Had a bridezilla moment last night

CowgirlK39

I finally got to talk to one of my BM, and we spent most of the time catching up about whats been going on with her. She has been dealing with a really bad break up and it was good to hear she was doing better with it all. But then she told me that MOH went down to see her and they began planning my bachellorette party. I was shocked for a number of reasons: First, I don't really want one... I think they are kinda tacky and I hate attention so I was hoping they wouldnt do it. Also, my MOH and this BM have been friends of mine since childhood. We were seriously nerdy when we were kids but I grew out of it... they didn't. They are very successful, smart, gorgeous girls, but their social skills are not so hot. Whenever we get together we end up doing things that involve only us, because they do not know what to do in a bar/party/club situation. I have seen them be very rude and nasty to "common people" because they think they are "low class." Meanwhile, I hang out with rednecks and am friends with just about everyone in town. Its frustrating that I always have to do what they want to do because they don't get along with regular joes.

So I am worried about their party plans. My FI said I should be happy they are doing this, and yes I am grateful I have awesome BM's and that they want to do this but I'd almost rather they not. I actually thought of just having a get together instead, and using a free limo certificate I got before they even got the chance to plan this all but it looks like they beat me to it.

Can someone knock some sense into me please??

akbrown19

IMO, if your BMs are "nerdy" as you say and uncomfortable in bars/clubs they are not likely to take you to a bar/club to have a crazy night out.

I didn't want a bachelorette party either but one of my BMs told me this weekend that all the BMs agreed they really wanted to throw me one. However, MOH clued me in (she is really not into bars/clubs either) that they'd like do a winery trip, which would be so awesome, I'm so relieved.

I would say let them throw you a party because they are probably really looking forward to it like my BMs, but talk to your MOH - let her know you don't feel really comfortable wearing a bunch of phallis shaped objects or having some crazy night out. She'll probably understand because she'll want the party to be a success too, and you being comfortable is an important part of that.

lbarr088

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2012-weddings_had-a-bridezilla-moment-last-night?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:a464c18c-2e4d-469b-8eae-3865079cb9cfDiscussion:7a7809c3-766a-41ab-bc4b-8543a08afb40Post:81c95d1c-db5a-4c18-861e-afa3bad59dcc">Re: Had a bridezilla moment last night</a>:
[QUOTE]IMO, if your BMs are "nerdy" as you say and uncomfortable in bars/clubs they are not likely to take you to a bar/club to have a crazy night out.
Posted by akbrown19[/QUOTE]

<div>This exactly.  </div><div>
</div><div>I don't really want one either and I've expressed that but if they want to do something I'm not going to tell them "no."  I think the fact that I have expressed that I don't really want one will emphasize low key... I'm hoping.  Have a conversation with your BMs and feel it out.  You never know, it might end up being a fun time.</div>

[Deleted User]

I agree with PPs.  If your BMs are not the type of people to go to a bar then they are not going to plan your bachelorette at one.  I told my sisters that I didn't want a bachelorette either bc I don't drink anymore and didn't want to go out on the town bc I'm older and just over the whole bar scene.  My FI let it slip that they are planning one for me anyway and when I told him I was nervous he said that it wasn't a bachelorette party and more of a girls day.  I'm excited now bc I could use some girl time!

mamameech

I saw just roll with it. If you are the more easy going one, that shouldn't too hard right? Keep an open mind and be grateful. I think it means more for people who do struggle with social skills to make that kind of effort for someone they care about, so you should feel honoured

volleygurl0306

I agree with PP.  This is one of the wedding things you don't get to control.  You can veto certain things if they make you uncomfortable (tell them no strip clubs for instance) but the details are a BM (esp the MOH's) privilege.  One thing you DO get a say in is the guest list.  I'd be more concerned of who they invite than what they are planning if they are low-key but judgemental.  Since the bill is split it shouldn't make a huge difference to them who is invited since it is for you.  So, if you want to invite your redneck friends, they are just going to have to suck up hanging out with those girls for the night.  I'd send them a guest list ASAP.

CowgirlK39

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2012-weddings_had-a-bridezilla-moment-last-night?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:a464c18c-2e4d-469b-8eae-3865079cb9cfDiscussion:7a7809c3-766a-41ab-bc4b-8543a08afb40Post:1b694782-9b1a-4273-a4da-e862dc2ba6cf">Re: Had a bridezilla moment last night</a>:
[QUOTE]I agree with PPs.  <strong>If your BMs are not the type of people to go to a bar then they are not going to plan your bachelorette at one</strong>.  I told my sisters that I didn't want a bachelorette either bc I don't drink anymore and didn't want to go out on the town bc I'm older and just over the whole bar scene.  My FI let it slip that they are planning one for me anyway and when I told him I was nervous he said that it wasn't a bachelorette party and more of a girls day.  I'm excited now bc I could use some girl time!
Posted by LoriG41[/QUOTE]

I was using a bar as an example of a social situation. I don't <em>want</em> the whole "going to the bar with a sash and beads around me" stuff... thats tacky IMO. I was merely saying that unlike most women in their mid 20s they do not even go into any situation like that where they just may have to interact with other people. I almost died years ago when my MOH went on a tirade at a resturant, calling the waitress "low-class, minimum-wage trash" simply because her order was wrong.

Thanks girls, I just need some clarity I guess. Whatever they do, it will probably nice and thoughtful, and I appreciate it, but it will probably a little... tame.

romamor4

I just want to echo want the other girls said. Your BMs will most likely not do anything out of your comfort zone. I emphasize that you should let them know what is out of your comfort zone, though. For example, I told my MOH that I HATE having attention on me in public areas. So the whole penis around your neck and being challenged to go up to random people and say stuff to them because of a game is just not my cup of tea and I won't laugh at it. In fact, I will become quite angry if forced into a situation like that even if it's all in good fun to them. I'm just not like that. My MOH got the picture and is planning an AWESOME day out with the girls doing a retro pin-up photo shoot! Later on we will be meeting the guys at a boat in Chicago where there will be live jazz music. I am soooo happy about this! Just communicate to your WP and I'm sure they will be more than happy to make sure you are comfortable.