Problematic Responders already!! (long!)

scurtis07

So we are super excited to be getting responses in so quickly! It makes us feel good that people are excited to come and have been prepared to check that YES box!!

However, some people (and I mean SOME as in MULTIPLE, as in like FOUR!) have been adding in their children! Now let me get this straight, I love children, and I love my family, and I love my families children, but a wedding, esspecially ours with our party-like family and an open bar..and beef for dinner, is simply not a child friendly environment. But even without defening our no child policy, we simply didn't plan for children...we don't have the room, meal, or money. 

We DO however, have a room (getting married at an "Inn") devoted to babysitting, where all the children can stay with our sitter there and play Wii, watch movies, play board games, eat pizza...the works. I will inform a couple of people who responded adding children of this at my shower, but pretty much I have to call up and email people telling them that there is a babysitter if they want it, but other than that we have no child accomidations.

I don't feel like I am being unreasonable, I have YET to go to a child friendly wedding and have been to at least a bakers dozen in my day. We have already talked to one guest about the kid situation twice, even before the response was in, telling him no, no kids, and yet I still recieved the response with children..

ugh, heads up ladies! This is where the REAL FUN begins!!

calindi

We have invited kids, and also will have a babysitting room.  We split the list into 1/3rds - 1/3 for his family, 1/3 for my family, and 1/3 for our friends.  My list happens to include several children - his doesn't as he has so many aunts & uncles.  Unfortuantely, a number of my FI's family have started asking if they can bring their children.  So far it isn't too many, but considering they average 5 children each, we could easily end up with 50 more!

jacquiroxx

Oh lovely.  I am hoping that people will NOT be adding their children.  We hoped that talking with them before sending invites would have informed them and prevented this, but apparently one of your guests still thinks it's okay.  Hopefully I don't have to have the "no kids" talk over and over again, too...

Good luck!

scurtis07

Yeah what sucks is there are children that I know would be super well behaved and that I know really well, but I can't tell some guests yeah bring your kids, and others, no absolutely no kids, cuz then they show up and see children and think I'm just a b**ch.

These people got to have thier weddings, the way they wanted I'm sure, and the persistant ones who we told no to who still included the children on the response anyway, didn't have children at their wedding! And after three years of dating, FI (who was still BF at the time) wasn't even allowed a plus one. (yet they called the day before and asked if I could be a "fill in") So they obviously don't know what to do with wedding 101 manners...?!

jjswin

I knew this would be an issue for me too, so I put "formal adult reception" on the invite. Solved a lot of problems, I know some people on here are really hate that but it has worked for us. Not to mention a lot of my friends/family with kids are looking forward to a night out without them.

Katiesue04

We had one of FI's coworkers add a child but that was the only one.  I am ok with it because 20 other people declined.

AshnRobo

I think that you are being totally reasonable! Maybe they are adding the kids on the RSVP so you will know how many to tell the babysitter are coming so they can prepare?

vantica

This is what I was going to suggest also. :) 

Also, I can see not wanting kids and it's perfectly reasonable and you can do whatever you want.  But, for the record, beef and open bar and partiers can still be perfectly kid friendly.  At least it better be, because that's what I'm having, including kids.  Lol.


In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2012-weddings_problematic-responders-already-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:a464c18c-2e4d-469b-8eae-3865079cb9cfDiscussion:d3f8dc66-573f-4bdf-8a78-163015247d34Post:f27f441e-ef42-453e-8a24-a3de05d98e25">Re: Problematic Responders already!! (long!)</a>:
[QUOTE]I think that you are being totally reasonable! <strong>Maybe they are adding the kids on the RSVP so you will know how many to tell the babysitter are coming so they can prepare?</strong>
Posted by AshnRobo[/QUOTE]

scurtis07

I hope they are doing it for the babysitter, though we had a few that rsvp'd saying "2 kids for babysitter" which I am totally cool with, that way we know how many sitters to get. Either way I'm just gonna have to deal with whatever these people decide to do.

Vantica, I don't think that kids are particularly interested in that type of environment, that's the "not kid friendly" aspect I am referring to. I will obviously have music and dancing, but as far as toasts and drinking and mingling, I have a feeling we would have some bored kids.

we2012

Our invitations clearly say " Adults only".  I talked to my family ahead of time and told them that their children would not be able to come.  We are just sending out our invitations this week, so we're hoping that we won't have any responses that include kids.