RSVP Vent

vickel08

So last week our invitations went out. We've been planning this wedding for a year and for the most part the guest list has been a working document. I asked my fiance and his mother a year ago who they absolutely wanted to be invited. They basically laughed at me as they both said they didn't care. My fiance is not very close to a lot of his family so more friends than family were invited.

Fast forward. My fiance put one of his uncles in the wedding last week, okay. Today his uncle calls and says he would like to invite four random people (his father and step-mother who are not related to fiance and his bestfriend and bestfriend's girlfriend). In addition, when we sent out invitations we made it clear that you could invite _/2, unless a guess had children where were older. Today we recieved an RSVP where the guest put 3/2. We have no idea who the mystery guest is!!! We are paying for this wedding mostly by ourselves and help from my family. His family is not understanding that there is a limit to how many people we can feed and entertain. I'm hoping that even the additions will not put us over the 125 guest we have invited. As we speak we are under the amount of guest invited, but if random guest keeping being added who knows!!!

jacquiroxx

First of all, I would tell the uncle no.  It's not his wedding.  If it was his wedding, he could invite his parents and friends.  But it's not... and he has no say in the guest list.

As for the other RSVP, since you don't know who it is, you'll find out when you make calls to all the no response people after your RSVP date.  When they say they already RSVP'd, ask for their names and when they try to add a third person, tell them they can't.  Seeing everyone on this board who's had problems with blank RSVP cards makes me so happy I numbered mine.

I know that sounds easy, but I know that the real world doesn't work like that.  I've had problems with people wanting to add people to the guest list up to the last minute, and we *are* over our venue's capacity.  You just really have to learn to put your foot down AND make sure that your Fi is going to support what you say so you don't look like the bad guy.

volleygurl0306

Agree with PP.  Definitely say no to FI's uncle.  Since when do guests control the guest list???  He was totally inappropriate to ask. 

For the 3/2, I understood what you said as you knew who the first two people were but not the extra person they put in there (PP understood it as you didn't know who the card came from at all).  If PP understood it right, exactly what she said.  If you know who the card came from but not who the extra person is, call them and explain they received an invitation for two people (and give their specific names).  Maybe they miswrote it?  Or maybe they are trying to squeeze in a kid.  If you aren't having kids and/or are at capcity (either space or budget) just say it can't happen.  It is YOUR wedding and YOUR guest list.  You don't have to reward rude behavior by letting extras come and stressing yourself out.

vickel08

We did know the two people who RSVP's, but have no clue who the third is.We are having kids at the wedding, so if it is a child (may be a grandchild as this couple is an older coulpe whose children are adults), then that is okay, especially if they are a lap child. If it is one of their adult children we may still let them come because my fiance really wants the couple to come and we don't know if the third person is a deal breaker. 

 I am having my fiance and his mother call and explain, because I really don't want to look like the bad guy. His uncle is pretty much an ass and always puts my FI in these types of situations. I agree that the other four people should not come, I just hate conflict especially if it could potentially cause conflict between us and his family. His mom agrees with us, but not sure if she is willing to talk to her brother. I keep telling myself only 42 days to go!