X seats reserved? Well, I'm bringing Y people!

Ravenclaw79

Good god, I need to vent...

I got an RSVP card back today from one of the groomsmen.  It was addressed to "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith."  The card has a line, just to clear up any possible confusion, that says "2 seats have been reserved in your honor."

They wrote in "M__ John Smith family" and "3 will attend".

*headdesk*

How is this NOT horribly, horribly rude?  Who looks at "2 people are invited," says "screw you, I'm bringing 3" and thinks that's alright???

The worst thing is that my FH talked to to the offender on the phone last week. The guy implied that he was going to write 3 (even though the card CLEARLY was addressed to 2), and FH replied with "Well, we're not inviting people's kids to the wedding, the guest list is tight," etc.  So this guy KNOWS we're not inviting kids, and yet belligerently put down "family," 2 seats reserved but 3 people coming!!

I can't even get over how rude this is (and we had one yesterday, too, one that was addressed to 1 person, 1 name, 1 seat reserved, and marked 2 attending -- and in that case, we have no idea who the other person even might be!).  Who seriously looks at "2 people are invited" and thinks "well, I'm bringing 3"??  How is that ever acceptable???

AriesAngel86

I think some people don't "get" weddings... that it costs a lot of money to feed people at a wedding, and that guest lists are often tight (Too many people are RSVPing YES for my wedding... wanted 75ish people..looking like 90ish are coming). I hear you, that is frustrating!

akbrown19

I didn't put 'X number of seats reserved in your honor' but also had problems, one relative knew children of extended family were not invited and wrote on her RSVP "We may have to bring John (their son)". Similar to your issue - it's one thing to be ignorant but it's another to be disrespectful and knowingly invite another person.

In my situation, they "don't have anything else to do with him" that night, and I haven't been entirely sure how to respond. For me, I am going to let them bring him because there will be other children there and it's not worth creating drama. We're under our anticipated numbers, so we can afford to include him. If this were not the case, I would be having my stepmom deal with the situation, as it is her relative that she invited, so her responsibility to let them down. 

I guess it depends on your situation - if you are not having kids at all, the least stressful way (for you) to handle it might be to have a parent or other relative that knows that person well talk to them about it.

CurlsNpearls12

This happened to me. Call them and tell them you're sorry but you cannot accommodate guest3 and explain your budget/venue restricts that. If they are rude and threaten not to come because of this, politely apologize and say you will miss them. Good luck.

kmleon83

how rude! as pp said, i would definitely give them a call and politely let them know that you have 2 seats reserved them and are unfortunately unable to accomodate the third. i just do not understand people!

scurtis07

I think this has happened to everyone. This has happened to me like 4 times, luckily we had just enough "no's" as add ons.

One friend of FI, whose wedding we attended like three years ago..emailed FI and said something to the effect of "I noticed there is nothing regarding children on the RSVP, can we bring them?" (1st off, we aren't regarding them because we don't want them there. plain and simple) so FI had to tell him about the tight head count, which we know the guy knows abotu because another buddy that came with us to their wedding was unable to bring a date for the very same reason! Anyway, FI's buddy responds back with "Well if it's a seat issue that won't be a problem cuz they will sit in our laps, and if it's a food issue we will bring their dinner."

I just kind of threw my hands up and say oh well. You really want to bring your 2 year old and 9 month old, fine, but we aren't accomidating them, which you already acknowledged wouldn't be a problemo.

We are having our wedding at a resort Inn, so we are just getting a room with a babysitter for all the other kids, so if they decide to utilize this then go for it.

Everyone is rude. Those people are totally rude. But at least they have given you a heads up with how rude they are. You'll reach a time with no RSVP's at all, and then those people call up and ask about bringing a date...that's another fun conversation. Good Luck!

