September 2012 Weddings

guest list dilemma!

we've started putting together the guest list. we're running into challenges with my cousins. I have about 20 first cousins, ranging in age from 30 to 10. i'm having a difficult time drawing the line. Our wedding is going to be held at my parent's house in the country  - it's going be outdoors, casual and fun. But still, it's a wedding celebration and I don't want it turning into a HS party.  I don't want to run into the problem of my HS aged cousins wanting to bring their boyfriends and girlfriends.

I wanted to implement an 18 and older policy, but my mom seems to think that it is wrong. because in the families with multiple kids, there is going to be only 1 kid left out. I guess I kind of agree. I'm just torn. Should I just suck it up and invite everyone?  And do I need to let my cousins bring their HS boyfriends and g-friends?  Obviously, the older ones that are in relationship, but I don't want some pimply-faced teenager that I've never met attending my wedding and trying to sneak some beers :)
09.08.12

Re: guest list dilemma!

  • I am the same way, I dont want my or my FI cousins to bring around "hoes" or one night stands, etc.  So to eliminate that we are only giving +1 to guest who have been in a long term relationship.  It is tough but you have to draw a line somewhere.

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  • Haha.  I totally get what you're saying.  I wouldn't want that either.  I would also have a difficult time leaving out 1 kid in a family.  I would suggest inviting your whole family and just giving a +1 to the adults.  Or you could even narrow the people who are given a +1 down to people in serious relationships (engaged, dating more than a year, etc.).

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  • That is what we did. We are telling people how many they can bring. Besides married couples, only 2 people in our wedding party have been dating someone for some time and they are the only ones allowed. I wouldn't ever let my teenage cousins bring some other rando teen with them to such an important day. It was easy for us to draw the line because our venue is so strict on numbers we could use that as our excuse, lol.
  • We had this problem as well. My family is huge! And we wanted to keep our numbers at 100 and we arent inviting kids. So in order to do this I ended up not inviting any cousins at all. My cousins are all on the younger side anyways so I didn't have a problem with it. And to me this day is about us so I would rather have people that I want to celebrate with there as opposed to having younger cousins just for the sake of having them there. In the end its your day so you do what you want and the others will get over it.
  • We are inviting +1s only for those out of highschool at this point. This was a good 'cut off' for us because the only highschool age were grade 9/10 so it left a clear line for them :)
  • I think you should make it if they are over 18 and have a SO then they get to bring that SO.
  • edited March 2012
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2012-weddings_guest-list-dilemma?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:a464c18c-2e4d-469b-8eae-3865079cb9cfDiscussion:7c0cc6cc-3ea9-4a56-801f-347048df4cf7Post:6ea5201b-c99c-4ce8-ae08-5b9c095eebbe">Re: guest list dilemma!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I think you should make it if they are over 18 and have a SO then they get to bring that SO.
    Posted by AshnRobo[/QUOTE]

    This!  And, even if they are over 18, if they aren't in an exclusive relationship, they don't need a plus 1.
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