FI's wedding ring - rant

MrsBassPlaya

We picked up FI's wedding ring today, and he was wearing it around.  I think the ring might be slightly too small, so he wanted to have it on for a while to see if it seemed too tight or if it was just him not being used to a ring.  Well, after having it on for a few minutes, he started freaking out a little bit.  He kept tugging at it and saying how much it was bothering him and that it was cutting off his circulation.  (It was tight, but It definitely wasn't cutting off his circulation.)  He left the ring on because we were out driving around, and the only way he could get it off was with something slippery.  After a while he calmed down about it and even left it on after we got home.so that he could get used to it and know for sure if it needs to be slightly bigger.  I think we're definitely going to need to get it taken up a half size.  He could barely even spin it around.  It's just a little unnerving seeing my FI freaking out so much.  It was because the ring was such a weird feeling to him.  He kept saying he didn't want to wear it.  But I'm sure the fact that it was too tight amplified the situation.

Now I feel like I need to calm down a bit cause his freak out about the ring was so unnerving to me.  I was engaged 5 years ago and it imploded 6 weeks before the wedding with little to no warning, so I read into things like that a little too much.  Right after we sent out the invites I had a little meltdown, so I'm trying to hold myself together while he's having his mini meltdown.  I suppose if this is the worst, I'm ok with that.  Mostly, things have been going really well.

Fluffernut

I'm sorry that happened.  I also had a previous engagement that didn't get to the wedding.  It was probably just stress.  The whole planning process is stressful, and marriage is a big step to take, even when it's the right person.  Maybe you can talk to him today about it, now that you've both calmed down a little.

Hugs and good luck!

em105

oh Honey!  First, big hugs.  That does sound a bit unnerving.

Secondly:  If you've never worn a ring before and all of a sudden have one slightly too small on, it feels awful.  ESPECIALLY if you have any degree of heat/humidity/fluid retention/etc.  I can TOTALLY see where he's coming from with the 'ahhhh!! my finger is suddenly in a prison!!' (literal, not figurative/symbolic, btw.)

I don't know if this is helpful at all, but Windex is awefully fantastic at helping get rings that are too small on/off.  Jewlery stores have recommended this to me and it works PERFECTLY.

cronin85

I'm sorry to hear he had a freak out.  I agree with pervious people, going from not wearing a ring to wearing one cn feel "weird".  My FI put his on and said he hates it because its uncomfortable.  He will get used to it and you will be fine.  Maybe go have it sized and he will feel better.  I know its probably hard, but try not to think about your previous engagement, you dont want to work yoursel fup over nothing.  Everything is going to work out perfectly for you

volleygurl0306

I could understand how that would be frustrating.  Especially since idk about you but my FI looked at me like I was a nut job when we got engaged because I kept saying the ring felt weird! Now it is his turn.  Every time you get freaked out and think this could happen like your last engagement (I'm SURE it will not but I understand why you could feel that way), write down something about your FI or about you two as a couple that is great/working/better than the last relationship.  Not as a way to compare things, but as a way to reassure yourself that this relationship is better, stronger, and working.  HTH! 

BMcLeodTeam

Sorry you had to go through that, but PPs are right in saying try not to read too much into it! I know your anxiety, I also have had a previous engagement fall through and many times along the way I've gotten REALLY anxious planning this one. Its like subconsciously you are constantly concerned that the same thing is going to happen again!

jamie5482

I can see why you would be a bit freaked out but hopefully you've both calmed down and you're feeling better about things. Rings definitely feel weird at first, especially if they're too small - that would definitely give me anxiety! I had a previous engagement end too but I'm thankful it didn't get to the planning stages so I haven't really thought about it. I'm sure things are much different and better for you this time around! 

smartlypretty

I wouldn't read too much into it. Does your FI usually wear jewerly? My FI does NOT. EVER. So much so that I could barely get him to put on the tester rings for more than a microsecond so that I could see what they looked like. I bought him a 25 dollar wedding band, and he'll probably never wear it. Is it annoying? Yes, of course I want him to wear the wedding band. But I know it has absolutely NOTHING to do with the state of our relationship/marriage and whether he wears it or not says nothing about how he feels about me. He just hates jewerly and has never worn it. 

I don't wear any jewerly except my engagement ring (I don't even have pierced ears) and it seriously took me like a month before I was comfortable with wearing my band. 

jjswin

Oh honey big hugs, take a deep breath, everything will be fine.

MrsBassPlaya

Thanks for the encouragement ladies.  I think we've decided that we're going to get it taken up a half size.  He stopped freaking out about it, and I'm feeling better.  Engagements are stressful, so I suppose a little anxiety along the way is normal.  It was just disconcerting to see him freaking out so much because he's usually ultra calm about everything.  We talked today, and we're doing good.