NWR: What would you do in the event that..

CowgirlK39

... your FI was in some sort of accident and hospitalized?

Earlier in the week, my FMIL texted me to tell me that there was a train with hazardous material on fire, and that FI was there with his FD. She then told me that they reported a firefirghter down, and that she was getting dressed just in case. I was at work and started to worry, but then she informed me that it was a friend of ours and that she was headed to the hospital to see that person. It has caused a big uproar amoung the FD because my FMIL is not family to the injured firefighter, and should NOT have gone to see her at the hospital.

It made me wonder though, how much of a role does family play in this situation, as opposed to spouses? If you were informed that your FI was hurt, how soon would you let the family know? Should his parents be informed before YOU, whether you are married or not? I will chime in later.

BMcLeodTeam

I don't think they should be informed BEFORE me if we're married, as you traditionally are 'leaving' your family unit to start a new one, that's the symbolism of marriage BUT as soon as I was told (which I would hope was first) I would be calling FMIL!

volleygurl0306

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2012-weddings_nwr-what-would-you-do-in-the-event-that?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:a464c18c-2e4d-469b-8eae-3865079cb9cfDiscussion:dc5994c5-e194-40e1-9ddf-a8bf7701edf5Post:9601d87c-98c3-474e-a588-aaa56b29d4b1">Re: NWR: What would you do in the event that..</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't think they should be informed BEFORE me if we're married, as you traditionally are 'leaving' your family unit to start a new one, that's the symbolism of marriage BUT as soon as I was told (which I would hope was first) I would be calling FMIL!
Posted by BMcLeodTeam[/QUOTE]

Agree 100% especially if FI wasn't around either of us (he travels a lot for work) and they could potentially get to him before I could.  Before we are married I would understand if either of us were called first (both his parents and myself are listed as "ICE" in his phone).  If FI's home (in FL where I live) I'd hope I was called first just because it is more convenient.  Situations like that though are why I asked FI about his allergies early in our relationship (he's allergic to a lot of medications that would kill him) since I thought an emergency person would call the local area code first.

[Deleted User]

My FI is a cop and I try so hard not to think about something bad happening when he goes to work.  He also just made the SWAT team so now when there is a crazy person with a gun holding hostages he gets to go to that too.  His parents are the primary contact but that will switch to me once we are married.  I would be annoyed if his mom got a call before me if I was his wife.  I agree with PPs in that you are now his immediate family and should come before anyone else, and I also agree that as soon as I heard something I would call my MIL asap.

CowgirlK39

I asked this because that whole situation got me thinking about this a lot. It happened in the fall where FI overheated during a practice burn, and even though he was fine they sent him to the hosp anyway. He called me to tell me, but the FD called his parents. His dad is also a fireman (wasn't at that drill at that time though) so they immediately call him first. I was a little annoyed by this because FI was still conscious and could decide for himself who should be called. He is not a child, his parents should not be automatically called. His mom is the type who cranks up the dramatics whenever anything of any kind happens so she is the last person we want there usually. I guess IMO I see it as if the person can make their own decision, they should choose who is called. If they are unconcious then the emergency contact (whoever that is) should be called.

When I got in my accident in the winter, I called 911, then my FI. I didn't call my parents till I had been checked out and I got the chance to calm down. I was very angry that FI called his mom immediately and of course she brought the whole family over to the scene. I was on the phone with my mom, sobbing hysterically when FMIL came running over and hugged me, saying "Oh my god!! OH MY GOD!" Yes, that's just what I wanted while I am in shock. She then took pics of my truck and posted them to facebook right away. Very classy of her.

I guess I will have to wait until after our big day to make sure I am informed first!!!!

gabriel0915

My FI is my emergancy contact even though I'm still living at home. I know that his parents are still his primary and I am the secondary. At his work, though a different situation, they know that should I come in for something he is to run my tests and our future children's test when we are there. That's his job and I want my husband doing it. Plus I know he's the best there and that makes me feel comfortable.

If it was him and they called me first I'd call his parents on the way there and then call my parents. They are close to him so I know they would want to know. I agree with them calling the SO first but I guess some people don't look at it that way.