Had my first (and hopefully only!) Bridezilla moment!

Starfish0116

I am so not a bridezilla, in fact, I'm pretty chill. I wanted to go to vegas and elope, FI wanted the wedding - so we're having the wedding. In fact, he's done much of the planning.

My my BFF calls to tell me that she got a FB message from FI's aunt, who has decided she wants to host my bridal shower. I can't stand her. She's one of those people that is sweet as pie to help out, and then spends the next 6 months talking about how "if it wasn't for her.....". Like, reccomending you for a job and then for the rest of your life she tells everyone that she GOT you the job. Just one of those people. She has no clue about ettiquette at all, and is just nuts in general.

My BFF had to fight me to begin with about having a shower, because I didn't really want one, only to find out that FI's aunt wants to throw it. I had a serious meltdown yesterday. I don't want her any way associated with it, because I know I'll hear about nothing but how she threw me a shower and spent XXX on it and blah blah blah for the rest of my life.

I'm just irritated now, and dreading this shower.

I hate to sound ungrateful, but I'd rather not have one if it means having her involved. Unfortunatly, she caught my BFF off guard and already agreed to it. Now I'm just pissed because the whole situation sucks. Even my FI can't stand her, and he's seriously dumbfounded as to why she even wants to throw the darn shower. 

BMcLeodTeam

If you would rather have no shower than hers, you can still graciously decline it, even if your BFF agreed to it.

gabriel0915

PP is right. You always have the right to decline politely if you don't want her throwing it. I know my FI's mom would be the EXACT same way and talk about money and everything so I know I'd rather not have one than her plan it. I would tell her that you appreciate the offer but you would prefer not to have one. Good luck

Starfish0116

Thanks ladies. I think at this point, there is no declining. It caught my BFF off guard and she agreed to host with them, and then they put me on the spot and I just said "whatever" to the whole thing.

I'm irritated, but mostly venting. It would be a huge drama issue if I declined so I don't think that's really an option.

mcmeghan311

She wants to host it probably for the exact reason you don't want her to: because she wants something to boast about.  Maybe send her an e-mail and say something like, "Thanks Aunt Gladys for offering to help Stacey with the shower.  It will be a big help to her, as I never wanted one so she has been on her own in planning it for us.  I appreciate your generous offer."  That way it sounds gracious, but it points out that A) you don't give a crap about a shower (so she might back out) and that it is really your best friend's shindig that Aunt would be HELPING with but not throwing.
JM2C :0)

CowgirlK39

My FMIL is the exact same way. My mom was planning on throwing me a shower, but my FMIL then wanted to throw me her own, and we all know its simply so she can soak in the attention and boast that this was all her idea. Does your BFF know how you feel about your aunt? I think if someone told me that, I would immediately begin thinking of how to discretely deconstruct the whole matter. But since you said you are kinda stuck with it, I guess you gotta practice the art of the "fake smile" and just deal with it.

Starfish0116

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2012-weddings_had-my-first-and-hopefully-only-bridezilla-moment?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:a464c18c-2e4d-469b-8eae-3865079cb9cfDiscussion:be98ceb8-fc05-4ded-9d8b-33af076135b2Post:d4c2a986-661d-4a95-9c1a-8557c571379d">Re: Had my first (and hopefully only!) Bridezilla moment!</a>:
[QUOTE]My FMIL is the exact same way. My mom was planning on throwing me a shower, but my FMIL then wanted to throw me her own, and we all know its simply so she can soak in the attention and boast that this was all her idea. Does your BFF know how you feel about your aunt? I think if someone told me that, I would immediately begin thinking of how to discretely deconstruct the whole matter. But since you said you are kinda stuck with it, I guess you gotta practice the art of the "fake smile" and just deal with it.
Posted by CowgirlK39[/QUOTE]

<div>Oh yeah, BFF knows how I feel, she has the same opinion of her. It just caught her off guard and she agreed to it because she felt on the spot and didn't know what to say. On one hand, I'm glad my BFF isn't foot the whole bill but I just hate that she's going to do all the work and aunt is going to take all the credit.</div><div>
</div><div>The thing is, FI's mom is throwing me a shower in her hometown for all of their family. Aunt is actually an aunt via marriage (to his uncle that WAS married to his blood related aunt). I just think it looks strange that his family is throwing both of my showers, when really the aunt's shower only consists of my friends and family since they're all local to me.</div>