Puglove23

I feel your pain!! I had my uncle tell me that his wife's granddaughter from 1st marriage and her boyfriend were coming! I told them sorry but can't accomadate...small wedding,etc,etc...he told me they already told her she could come and now he is angry at me for not giving in to their rude request!!! Ugh people can be awful sometimes!

sheilbeil123

I didnt think it would happen to me, but it did! an old college friend responded with a plus one At first I thought he was being rude but now I think he was just clueless. I sent him a message on facebook telling him that I didnt know he had a girlfriend and we didnt take that into consideration during the planning process. I told him that we have gotten so many YES responses that im not sure we can accomdate his request, and that even my family werent given the guest option (I have about 15 single cousins between 21-28!). While I think its totally unfair of me to give this kid a date and not my family, i told him that i would have to see how many remaining guests RSVP and let him know in a few weeks. He responded that he was sorry and to let him know. I know ill cave. I think some people just have no idea that its rude!

cronin85

I luckily only had 1 person do that to me! but, it still made me mad haha.  People are just plain old rude!  May be they think "oh they wont mind..its only one extra person"... but that 1 person can cost $100 (some halls even more).  I give up on people haha.  The newest thing for me is the seating chart.  People are calling me and saying "Oh I wanna sit with so and so"... hate to be the one to tell them, but they are sitting with whoever I put them with and thats final  (I feel like a little bit of "bridezilla" is starting to some out, which I did NOT want to happen haha)

sparksfly

Well our guest list got out of control .. so I was super concious about whose kids we invited and who we didn't. Family with kids - got invited. Kids we have personal or longstanding relationships with (i.e. the girls I babysat for 8 years) - invited. People whose kids we don't know or don't know well - NOT invited. We have a family at church who have 10 kids .. and we love their family but don't really know all the kids that well, so we addressed the invitation to Mr. & Mrs. So-and-so ... not the So-and-so family. Mr. said to FI at church one week, "We're really excited about your wedding because we usually have to say no because of the kids, but they are all really excited to come." Oops. =( Not sure how that was misinterpreted .... The redeeming part of this is that most of their kids will eat free. Our reception hall is awesome and kids under 5 are free and kids 5-10 eat half price. So at least we won't be paying for 10 more meals. As much as it bugs me that they interpreted the invitation wrong, I won't say anything to them ... we want to keep them as friends and if the only way they can come to our wedding is to bring all of their children, we can make it work .... 

Ravenclaw79

It's just, if one person gets to be a special snowflake and bring their kids, how does it look to everyone else?  I told other people, my friends, that they couldn't bring their kids, but this guy gets to bring his because he bullied his way into it?  That's unfair, and it's annoying when we didn't want kids there to begin with.  (We haven't yet talked to this person, btw... FH is eager to just roll over and let him bring the kid, 'cause he'd always rather roll over than "cause a hardship for anyone" (despite the fact that it shouldn't be a hardship, 'cause we're not asking for anything unusual or mean or anything).  *sigh*)

scurtis07

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2012-weddings_x-seats-reserved-well-im-bringing-y-people?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:a464c18c-2e4d-469b-8eae-3865079cb9cfDiscussion:aca7b5de-39e6-48ec-bbf4-09f192cd1a20Post:cf4fb710-69e5-4dfd-95b4-c09cdb1c048a">Re: X seats reserved? Well, I'm bringing Y people!</a>:
[QUOTE]I luckily only had 1 person do that to me! but, it still made me mad haha.  People are just plain old rude!  May be they think "oh they wont mind..its only one extra person"... but that 1 person can cost $100 (some halls even more).  I give up on people haha.  The newest thing for me is the seating chart.  <strong>People are calling me and saying "Oh I wanna sit with so and so"... </strong>hate to be the one to tell them, but they are sitting with whoever I put them with and thats final  (I feel like a little bit of "bridezilla" is starting to some out, which I did NOT want to happen haha)
Posted by cronin85[/QUOTE]

<div>OMG! People are doing this to you?! Like who, good friends, aunts and uncles, or like friends of parents? Even if any of those people tried to pull that I'd laugh in their faces! One of my BM's asked who was at her table and I told her, then she asked about a mutual friend and my (admittedly Bridezilla) response was "They aren't at your table, you have plenty of friends at your table, you can get up and talk once dinner is over, you'll survive."</div><div>
</div><div>ugh. people.</div>