Let's have the tipping conversation...

em105

Okay, so I have read tipping charts and considered our situation and think I have my list of tips.  My fiance is literally in the wilderness and I need neutral judgement...  

DJ- $50-75- I think he owns or co-owns the business but has been super professional and just good in general..

Catering company and people- Depending on the service of the day I'll probably give like 20 to each server/staffer there as well as around $50-$100 to our event manager (she's not my favorite).  The catering company pays their servers $20/hour or so and tells you straight out that tipping is 100% at your discretion.  

Florist/Designer owns her company and I'm actually pulling the 'well, she owns her company card' here mostly because this woman is TOTALLY MIA and has been just absurdly scattered.  Okay, mostly it's because I"m pissed that I just had to pay most of the bill this week because they don't know how to properly type in the (rather large) balance into a credit card number and I found out last week...

Hair/Makeup lady- 20% of what I'm paying

Our ceremony people- (priest, organist, sexton, etc.) have a list they give you of 'honoraria' which is a fancy phrase for fees so that's what they get.  The organist is also probably going to get a Starbucks gift card- I sing in the church choir and he's such a talented musician, I just wanted to say an extra thanks.

Our photographer owns her business and is SO INCREDIBLE and has gone so far above and beyond, it's crazy.  She's also got a photography student coming with her to shoot (free to us!).  Student is getting 50 bucks probably, photographer is getting either cash or a gift certificate for a restaurant I know she loves.

Am I cheaping out even before I get these services?  

hollyweenOR

No, I'd say those are the high end of what I found when I checked w/ the Emily Post/Martha Stewart guidelines that I found when I looked around.

BMcLeodTeam

I'm tipping my hair dresser and my DJ. We got thank you gift for our photographers and wedding coordinator. The photographers are a married couple that own their own business, and the coordinator has her tip built into the resort fees, but they have both been beyond amazing.

[Deleted User]

I think you're totally fine. All of our vendors own their own businesses and I've be going back and forth on the tipping issue. I love all our vendors and I'm confident they'll do a good job but no one has gone above and beyond what we hired them to do...which I don't mind but it doesn't make me want to tip them lol. Obviously we're tipping all servers and bartenders and I'll probably get a thank you card and a gc for our DOC. I just feel like we've spent so much money already for their fees and I'm tired of spending money lol.

kmleon83

i'm so torn on tipping. in general, i'm a big tipper but i've spent so much money on this wedding already..i'm broke now lol.

i'm going to tip my makeup girl and hairdresser. i'll also tip our maitre d' and bartenders/servers. but no way can i afford 20% of dj and photographer fees. not even anywhere close, ha.

smartlypretty

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2012-weddings_lets-have-the-tipping-conversation?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:a464c18c-2e4d-469b-8eae-3865079cb9cfDiscussion:f031829e-f1bc-4d98-b8e6-04b1def9db11Post:14f5d8b7-19ee-427c-957a-afdd3b71d470">Re:Let's have the tipping conversation...</a>:
[QUOTE]I think you're totally fine. All of our vendors own their own businesses and I've be going back and forth on the tipping issue. I love all our vendors and I'm confident they'll do a good job but no one has gone above and beyond what we hired them to do...which I don't mind but it doesn't make me want to tip them lol. Obviously we're tipping all servers and bartenders and I'll probably get a thank you card and a gc for our DOC. I just feel like we've spent so much money already for their fees and I'm tired of spending money lol.
Posted by LoriG41[/QUOTE]

<div>This is how I feel. Basically everyone I contracted with owns their own business, including my hair stylist/makeup artist. I'm going to have some extra cash on me in case someone does something awesome/extra for me, but so far everyone has just done exactly their jobs. </div>

volleygurl0306

I have really great vendors all around but paying above and beyond what they are charging isn't really in our budget.  Our baker, florist and photographers all own their own business.  They will get thank you notes.  Tipping is included in our per head cost(venue and caterer is rolled into one).  The catering/events manager will also get a thank you note because she's been wonderful.  I think I'll be sending thank you notes after the wedding though to include a picture (except for maybe our photographers haha).  I'm giving my officiant a little tip/gas money on top of her very reasonable fee since she's driving out a little and then has to take our license to the courthouse the Monday after.  I'm getting our DOCs gift cards because they are doing our wedding for FREE since they are two women starting up their own company and building their portfolio.  All they asked for was a review and to take pictures of their work but I definitely want to give them something extra.  I'll also be tipping the MUA because she's actually a MK rep so I just bought my makeup from her and she's applying it for free.  So want to give her a little something as a thanks.

NO2012

I feel the same as most of you here.  While I normally am a generous tipper, I just can't see myself stretching us even more thin than we already are to tip vendors who 1) mostly own their own businesses and 2) are charging me a pretty penny for their services (and so far no one has blown me away).  If, after the day, I look back and think someone really deserved extra, I will send a gift or thank you note.  I don't really see myself taking note of it during the reception and making sure they are tipped extra that night.  Also, my local board is extremely active, especially on vendor reviews, and I will make sure to give rave reviews where appropriate. I imagine the vendors will appreciate that more than an extra $20. 

em105

THANK YOU!

This kind of 'dude, this is how I feel too' attitude is seriously helping me keep calm and relaxed.

You girls are great.