Best Friend/Little Sister Vent

rbwashington2012

I posted this on FB late last night but deleted it this morning cause I didnt type it right (anger got the better of me) and decided to post it here:
Mini vent with a problem to solve within, my best friend that I consider a little sister to me was in the hospital seems like a month ago now.  She is doing better, so what I thought. Well, lets fast forward to last night, I am right now at the point of ready to scream at her. One of my pet peeves is an adult acting like a whining child when things don't go their way. So last night she contacts me via FB and goes into this whine session about how her job's HR contacted her to let her she blacked out again (she is not taking care of herself since being in the hospital), etc etc etc. She asked me to help her with writing a cover letter and some other stuff when I asked how the family is handling everything that happen to her today. She states I havent told a soul but you and Renika (my other best friend). I told her that you need to really need to quit hee hawing around and just do what you need to do. She starts whining again and I told her I can't deal with her acting like a kid and need to grow up like the rest of us. Needless to say, she left me alone the rest of the night and continue to post mess to suck others in her pitty party. So the problem lays here. Since the wedding is a little under 4 months away,  she lost her job and her health is still not up to par, there is a big chance she will not be coming to the wedding. Should I still send her an invite or just cross her name off the list all together at this point.

danigirl7181

I would still send the invite, even if she can't make it she's still your friend. 

AshnRobo

Send the invite unless you want to end the friendship.

volleygurl0306

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2012-weddings_best-friendlittle-sister-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:a464c18c-2e4d-469b-8eae-3865079cb9cfDiscussion:c9395703-cd15-482f-969b-13f9442ed9d0Post:7ed65ba9-320f-4e18-a7f1-177e4519ac9c">Re: Best Friend/Little Sister Vent</a>:
[QUOTE]Send the invite unless you want to end the friendship.
Posted by AshnRobo[/QUOTE]

This.  I've gotten frustrated with a few friends lately for whining when they should be stepping up and figuring it out so I hear you!  It is frustrating when the rest of us have to get up and put on our big girl panties and some think they don't have to.  But, I think you are a little heated and I know you are super overwhelmed so that could have you reacting more harshly.  We do still have four month so figure 2 months til we send invites, 1 and a half until we address them.  I think you should let yourself cool off and also give her a chance to put things back together.  If she's still annoying you and you are done with her when you go to mail invites, then make the decision.  I don't think you have to do anything rash right now.

BMcLeodTeam

I agree, unless its gotten to the point you're ending the friendship (and it doesn't sound like it has) then send the invite anyway. If she can't make it, she'll RSVP no.

jjswin

I agree with PP, cool off for a bit and then make the decision when you are about to mail invites.

rbwashington2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2012-weddings_best-friendlittle-sister-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:a464c18c-2e4d-469b-8eae-3865079cb9cfDiscussion:c9395703-cd15-482f-969b-13f9442ed9d0Post:eb80a345-60a0-46e1-b7b0-c14bce7b59b2">Re: Best Friend/Little Sister Vent</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Best Friend/Little Sister Vent : This.  I've gotten frustrated with a few friends lately for whining when they should be stepping up and figuring it out so I hear you! <strong> It is frustrating when the rest of us have to get up and put on our big girl panties and some think they don't have to. </strong> But, I think you are a little heated and I know you are super overwhelmed so that could have you reacting more harshly.  We do still have four month so figure 2 months til we send invites, 1 and a half until we address them.  <strong>I think you should let yourself cool off and also give her a chance to put things back together.</strong>  If she's still annoying you and you are done with her when you go to mail invites, then make the decision.  I don't think you have to do anything rash right now.
Posted by volleygurl0306[/QUOTE]

Thank you for understanding so much darling! The level of frustration is beyond words and after calming down and sleeping on it. I saw I was being harsh and not thinking clearly. But on the other hand, I am with you 100 plus percent about the ones who think they don't have to be an big girl. Trying to be understanding  and supportive but this has gone on for two years and I don't see her bouncing back again with the latest issue that has come up. Her father is going thru aggressive chemo treatment cause his cancer came back and is spreading fast. She assures me that she has put in applications yesterday and will continue cause she really wants to be here. Even FI and my other best friend is unsure at this point if she is going to make it thru the next couple of months. We send the invites out a month from today so I might follow PP suggest and send the invite but not because I don't want the friendship to end. I have lost two friendships so far because of this wedding so I am kinda numb at that point if someone wants to end a friendship because of this  (those friendships needed to end anyway, too toxic).  Guess time will tell. Thank you again ladies for letting me vent and your thoughts on it.

nicknuttnc

I think you should invite her and let her know verbally that it will be ok if she cannot make it. If she here from you directly and she still decide to go then that will be on her, but excluding her is hurting her feelings......