Best man is missing, again

CowgirlK39

Since we got engaged, our best man has been sucked more and more into his gf. We don't really like her because she acts like she is better than us and anytime we hang out, she ignores us and plays on her phone. Plus she has a very tight leash on him, so seeing him has become impossible. She has changed him so much too... we used to hang out and go fishing and drink beer on tailsgates. Now he goes to wine tastings with her in limos, and does nothing with any of his friends. This has been an issue for about a year and a half and FI has been upset about it.

We talked to him a few weeks ago and he was all agreeable about going with FI to look into outfits for the wedding. But as usual, trying to get him to hang out and actually do that was impossible. When FI and I went monday to pick out what he was wearing, we pieced together the guys outfits. He sent a pic to all 3 guys,,, 2 loved it and sent their sizes so stuff could be ordered. Best man did not reply to a single thing. FI even sent him a text saying "I need your size ASAP if you want to be in this wedding." No reply.

I know, people are busy. He is planning to propose to his bit- I mean, girlfriend, in July. I'm sure thats on his mind but come on..... do we not matter at all anymore?

The store even called FI to ask wtf was up, so they could order the shirts. He's very upset. So, is this like BM dresses... if they don't order by the day you say, they aren't in the wedding? Should i try to call him?

sparent2010

Let your FI deal with it. He can call and say, "Jim, please let me know your size by x date. If you do not let me know I will assume you no longer want to be a part of the wedding. Thank you."

It sucks when people get flakey.

BMcLeodTeam

I second what sparent said. Let your FI say that, and if he still doesn't get back, then I guess his decision is made.

volleygurl0306

That sucks!!!!  I mean everyone changes someone when they find "the one" because you are deciding to fit that person's life into your own but for her to not even try to be friendly with his friends and to keep him all to herself is not okay!  And not healthy.  But it is someone else's life so I'd keep from ever bashing her.  As far as this goes, I think FI should definitely try to call him (not text) and see if that gets any response.  The date thing depends on how you are handling attire I guess.  I know from Men's Warehouse someone can order as close as 2-4 weeks and just pay a rush fee since it is a rental.  Also, things like black tuxes are a dime a dozen so someone could find one in a pinch.  If this is something that needs to be ordered to come in on time because they are buying and/or totally unique though, I would say treat it exactly like BMs and let him know the last possible date to order buy or he can show up with his bit-- as a guest.  Hope everything works out!

CowgirlK39

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2012-weddings_best-man-is-missing-again?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:a464c18c-2e4d-469b-8eae-3865079cb9cfDiscussion:c4fe997f-0aa2-4869-96f6-dca190d3db50Post:592a2191-ecb5-46c3-b738-fd0ddf93f9e1">Re: Best man is missing, again</a>:
[QUOTE]That sucks!!!!  I mean everyone changes someone when they find "the one" because you are deciding to fit that person's life into your own but for her to not even try to be friendly with his friends and to keep him all to herself is not okay!  And not healthy.  But it is someone else's life so I'd keep from ever bashing her.  As far as this goes, I think FI should definitely try to call him (not text) and see if that gets any response.  The date thing depends on how you are handling attire I guess.  I know from Men's Warehouse someone can order as close as 2-4 weeks and just pay a rush fee since it is a rental.  Also, things like black tuxes are a dime a dozen so someone could find one in a pinch. <strong> If this is something that needs to be ordered to come in on time because they are buying and/or totally unique though</strong>, I would say treat it exactly like BMs and let him know the last possible date to order buy or he can show up with his bit-- as a guest.  Hope everything works out!
Posted by volleygurl0306[/QUOTE]

Yeah, they are all separate pieces from a western wear store. FI is giving them options with a lot of it, but some things have to be specific, and the store would like them to be ordered with time to spare so we can make sure everything fits and can be adjusted if needed. I'll tell FI to call him, and pray that maybe he will actually answer.

SCogs18

Sparent is giving great advice on several threads tonight.  Let your FI handle this.  He needs to CALL not text this BM and explain the situation to him.  I thought it was hard to get my girls to order their dresses, but I still need 8 guys to get fitted for tuxes!  It's a nightmare!  They just don't get it because they aren't in the day planning and young guys can be straight up lazy/irresponsible.

FWIW, our Men's Wearhouse said the absolute latest date a guy can be fitted for a tux is 1 month before the wedding and absolutely no later.