bridesmaid issue and question on dress color

ErinW1912

So I am super picky and only find one bridesmaids dress I really like. It is an alfred angelo dress for $150 all my bridesmaids like the dress but 1 out of my 4 does not like the price. 2 of them do not think the price is bad at all and the other one said if that is the dress she will save up she has 7 months to do so. The bridesmaid that is objecting is my sister. She is in a freinds wedding in July and does not make a whole lot of money. My issue is that she is local and 2 of my bridesmaids have to fly in, rent a car and pay for 2 nights in a hotel. When my sister got married 6 years ago our aunt made the bridesmaids dresses but there were only 2 of us and both local. My sisters other attendant gained weight between the sizing and the dress being finished so my aunt had to re alter the dress two times before it fit her correctly. Because of that fiasco my aunt said she would not make my bridesmaids dresses-which I am fine wth and would not want to impose that on my aunt especially since two of mine are out of state. I feel like my sister thinks it is unfair that I am asking her to pay $150 for a bridesmaids dress when I only had to pay like $20 and that was for the material of my bridesmaids dress. I should probably state that my sister and I do not get along all that well and I have tried to include her but feel like she rather do stuff with her freind that is getting married then help me with mine which is fine. She may also feel slighted b/c she is not my MOH but I was not her MOH. I do not really know how to handle the situation I cannot really offer to buy her dress since I am paying half of mine.

Here is the dress


I was thinking of doing the dress in fuschia and the sash and underskirt box blue and then switching up the colors.
I showed a freind and she thinks all 4 girls should be in fuschia with the blue sash and not alternating b.c she does not really like the dress all box blue with fuschia sash.
The girls will be carrying white gerber daises with clear eyes. There are no really oceany blue flowers that is why I was thinking adding more blue by alternating the dress colors. The groomsmen will be in black tuxes and their vest and tie will match the color of the girls dress if we alternate other wise if we go all fuschia on girlsside the guys will wear ocean blue ties and vests. I just really think I like the concept of alternating colors. If you want to see the colors it is alfred angelo style 7014 fuschia and box blue.

Sorry for the lenght and the two questions

CowgirlK39

I love that dress... actually I had sent that link to my BM's some time ago and asked if they liked that one. The colors it is in now is kinda close to my colors, but Im using a darker green. So, I may be a little biased in my response .

I am not sure I like the alternating dress idea, personally. I think its kinda distracting. If you like that one I would put them all in that one, and maybe take off that flower on the sash and replace it with a different pin to set off who is your MOH. As for your sister, I don't think $150 is bad but if you know she is short on cash, but can't pay for the dress, maybe just pay for a little something. You don't have to even make it half, but ask "Ok if I put $50 towards it will that make it easier?" Do your parents know her situation? Would they be able to help? I know if you asked this on the WP board they would tear your head off and tell you to let her pick her own, but I never agree with that so I may be the odd one out with this advice. If the price is her only beef with the dress, then try any way you can to make it a little easier.

bridalmomma

While I think the price of your BMdress is not bad, I have to ask ... did you ask your BM's for their budget (what could they afford?) before you started looking at dresses?

kmschuler

My BM dress was also $150 which I didnt think was bad and neither did any of my BM ( I have 7).  But a thought is to ask the dress shop if they will give you 10% or 15% off if you order all your BM dresses through them.  The dress shop I went to offered 10% off if I got all my BM dresses through them and 20% off if I got all the BM and my dress from them.  I told my self that 20% was not going to influence me on getting a dress at this shop, but luckly I fell in love with on there so we all got 20% off!

So try talking to the dress shop, I am also with Cowgirl the WP board would tear you up, and tell you to let you girls pick their own dress, but I dont agree.

BMcLeodTeam

Just because $150 is bad to one person, doesn't mean its reasonable for another. Everyone has their own individual situations. Did you ask for their budgets privately beforehand? I personally wouldn't choose a dress that I knew someone couldn't afford at this time unless I was helping to pay for it, afterall when I asked my bridal party it was because they were the people who mattered most to me in my life, not because I thought they'd look good in the photos in the perfect dress.... Sorry if that sounded harsh, but I guess what I'm getting at is if you really want someone in the wedding party, I'd rather they be there in a different dress than not be able to be there.

ErinW1912

Yes, I asked them individual about their budget a month after I asked them to be in my wedding. Two said they did not care they would wear whatever at whatever price point it was my wedding. My MOH asked that it not be over $200 and so did my sister. Then my sister got asked to be in her freinds wedding after we had a set budget for the dresses. My aunt who made my sisters bridesmaids dresses has offered to buy her dress since she will not be making mine but I do not think that is right either and mom told my aunt no you are not going to buy her sister's bridesmaids dress. I feel like my mom, my aunt, my sister, and me all need to sit down and discuss it, I just do not know where to start  

romamor4

I agree, I think you all need to discuss it. And if your mother is telling your aunt not to help out with your sister's dress then maybe your mother should help out with it?

I agree with PP in that alternating those two strong colors would be a bit distracting. If the colors were less bright, it might work, but otherwise I think it would be too much. 

wcasar

Hmmm... Have you gone on a search for any used BM dress of that style? You may get lucky and find something used for your sister to wear. I may do that with some of my BM if they want to save money. 

If not, talk to the store and see if they do a discount since there are a couple girls purchasing dresses from there. Most of the stores are willing to at least do 10% off.

Good luck!

volleygurl0306

Even though your sister originally said $200 budget, if things change in her life, I think you should be sensitive to that.  While relatively, $150 isn't bad for a BM dress, everyone is in a different position.  I agreed to be in my brother's wedding over the summer (well more was told I was going to be in it).  I was never asked a budget and the dress they picked was "only" $115.  It was a stretch for me.  I didn't forsee all the costs and now I'm not sure I'll even be able to afford to go without borrowing money from my parents because of flights, hotels, a gift etc.  Your sister doesn't have these costs I know but my point is that sometimes you say an amount is okay not realizing how things add up or what else is going to pop up in life.  If you can't buy it for her or chip it, I think you should enlist your sister to help you find a new option.  Or, can the girls all have different Alfred Angelo dresses?