Feeling a little down

lac1583

I don't expect much since I just recently came out of self-induced lurkdom and nobody really knows me. I'm just not sure where else to vent (throw a pity party). Our wedding is next Saturday, I'm beyond excited! However, it seems like I'm the only one that is. I realize everybody else has their lives to tend to, but everybody keeps telling me "no." I mean, I am paying for manicures and updos for all my girls and two of them told me I needed to reschedule and/or cancel because they are working the day of the wedding and probably can't make it. Not to mention that one of the girls "isn't a girly girl" so she doesn't even want hair and nails done. Umm, hello? you could have said "no" when I asked you to even be in the wedding. I asked if anybody, bridesmaids or groomsmen would be giving a toast at the reception... "no" from both sides. So we'll be toasting each other to no toast... I asked for help to finish the centerpieces. "No" from everybody but my mother. There's a million other things, and I'm just so over it and wish we would have just eloped. I bend over backwards for people and I guess I just expected the same. I guess I have to look at it as everybody else did this 5-10 years ago. It's our "fault" for waiting until after 30 to get hitched. People are over the wedding excitement.

Sorry for my Debbie Downer post, I just can't complain about it to anyone in real life (especially not to my fiance and most of these people are his family that I have tried like hell to include)

futuremrscsr

I completely understand being disappointed when you try to include people and they tell you "no." You want everyone to be excited and you want to experience the whole process with the people you care about. However, at the end of the day you and your FI will be married and I think that is what you should focus on. I am a people pleaser and at a couple different points in time, the wedding planning really took a toll on me because I was trying so hard to make everyone else happy. Enjoy the fact that your mom is helping you and treat it as a bonding time- I'm sure helping you means a lot to her.

Is there any way you can accomodate your BM's schedules so that they can make their appointments on time? Were you planning to all get hair/nails done together? It may not be possible now since they have to work but it will be okay if they end up having to get theirs done at a different time. Don't let things that you can't control stress you out. This is a happy time and you should enjoy it!  Keep your chin up! You're getting married in 8 days!

volleygurl0306

I'm sorry to hear this.  I've kinda learned (though I don't always stick to my lesson) that you happiness in the wedding really just has to lie in you and your FI.  Unfortunately, people don't seem to get hyped up about it like we'd expect.  I have kinda the opposite issue as you in that I am the first of my friends to get married...none of my BM have helped at all because they have no idea that a wedding is as much work as it is.  One of my BM I've only heard from 4 times in the past 8 months...she's never asked about the wedding or how planning is going.  Two of those times were within the past week and we talked long enoug for her to complain about school and the only wedding thing was how with 3 weeks until the wedding she was just looking into flights.  None of my BM will be there except my MOH until 9pm Friday before the wedding so getting nails done and spending time relaxing together wasn't even an option.  Sometimes I wish my friends were more involved or enthusiastic.  But, in general, my excitement lies in having a husband.  I'm glad they will be there but that is my focus.  Everyone else will hopefully enjoy themselves and if not, oh well, I'm married.  I did my best to plan a fun wedding but thats all I can do.  You are justified in your feelings but just remind yourself what it is about and hopefully you'll perk up.

lac1583

Thanks, ladies. And you're both right. I need to focus all my energy on my fiance and the fact that we will soon be husband and wife!

I too am a people pleaser. And have, with a smile on my face, changed the hair/nails schedule around to accomodate their schedules.

Volley, your attitude is absolutely right. I'm doing the best I can for the most people to have a great time, and if they don't, it's on them, not me! 

Thanks again!