Check and a Bachelorette Party vent

volleygurl0306

Finished printing invites last night!!! yay!  FI said "Cool they are done" and I just looked at him like he was crazy.  Still have to assemble, print envelopes, stuff envelopes, etc but baby steps, right?!

I'm getting so frustrated about my bachelorette party.  Part of it is that I'm not involved and I am a control freak but this is one thing I don't want to plan (I have enough) but my MOH is quite possibly the most disorganized, hardest to get in touch with person alive.  She didn't send out an email to who was invited until 2 months after she said she would.  Now we are about a month away from when we are doing this and as far as I know, no decisions have been made or she's made decisions no one else agreed on and without knowing who is coming.  She wants some big wild weekend down in south Beach.  I'm okay going down there for one night, but since most of my friends are out of town my mom wanted to do my bridal shower the same weekend at her house which is 45 minutes from south beach.  Plus, many of my friends may not be in until late Friday or early Saturday.  Ideally, we'd just hang out Friday night, have some wine, maybe go to a bar near my parents house (we are crashing there since they have a ton of space).  Saturday just hang out by the pool until the shower.  Then after the shower get ready to go out and then go to Miami and do it up big.  I did want one wild night but to be honest, I only physically can handle one wild night in a weekend to still be functional come Monday morning.  I told my MOH all this and she looked like I just clubbed a baby seal in front of her.  She wanted this big to do and was upset that everyone wasn't down for this huge (and expensive) weekend.  Most of my out of town friends haven't bought flights and I think it is because they are afraid this will cost too much. 

Then, my mom has been waiting on my MOH to make the shower plans so nothing is done for that either.  I told her yesterday there was a Living Social for an in-home wine tasting for 16 people and if it was within budget I thought it would be really fun.  So she called my MOH who didn't respond of course to see if it would be okay with her plans and now the deal isn't available.  I just can't handle the indecisiveness at this point.  And, if people are flying in, plans needed to be decided a while ago because who would fly in if there are no concrete plans?  I feel like I'm not being heard and I wanted to let my MOH enjoy this but I can't trust her to be on top of this either.  Ugh so frustrated.

mamameech

Considering all the plans that need to be made by all involved (and not last minute ones!) I'd be frustrated too. I'm a planner and I'd be going crazy right now if I were you!

NO2012

Yes that would be making me crazy!!  I would tell your mom to go ahead and make her shower plans so your out of town friends have notice to book their travel plans and if your MOH can't get it together by then, either you will still have your friends in town to hang out with and enjoy or maybe one of them will step up and take the lead to organize something bigger like heading to Miami for the night. 

If it makes you feel better, my MOH and BMs had asked me repeatedly several months ago about what I want to do for girls' night, had me email my other out of town friends to gauge their interest, and then nothing said ever again.  I am getting anxious too knowing there is only so much time left, our summer schedules are jam packed tight with work, kids' vacations (FI has 2 young kids), showers, etc. and no plans have been made.  My 2 FSILs asked me about what my girls are planning last weekend and I was kind of embarrassed to say nothing so far.  A couple of BMs suggested we do something after my first shower since alot of people will be in town already for it, but that is in less than 3 weeks and not a peep from anyone.    Long story short, I feel your frustration. I think most of all, it hurts our feelings.

CowgirlK39

I would just let your mom run with the shower, and if MOH tries to get involved again, direct her to speak to your mom. As for the b-party, that is very annoying... maybe just send her an email or make a phone call and tell her you have people waiting to make plans and you would like to know how far along she is in planning. If she has nothing concrete, then remind her this doesn't have to be the event of the century, but people still need to be able to plan ahead. You don't have to be 100% involved in the planning, but maybe just get a match under her butt to get her going.

morenachica110

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2012-weddings_check-and-a-bachelorette-party-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:a464c18c-2e4d-469b-8eae-3865079cb9cfDiscussion:ad89e743-131b-4a35-9415-3db79e82a474Post:45039f2b-6a2a-45e3-aa8a-7932a2e0fec4">Re: Check and a Bachelorette Party vent</a>:
[QUOTE]I would just let your mom run with the shower, and if MOH tries to get involved again, direct her to speak to your mom. As for the b-party, that is very annoying... maybe just send her an email or make a phone call and tell her you have people waiting to make plans and you would like to know how far along she is in planning. If she has nothing concrete, then remind her this doesn't have to be the event of the century, but people still need to be able to plan ahead. You don't have to be 100% involved in the planning, but maybe just get a match under her butt to get her going.
Posted by CowgirlK39[/QUOTE]

<div>I agree. Let mom take over the shower and tell MOH she needs to get with it. </div><div>
</div><div>PS: I totally laughed at the clubbing the baby seal part. haha! But I'm like you. I can do one wild night in a weekend and then I'm on recover mode until work.</div>

volleygurl0306

My mom saw I was stressed this morning and disappointed that we missed the wine tasting deal so she texted MOH that they need to speak on the phone ASAP.  MOH is supposed to call her tonight.  She's not really good with follow up so I'll believe it when I see it but hopefully it is progress.

And yea morena, it is so rough.  I swear I traded a college diploma for my liver because the second I graduated my body just couldn't handle it any more haha. 

scurtis07

I am dealing with similar issues. AND on top of my own bachelorette party issues, my FI is having problems with the groomsmen stepping up and making solid bachelor party plans. I am like you, I am a control freak so this not knowing and supposed "behind the scenes" work is driving me insane.

I actually have a bridesmaid who stepped up and has done an awesome job planning, booked hotel and everything, and sent out the mass email, and there hasn't been a single response in over a week. I know these people have lives and other things to worry about other than getting me super drunk by a pool, but simply responding with a yahoo would suffice.

So yeah I would honestly lay down the law with your MOH. Let her know that time is ticking and people are depending on her to make solid plans that work for everyone, esspecially you!

Good luck!