Piece of crap groomsmen

AngB1230

I really could use your advice my FH groomsmen are not returning my texts the wedding is next weeek and they haven't even planned a Bach party. All he wants to do is go golfing! They suck and I about to flip on them what should I do???

jjswin

I know how you feel and I would feel the same way, but unfortunately you can't get involved. A Bachelor party is an option and not a requirement as per etiquette. Not that I totally agree with that but that's what I have heard for a lot of people. You FI needs to deal with his groomsmen not you.

ejheart

Could you plan something for him instead? Maybe he would be happy if at least YOU went golfing with him. I know my FI would be.

kinseyann

I ended up planning (with help from my brothers so I could stay behind the scenes) a simple BBQ for my FI when his groomsmen in particular his BM (his brother btw) dropped the ball. I was going to stay out of it, but when I started to see FI getting upset when even his attempts with the groomsemen failed I couldn't help it.

ejheart

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2012-weddings_piece-of-crap-groomsmen?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:a464c18c-2e4d-469b-8eae-3865079cb9cfDiscussion:984603d9-f056-4b92-bb5e-6983d7b43b30Post:eb7d81e7-8a83-4bd0-a186-52d3d5bbc3dc">Re: Piece of crap groomsmen</a>:
[QUOTE]I ended up planning (with help from my brothers so I could stay behind the scenes) a simple BBQ for my FI when his groomsmen in particular his BM (his brother btw) dropped the ball. I was going to stay out of it, but when I started to see FI getting upset when even his attempts with the groomsemen failed I couldn't help it.
Posted by kinseyann[/QUOTE]

I think that's ok. You just did some slight encouraging/helping. Sometimes guys need a little push because they hate and/or aren't good at planning things.

futuremrscsr

My FI is having the same problem with his BM. I feel so bad for him because BM has been saying that he is going to plan a camping trip for bachelor party and has said he's going to stop by FI's work and get everyone's contact information but we are two weeks from the wedding and he still hasn't gotten the other GM's info. FI is disappointed because one of his other GM was really wanting to plan the bachelor party and FI kind of said well let BM take the lead on and then nothing got done. I feel like if BM didn't want to plan anything he should have just let the other GM plan something but now the other GM doesn't want to step on BM's toes so nothing is being planned!

gcoker

We've run into the same issue.  The BM was having trouble committing to a weekend for the bach party due to his work schedule.  Then he finally set a weekend for him and other groomsmen and friends to come to our hometown and have a guys night.  It's supposed to be tomorrow, but the BM contacted us last weekend and said he couldn't get off work and that they would have to plan something for after the wedding. 

I feel really sad for my FI.  He was really looking forward to this..

stephmw24

I feel you....FI's groomsmen SUCK (with the exception of two that have been on the ball). I was stressing hardcore about them paying off their tux rentals by the wedding and then I decided....whatever! And washed my hands of the stress. These are grown men, I'm not gonna stress about them, I'm so over it all. There's only one man I care that shows up on that day, if the GM show up (tuxes and all) then hurrah, but no more stresses if they don't. I'm over it. FI's BM is his brother (and one of the bridal party that hasn't paid for his tux rental yet)...he didn't plan a bachelor party either, even though he's been talking about it since we got engaged. My brother (another GM) stepped in and planned a bach party for Saturday night, so I'm happy for FI, he deserves a party.

shayna25

Wow.....I would say to talk to them and give them a nudge...but if they don't answer your texts or calls then there's not much more you can do.  

FI ended up basically doing his own bach party.  2 of his 3 GM (including BM) don't know how to keep a job, and so they had no way of paying for a party. FI actually paid their cover to get into the club.  I think it is really crappy, but atleast he had his party, even if we paid for it.

your FH can do what mine did, it kinda sucks in a way, but atleast he will have his party.

CowgirlK39

We had this same thing happen. FI posted a disappointed FB status about how he hadn't heard anything about a bach. His fire chief was so mad he vowed to throw one for FI. But the post got the GMs attention and one stepped in, but he was NOT thrilled. Our GMs all suck, and we were so upset that they couldnt be bothered to throw a bach for FI. He did get one, and they helped him when he got realllly drunk at it, but they are still giving us problems.

So, my advice would be either you say something to a friend who is NOT in the WP, or even your FI's dad/brothers/male family members, and see if anyone can get the ball rolling.

volleygurl0306

Fi basically planned his own.  He said where he wanted to go and arranged the house they are staying in (my aunt and uncle's shore house).  His GM are coordinating the ride up and timing of it.  They will be splitting the bill and all are taking a day off for it.  FI knew that his friends were bad at planning though so he didn't mind taking charge and is just happy they are willing to miss a day of work when they'll be missing days for the wedding too. 

thickening

I planned my FI bachelor party because his friends are lame.  I'm paying my brother to take him out..