a fairly odd situation - LONG

spalihena

 So i am 199 days away from my wedding, we have a venue, a dj, and STD's done, but I still dont have a ring and i so i dont feel engaged!!!

FI and I picked the wedding date early because i had to give my family plenty of notice - the dont live in the US. We booked a venue early because we didnt want to miss out on the place we loved . We had talked about getting married, and thens set the ball rolling, but i never got my moment where he got down on one knee and asked...

He got me a sapphire from sri lanka, and designed the ring himself - but that took way longer than expected, so now we are less than 200 days from the wedding and I still dont have the ring. I know he gets it this weekend from the person who brought it to him .

A part of me cant wait to get it, and is super excited to finally have a ring on my finger. the other part of me is scared that now we are so far into the wedding planning stages he will just turn around and say - here you are - and there wont be any romance or magic in the moment. I know its not a surprise, but i still want to be proposed to!!!

I love him, and i have been super practical about this wedding, and about budgets and vendors... I have compromised on the venue and my dreams of what my wedding should be... I am afraid that I missed out on that breathtaking moment of being asked

katiebean1

 I would make sure to let him know you don't want the ring just handed to you. No, you won't be surprised, but you can still have the romantic moment.  Good luck!

AshnRobo

I'm kind of in the same situation. My FI proposed (but fell asleep during his proposal) with a ring that turned out to be fake. So since we returned it (11 months ago) I haven't had a ring.

I feel akward going to meetings with vendors. A few have even commented and I think a lot don't believe I'm engaged. It sucks, but what can you do?

I agree with PP. Tell him you know it is nothing more than a gesture at this point, but it is a gesture you want.

I'm having my ring shipped to my work. Then we are having it inspected and appraised. I told him after all that is done I want a do-over. He understands and I'm sure your FI will too!

adktd2boots

I didn't get the romantic proposal a girl always dreams of, but I'm ok with it.  I know FI is not that kind of guy.

Just let him you you want the ring delivery to be special and memorable.  Maybe you guys can go out to dinner and he can give it to you then. 

mamameech

We got engaged before the actual ring came but I made sure he knew he had to do something! It's one time deal, and he's gotta make it special (and he should want to!). Who knows, maybe he does have something planned

morenachica110

I agree with PPs. We didn't start planning before a ring, but I knew he had a ring (just no diamond). So I knew it was coming up. A couple friends of our's had gone to the jewelry store, picked out a ring, brought it home, and she was laying on the couch watching tv in her pajamas and he was just like "here". She was so disappointed (though she wouldn't ever tell him) and I told FI that I didn't need fireworks, but I wanted it to be more special than just.... "here". And he did just that

And mama's right. Maybe he already does have something planned.

NO2012

I was in a similar situation (date set, venues booked, alot of vendors chosen before I got my ring) so I totally know what you mean about not "feeling" engaged.  Alot of it has to do with the perceptions of the outside world, which is not supposed to matter, right?  BUT, now that I've had my moment and I have my ring, it's easy for me to say that.  I'm not sure if your FI is the type to intuitively know what you are feeling or what you want, or if he's a little slower on the uptake about these type of things, but I think you should directly tell him that you really want that moment with him.  If it were me, I would say "I'm not trying to steal your thunder or tell you how to do this because I'm sure it is just as important to you as it is to me, but since we have done most things out of order, I really would like a proper proposal, whatever that means to you.  I'm sure whatever you come up with will be wonderful and special."

spalihena

thanks for the support ladies...
And NO - i really appreciate what you said... Makes me feel better that it isnt just me....

NO2012

Our situation really was odd because FI has two young children and they just weren't ready for the concept of re-marriage when we needed to book the church to have it where we wanted.  So we did all that and only our parents and my bff/MOH knew.  This went on for over 6 months....so my ring wasn't just a special moment, it was finally getting to share our plans with the rest of the world.  I, too, have been nothing but practical about the wedding plans and the pace at which we were doing things for the sake of two little ones, so by the time the formal proposal and ring came I felt like I "deserved" it and I wanted that moment.  I think every girl deserves it, whatever the form it comes in.  My proposal was super low-key, at home, on the couch, just the two of us.  He did get down on one knee in the livingroom and I wouldn't have changed a thing about it.  No fireworks, roses, or champagne needed.  And 20 minutes later I had 2 little kids come over and start jumping up and down screaming "yay!  you are going to be our stepmom!"  That's what it's all about. You'll get your moment too....:)

mcmeghan311

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2012-weddings_a-fairly-odd-situation-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:a464c18c-2e4d-469b-8eae-3865079cb9cfDiscussion:edc4e261-850f-4ed6-a5b4-1e85710bf411Post:4171abd7-0560-4c7c-807a-6eb26f5fe8ae">Re: a fairly odd situation - LONG</a>:
[QUOTE]....so my ring wasn't just a special moment, it was finally getting to share our plans with the rest of the world...so by the time the formal proposal and ring came I felt like I "deserved" it and I wanted that moment.  I think every girl deserves it, whatever the form it comes in. 
Posted by NO2012[/QUOTE]

This.  My ring wasn't ready when he wanted to propose, so he told me about it and we went on the romantic weekend anyway.  We also started making plans and touring vendors etc in secrecy.  The day my ring was finally ready, it was my MOH's birthday and we knew her then-boyfriend was proposing that night, so he held off to let them have their night in the spotlight.  He proposed when we got home.  He did get down on one knee, but it wasn't planned out or dramatic.  I finally told him for the first time last night that I was disappointed that he just kind of picked a moment and said "lets go for a walk," but to be honest, I was just relieved to have it and finally be able to tell the world what we'd been planning.  I wish we had a better story, but in the end, we have a great relationship and I didn't need a ring in a glass of champagne with "will you marry me?" written in chocolate.  We're still engaged and it's still amazing :0)

Long story long (sorry), I 'd just tell him if you really want something creative.  Otherwise, he'll probably just run in the door and give it to you.