser? I never heard anything about it so I have no idea!" And no matter what they say, don't get angry at them. Hopefully the guilt will hurt more than any words you could say.
  • I agree with PP!
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  • I personally think it is fair to simply ask them to pay your mom back.  Not in an angry and hostile way.  Just a "hey, I would really appreciate it if you could bring the $30 you owe my mom when we meet for coffee this weekend."  Depends on your mom too.  If this is my mom, she is too nice to ask people for money, even if it was making things tight for her.  I would say something on behalf of her because it isn't my call to say what debts can be written off to someone else (if you paid for it, it would totally be your call to say oh well).  Also, if they didn't pay for their dresses or their shoes, asking for them to pay only $30 is nothing compared to what most BM agree to to be in a wedding.  As long as you stay calm about it, I don't think it is inappropriate.
  • Oh no. I would not let this go. It’s pretty messed up of your friends to take advantage of your mom in this way. If your mom paid for their complete attire they probably went to get their hair done with plans of screwing her over again.

    I would call them and ask to pay her back. The y have no reason to be mad or offended, they knew what it was gonna cost and they agreed. The least they can do is Thank you mom for EVERYTHING.



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