RSVP frustration

sparksfly

Our RSVP due date was Saturday … so after Monday’s mail was delivered we just started contacting people who hadn’t responded. I’m  frustrated by how many people are RSVPing for extra people! Not only are these people waiting until the last minute to say they are coming, but they say, “Oh yea the whole family is coming!” Well we didn’t invite your whole family … did you not read who the invite was addressed to??? 

I'm just venting ... FI doesn't get it. His mindset is the more the merrier ... Which is great I guess ... but I'm just seeing dollar signs. So not only is our guest list humongous, but now it's growing. We're still getting no's (which is super) but it feels like for every no, we add 3 kids. Urrghhh...... 

volleygurl0306

Who is paying for the wedding?  If it is either of your parents, he needs to be more sensitive to their wallets!  If you two are, you need to speak up about your financial concerns now.  Finances are a big deal in a marriage and if it is stressing you, you need to say so.  Even if you have the money in the bank, if you were envisioning the extra money going to a house or your HM or saving up for something, then it shouldn't be used to cater to people who are being rude.  Plus, consider the issue of if you let someone bring their whole family, how someone else will feel that wasn't so presumptuous as to invite their kids.  They may not know how it went down so they may feel slighted and blame you.  Stick to your guns on this one and get FI on your side ASAP.

kmleon83

ditto to what volley said! we are footing the bill for the wedding (with a bit of help from his parents) but i made my mother cut a lot of people off the guest list prior to the invitations going out because wedddings aren't cheap!

i will never understand people who assume their whole family is invited - that's not how it works!!

sparksfly

My parents are paying ... and we'll still be under budget so I really shouldn't be too concerned with cost (we are getting a lot of things for free and cheap). I guess I really just am frustrated with people's rudeness and the fact that they didn't even consider the cost to us ... it's not their place to decide to add to the guest list. 

Ravenclaw79

All of the above: Do NOT let people add other people to the guest list!  You'll add expenses you don't need, to add people who weren't invited, who you obviously didn't want there enough to invite, so you can cater to people with no manners, and meanwhile, the people who DID have manners will be annoyed because "well, why couldn't I bring so-and-so, then, if THEY can bring extra people?"

baird32

I would just politely tell them "Hey sorry, due to budget reasons, little suzie can't come". We had to cut down our list and that included kids. Luckily most of everyone we know see's it as a date night and already had babysitters lined up. We only had a couple ask about their kids but they totally understood. Good luck!